


Sidecar

by fab_fan



Series: Drunk Words - Sober Thoughts [14]
Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: A little sorry, Angst and Drama, Death, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Minor Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn, Short, Skip if not wanting to read about original characters, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, This was not supposed to happen but it appeared so here you go, idiot in love, original characters are big in this story so be aware, scylla and raelle are only mentioned, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 54,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fab_fan/pseuds/fab_fan
Summary: Henley Ramshorn-Collar was just...Henley.She was special.Of course, Skylar had to find out Henley had a girlfriend.
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, scylla ramshorn/raelle collar (mention)
Series: Drunk Words - Sober Thoughts [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1755784
Comments: 317
Kudos: 375





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy all. This is what happens when I sit down to write and something else pops into mind and onto the page. Again, if you skipped the tags, heavy focus on Henley and very minor mentions of Scylla, Raelle, and any other MFS characters. We are working with original characters here, folks, so, if that's not your thing, feel free to skip.
> 
> Takes place during Last Call (helps if you've read that one. A lot - the helping, not that you need to read it a lot. But, feel free to if you'd like.)

This was so stupid.

Pvt. Skylar Dobbins crept down the silent hallway, peeking over her shoulder at the shadows cast along the crisp sterile passageway.

The infirmary was foreboding at night, the wisps of moonlight barely streaking across the clean floors and undecorated walls. Where most of the buildings on base had a bit of elegant egalitarianism to them, especially the officers’ headquarters, this building was utilitarian. Not meant to exude a sense of authority and grandeur but, much like the Necro building she had snuck into once or twice, a building not meant to be rivaled or revered. It was little more than a shelter for those in need of help. A hopeful pitstop for most, a final destination for very few, and a comfortable yet unassuming work station for those chosen to enter the Fixer field.

Like her.

Rounding the corner, she took a breath, peering around to make sure the shadows didn’t hide any cadets doing their guard duties, strolling around annoyed that they had to spend their night walking the perimeter and checking locked doors in lieu of catching a good night’s rest before another grueling day of training or a random officer staying late to do rounds or complete paperwork.

She held her breath, listening to the silence.

She took a step, treading carefully so as not to make a sound, the floor notorious for being squeaky under regulation boots.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she, again, questioned if this was the right thing to do.

Sneaking around late at night wasn’t exactly smiled upon and rewarded with a good behavior commendation. For someone who wanted to keep their head down, serve a few years, make some money while learning her Work, and move on, racking up demerits was not the way to accomplish any of that.

But, she hadn’t been able to see Henley in days, and it felt wrong thinking she was all alone by herself in a place like this.

Henley.

The soldier let out a deep sigh, biting the inside of her cheek harder at the thought of the other girl. 

Leave it to her to catch feelings for someone way out of her league.

But, what was she supposed to do? It wasn’t her fault. She was minding her own business, trying to find a peaceful place to study late one night because her room felt too quiet and too loud at the same time when she stumbled upon a beautiful brunette curled up in a chair in the rec room, Necromancy book that looked far too advanced for the amount of stripes on her shoulders and a cup of cooling tea balanced on her knee.

Somehow Skylar found herself sitting down next to the other girl, and, next thing she knew, they were talking. 

Skylar didn’t talk to anyone.

But, she talked to Henley.

Henley was cute and funny and really damn smart.

She had a quirky endearing grin and an unspoken confident way about her that drew Skylar in like a moth to a flame.

The following day, she caught sight of the other witch while jogging around base, earning a smile and a wave.

Before she knew it, Skylar was spending time studying with the necro. Listening with rapt attention as she talked about life and death and a million things that Skylar never knew of but would listen to her talk about forever because of how excited she got about it, with a charming lilt to her words and wild gestures that knocked over more than one mug or stack of papers. Found herself getting excited when Henley asked her about fixing and lured her into discussions about how fixing and necromancy paired together perfectly.

Life and death.

Two sides of the same coin.

Two parts that, when melded together, formed a whole.

Skylar started noticing little things about Henley that made her belly swoop and her body tingle with nerves. Like, how she went for tea when she had a bad day. How she absolutely hated mushrooms but her eyes lit up when she was tasked with tending to different specimens as part of her training. How she sometimes played with a medal that wasn’t hers when she was lost in thought. How she sometimes referred to Maj. Bellwether as Aunt Abi and always seemed happy to make a call home.

Henley Ramshorn-Collar was just...Henley.

She was special.

Of course, Skylar had to find out Henley had a girlfriend.

A big strong confident blaster with a sexy swagger and crushing biceps. Magazine cover good looks and a voice that, when turned throaty and sultry, made heads turn.

Someone Henley looked at in a way that made Skylar’s heart ache.

In a way that made Skylar bite her tongue and offer a sympathetic shoulder whenever Henley confessed that, sometimes, she wasn’t sure if Allison loved her the way Henley did. That Allison seemed more and more to only have a few hours to spend in her bed at night and no time to see her during the day.

Because Skylar might think Henley was beautiful and intelligent and a whole lot of other things she didn’t have the words for, but Henley only saw Allison. 

And, it made sense. Henley wanted to fly, and Skylar liked to keep her feet firmly planted on the ground. Henley would freely dive head first into whatever challenge came her way. Skylar wanted to hang back and have a fully formed operational plan before taking a step forward. Henley had friends and went to parties. Skylar stayed in her dorm.

Henley would offer a pretty girl a flower. 

Her mind drifted to the last time she spoke with Henley. When they had been tucked away in the other girl’s dorm, Skylar pretending like she was studying but unable to not look around a bit at the trinkets and memories Henley held dear enough to keep with her at Fort Salem.

_Henley scrunched up in the desk chair, somehow contorting in a way that her small frame fit, book snug against her and pen fiddling in her fingers as she hummed to herself._

_Skylar sat against the foot of the bed, knees pulled up and her own book resting against her thighs. She subtly looked around, mocha hued eyes bouncing from the cute girl to the necro flag hanging proudly over her desk and the smattering of photos collected on a corkboard next to it._

_She could make out a picture of Henley with her unit from basic, all three girls mugging for the camera, all proudly in their dress uniforms, the shot most likely from graduation day._

_Her eyes skipped over to another photo, and she squinted, tongue poking out unconsciously as she studied it._

_Henley looked younger, her hair a touch longer, her cheeks with a bit more baby fat. She was at what looked to be a beach, the ocean a bluish strip in the background, merging with the almost clear white sun soaked sky. She was grinning widely and a tinge of pink painted across her crinkling cheeks and nose, face close to the camera, like she was trying to hold it awkwardly to snap the shot herself. Over her shoulder was an older couple, a blonde and brunette. The blonde was spread out on a large blanket next to an open cooler and an overturned book, her head in the brunette’s lap. The brunette, a woman who looked a lot like Henley, glasses perched on top of her head, hair swept back into a messy ponytail, was gazing with fond exasperation down at the blonde who was holding her hand, lips pressed delicately against her knuckles._

_“That’s the last time we went to the beach before I enlisted.”_

_Skylar blinked, “What?” She gulped as she saw Henley watching her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”_

_“It’s fine.” Henley chuckled, “I think my mama was proposing when I took it.”_

_Skylar’s brow furrowed. Proposing?_

_Henley shot a mischievous smirk at her look, “She does it a lot.”_

_“Propose?”_

_Henley nodded, rolling her eyes but her bright blues danced with mirth and affection, “Yeah. They...it’s just something they do. They’ve been together forever, but mama always asks mom to marry her, and mom always says yes.” She twirled the pen, “I know it might seem dumb but…”_

_“No,” Skylar cut her off, “It’s...it’s kind of cool, I guess.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah,” a shrug, “I know a lot of witches think it’s dumb to be committed like that but...I don’t know...seems nice. To, you know, have someone. Like that. To come home to.”_

_“Yeah,” Henley bit her bottom lip, eyes flickering with something as they looked away from the other girl, “Yeah, it does.”_

_Skylar cringed inwardly as the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them, “Is that Allison? For you?”_

_Henley bit her lip, chewing it gently as she shifted in her seat, “I used to think so.” A faraway look crossed her face._

_Used to?_

_Henley shrugged, rubbing her hands together unconsciously._

_Possibly being possessed, because there was no way she would ever normally do this, Skylar crawled to her feet and held out a hand. “Dance with me.”_

_Henley raised an eyebrow, “What?”_

_Pushing down her nerves, Skylar kept her hand out, “Will you dance with me?”_

_A curious smile slowly began to form, “There’s no music.”_

_And Skylar didn’t know how to dance, but what the hell. “Come on.”_

_Henley took her hand, unfolding her legs and letting herself be tugged up. They awkwardly stood there until Henley clasped their hands together, marble skin a sharp contrast to Skylar's own coffee colored grasp, and lightly held on to her shoulder with the softest of smiles. Wetting her suddenly parched lips, throat as dry as the Sahara, Skylar cautiously looped her arm around and touched her fingertips to the middle of her back. A low melodic hum trickled out of the necro’s throat, and they swayed back and forth._

_Skylar couldn’t be sure, but she thought she saw something flicker in those blue eyes. Before she could blink, though, Henley slid back half a step, grin playfully charming as she guided Skylar into a tiny twirl under her arm before leading her back into a close hold._

Shaking the thoughts away, Skylar continued her journey, wordlessly counting her steps and keeping an ear out for any sign of movement. Reaching the door, she wordlessly slipped inside, taking her time to close the door gently behind her. Turning around, she gulped at the sight of Henley laid out in the bed.

It looked like she was sleeping.

Taking a nap.

She looked peaceful.

Like she was fine.

Forcing herself to move forward, Skylar closed the distance between her and the bed. She eased down onto the chair by the other girl’s side.

Hesitant hands hovered, wanting to take the pale one in her own but not sure if she should. 

Hanging in the air, she flexed her fingers before slowly lowering them onto the bed beside Henley’s hand, her pinky finger sliding out to ever so gingerly touch the curve of her palm.

“Hi.” Skylar whispered, grimacing at how loud it sounded in the silence. Chewing the inside of her cheek, she let her gaze run along the elegant brow and regal jaw, her hands aching to brush away the strand of hair that had somehow found it’s way past a cute ear. 

“I...uh...I’m sorry I haven’t visited for a while.” Skylar murmured. “I was gonna bring you some stuff from your dorm...but...I wasn’t sure what you’d want.” She hastily dug into her pocket, “I got this, though.” She pulled out two slightly bent pictures, one of Henley with her unit, mugging it for the camera in their dress uniforms and one of Henley at the beach, her parents in the background. The soldier glanced around, unsure of where to put them. Making a decision, she delicately propped them on the small table next to the head of the bed, leaning them against a tiny stack of books. 

“There.” she nodded to herself. “I know they’re a bit bent. Sorry. I...probably should have not put them in my pocket.” Settling back in her seat, she ran her hand over her short cropped black hair, “Saw your folks the other day. Your parents. They were walking into one of the officer buildings. They...uh...they miss you. Everyone misses you.” A thought struck her, and she shoved her hand in her other pocket, “Almost forgot, here.” Tangled in her fingers was a long chain, a circular medal hanging, spinning a bit, the name Cpt. Raelle Collar flashing, as she discreetly slid it under Henley’s hand, “I know you like to have this with you.”

This was hard. She felt awkward and weird and seeing Henley likes this made her chest hurt and a lump form in her throat, “You’re going to be ok. We’ll figure it out. The best fixers are here to help you. Your mama is...she’s...well...you know. And your mom seems really smart, too. Well, not seems. Is. I heard her talking, and she’s probably smarter than the entire necro department. I know they’ll bring you back.” She swallowed roughly, “Until then, you can catch up on some sleep. Make the rest of us jealous.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, blinking back a sheen of wetness as she focused back on the brunette, “If it’s ok, I’ll stay here for a bit? We can just...sit here.” She chuckled sadly, “It’s weird and creepy, but I sort of like just sitting with you.”

Henley didn’t respond.

Skylar sucked on the inside of her bottom lip, “When you wake up, I bet your friends will have a huge party. Might even show up for it. You won’t have to randomly show up at my dorm like that one time. Not that you’re not welcome...just...you know.”

_Skylar heard a loud thump against her door. Frowning to herself, she glanced at the slightly beat up watch wrapped around her right wrist._

_It was late._

_Or early._

_Whichever._

_Hearing another thump, she rubbed at her tired eyes and set aside the textbook she was trying desperately to decipher because the jumbled words were more like Latin than English by this point, possibly because there were a fair bit of Latin phrases strewn in the paragraphs, and stood up, cautiously walking over to her door._

_She slowly opened it to reveal a cheerfully grinning Henley Ramshorn-Collar, hair in a loose bun and eyes brighter than the sun and moon and all the stars._

_“Hey! Hi! Hello!” Henley gave a wobbly wave._

_Skylar blinked._

_What was happening? “Hi.”_

_Henley swayed a bit, perking up, “Hi!”_

_“You said that already.”_

_“Oh,” an adorable little frown appeared._

_“Are you ok?”_

_Henley nodded, the frown disappearing, “I’m great.”_

_Ok._

_Skylar peeked around her, seeing an empty hallway, “Are you sure?”_

_“Yep,” Henley clumsily leaned against the doorjamb, “you should have flowers.”_

_What?_

_Henley nodded to herself, “You’re nice and sweet and super quiet but that’s not a bad thing and people should give you flowers and tell you you’re pretty and make you laugh because you have a really nice laugh and you don’t laugh enough and my mama says you should walk pretty girls home and I haven’t walked you home for a long time and I really want to walk you home but I shouldn’t because you’re not my pretty girl and my mom says you just know and mama was mama and you’re you and sometimes I think I know but then I don’t and I miss them and I miss you when I don’t see you and Imma walk you home, ok?”_

_Skylar’s mouth dropped open a bit as she tried to process what all just spilled out in a tangled mess from the other witch’s mouth. “I’m already home.”_

_“Oh.”_

_Skylar wanted to smack herself. Why did she say that? “Do you...want to come in?”_

_Henley seemed to lean forward but then rocked back, “I should...I should go.”_

_Skylar reached out, grasping her wrist, “Come on.” She gave a gentle tug, “Are you drunk?”_

_“No!” Yes._

_Skylar lightly pulled her into the room, closing the door and leading her to the bed, “You can sleep it off.”_

_Henley flopped onto the mattress, bouncing slightly, “Ramshorn-Collars don’t get drunk.”_

_“Sure, Hen.”_

_Henley peered up at her through squinted eyes, “Do you like moonshine?”_

_Skylar knelt down, unlacing her friend’s boots and pulling them off before maneuvering her full onto the bed, “Only from the Cession.”_

_Henley’s lashes fluttered lazily, “Mama’d like you.”_

_“Go to sleep, Hen. I’ll be over her studying, ok?”_

_“Mom, too.”_

Skylar picked at a tiny cut on her hand, “You can keep sleeping, Hen. For a little while. I’ll be right here.”


	2. Late Night Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “YES!”
> 
> Henley groaned loudly as Skylar energetically pumped a fist in the air, smugly twirling her pool stick as she watched the ball roll into the corner pocket, “You’re a shark, Dobbins.”
> 
> “You’re the one who wanted to play.” she sidled up to the pool table, flipping her stick and snugly anchoring the tip in the crease of her thumb, “Be ready to pay up, Necro.”
> 
> “You haven’t won yet,” Henley leaned against her own stick, watching her friend line up the shot, “I think I liked you better when you didn’t say anything.”
> 
> Skylar glanced up, a wicked smirk settling in place and maintaining eye contact as she pulled the cue back and snapped it forward, sending the white ball rocketing toward the solid red sphere near the other end of the table. It smashed into its side, sending the red skirting along and into the far pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More, you say? Well...ok. Here you are. Since you all asked so nicely and seriously. Quality not guaranteed.
> 
> Takes place before the previous chapter. (We are time traveling backwards!)

“YES!”

Henley groaned loudly as Skylar energetically pumped a fist in the air, smugly twirling her pool stick as she watched the ball roll into the corner pocket, “You’re a shark, Dobbins.”

“You’re the one who wanted to play.” she sidled up to the pool table, flipping her stick and snugly anchoring the tip in the crease of her thumb, “Be ready to pay up, Necro.”

“You haven’t won yet,” Henley leaned against her own stick, watching her friend line up the shot, “I think I liked you better when you didn’t say anything.”

Skylar glanced up, a wicked smirk settling in place and maintaining eye contact as she pulled the cue back and snapped it forward, sending the white ball rocketing toward the solid red sphere near the other end of the table. It smashed into its side, sending the red skirting along and into the far pocket.

“Do you hustle all your friends or am I special.” Henley pouted as Skylar strutted around, surveying the landscape.

“You know your special, Hen.” Skylar paused, squinting at the layout, “And you suck at pool.”

Henley threw her hands up, “We didn’t play it!”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you bet me that you would kick my ass.”

“It didn’t look that hard.” Henley grumbled, twisting the stick back and forth.

Skylar shook her head. That sounded like something a blaster would say.

They weren’t the smartest specialty. 

Peeking over at the brunette, she released a long sigh, “Come here.”

“What? Want me to get a closer look at you beating me? Harsh, Sky.”

Skylar rested her cue against the table and nudged her chin, “Come on, grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy.” Henley made her way over, “You cheated.”

“How did I cheat?”

Henley gestured wildly, “With your...knowing how to play and not telling me.”

Skylar stared at her.

She looked adorable with her rumpled hair and crooked shirt, the late night hour wrinkling the regulation cotton t-shirt. She had a smudge of what looked like jam at the corner of her mouth, a tiny sticky speck of purple, and her steaming mug of tea was cold over on the table near where Skylar had found the necro curled up in a chair, rubbing her hands together, the glimmer of a medal in her palms, and staring into nothing, lost in thought as the clock ticked past the midnight hour mark.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she motioned to her own mouth, “You have a little…”

“What?” Henley wiped at her mouth, spreading the substance further up her cheek.

“No...just...here.” Skylar reached over and rubbed her thumb along the curve of her mouth, swiping away whatever it was, most likely the remnants of a snack.

Henley froze at the touch, blinking as Skylar pulled away, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” she self-consciously brushed her thumb against her sweatpants, ducking her head away from eyes that held a lazy sort of softness with a streak of sharp wonder and intelligence when it hit her how close she had been, how close she was, to the other girl.

What had she just done?

She really wanted to smack herself upside the head.

She had to settle for mentally berating herself.

Both seemed to sway back, a breathy laugh shared between them.

“So…” Henley hunched her shoulders, hands slipping against her thighs as she reached for nonexistent pockets in her sleep shorts.

“Oh,” Skylar perked up, “Here.” She pointed at the spot in front of her, “Stand there.”

Henley squinted at her but did as told, “Ok.”

“Ok, um,” Skylar grabbed Henley’s stick, positioning it with the tip pointed at the white ball, “Hold this.”

A slow grin began to form, “Are you teaching me how to play pool?”

“I’m trying.” Skylar danced around her, positioning her hands on the stick and lifting her elbow, “You’re really bad at this.”

It was almost comical how bad.

Probably didn’t help she wasn’t the most coordinated witch around.

She could figure out the theoretical elements of an ancient piece of Work lost to history until a few months ago but couldn’t go through a week without spilling at least half a cup of something.

A beautiful adorable charming disaster.

Skylar was a goner.

“I got one of them in!”

“Accidentally.” She was pretty sure some Work was involved in it.

Henley would know how to magic a billiard ball into a pocket but not be able to actually strike it.

And Henley called her the cheater.

“Don’t get cocky, Sky. My epic comeback is happening.”

“Comeback for what?”

Henley made a show of glaring at her.

Skylar shot her an innocent grin before her lips fell.

Oh.

She hadn’t thought this through.

“Um...can you…” she wiggled her hands, “face more to the right?”

Henley shifted her hips.

“No...like…” 

She really hadn’t thought this through.

Inhaling deeply, Skylar lightly grasped Henley’s hips, guiding her into a better stance.

She did not at all think about how she could feel the other woman’s belly move as she breathed, the hint of muscle and smooth skin poking out from where her shirt had bunched up and her shorts were slung low. 

Nope.

Or how she would press into Henley’s back, hand hovering over the brunette’s, her own breath stuttering as she smelled the soap that clung to her freshly showered skin along with something that made Skylar want to close her eyes and burrow her nose into the crook of her neck forever. Pushing past the way her throat tightened, she grimaced when her voice rasped unexpectedly, “Can I?”

Henley nodded, “Yeah.”

She carefully laid her hand on top of Henley’s, using every inch of willpower to not rest her chin on a slim shoulder and kiss the patch of skin right by her lips. “Ok, now, when you pull back, you want to be quick when you send it forward. Flick your wrist.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.” She helped her steady the cue, “Line up your shot.”

Henley focused on the table, but there was a thready lilt to her voice, “You missed dinner.”

Yes, she had.

She hadn’t felt like mingling.

Or dealing with people.

Henley kept her gaze forward, “I heard about the boy.”

Skylar sucked in a painful gasp.

It wasn’t a surprise the news had spread. Nothing was secret at Fort Salem.

Almost nothing.

She shrugged, “Yeah.”

“That tea is yours.” Henley still didn’t look at her but hadn’t moved the stick. 

“Oh.”

“You took a little longer to come down.”

She hadn’t even wanted to. She wanted to stay up in her dorm and do everything to not think about the little boy who had been brought into the infirmary. A little boy who had been part of a refugee group seeking solace in the United States. A little boy who was sick and injured.

The little boy who was now in the necro building.

Skylar didn’t notice Henley had laid down her cue and turned around until hands curled into her own, holding them firmly between them, thumb pushing against her knuckles, “I don't know everything that happened, but I’m here if you want to talk about it. Or not.” She wet her lips, lifting a shoulder, “My mama would sometimes come home from work and not want to talk. Mom said to give her space. She’d talk when she was ready.” A huff, “A lot of times I’d hear them talking in their room after I went to bed. A few times I was annoyed. Why wouldn’t they talk to me? I could handle it.” A breath, “There were a lot of things I could have handled that they didn’t tell me.”

Skylar frowned.

Henley shook her head, laughing a touch self-consciously, “Sorry.”

Skylar wasn’t sure what to say.

But, she wanted her to smile again.

“What I’m trying to say is - you can talk to me. When you’re ready. We can talk now or later or...whenever. You can trust me.” Her voice dipped shyly, "I care about you."

“Thanks,” she felt Henley squeeze her hands as a lump formed in her throat. 

The room grew quiet again.

Henley cleared her throat after a minute, “Did I ever tell you how stupid the Odyssey is?”

“No.”

Henley sighed, “Totally bastardized necromancy. Completely! I have no idea what idiot thought they should write it, but they were so wrong. So wrong, Sky. We had to read it in school, too! Goddess, you wouldn’t believe how bad it was.”

Skylar smiled, letting her friend’s rant soothe her, drawing her mind away from the heavy topic.

She stood there and laughed and nodded along, at some point Henley pushing up to sit on the table, legs swinging, game long forgotten.

Their hands never let go of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill. Drop me a line to know if you liked it, hated it, want more, want it gone, etc.


	3. Sour Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey,” Allison cupped her face softly, “Hen, what’s wrong?”
> 
> Henley sighed, reached out and grasped her wrists, “I...it feels like…”
> 
> “Like what?”
> 
> “Like I never see you.” Henley admitted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Allison! Where have you been, girl?

Henley whimpered, biting down hard on the sleeve of her jacket as her hips rolled to meet thrusting fingers, breath hitching at the almost frantic pace, the rhythm hard and fast. She clung to Allison’s strong shoulder, jacket bunched and twisted in her unsteady grip, legs weak as they fell open wider, her back sliding against the smooth wall of the empty classroom. 

Another finger slipped in, curling and dragging and fuck...Henley’s head fell back, neck straining and stomach clenching as she crashed over the edge, body shaking, only held up by a firm arm wrapped around her, her girlfriend’s body pushing her against the wall.

Her voice left her as the fingers began to slow, the body against her a familiar anchor. 

A light kiss brushed against her cheek, “Good?”

Henley nodded after a minute, head lolling forward to rest against Allison’s as the blaster placed light open mouthed kisses along her jaw. Her arm slowly relaxed, hand sliding to cup the nape of the dark haired girl’s neck. She exhaled with a tiny grunt as fingers drifted away, leaving her feeling suddenly empty. Allison blindly wiped them on her trousers before nipping at her pulse point and easing the younger witch’s belt back into place.

“You’re gorgeous, Hen.” She murmured against flushed skin, nibbling a path up to her ear and sucking at the spot just below, “So good.”

Henley massaged the back of her neck, breaths starting to calm, “Hi.”

A smirk tickled her jaw and the tip of a nose nudged playfully, “Hey.”

Henley bit her lip as Allison placed one final kiss to her throat and pulled back, helping to straighten out the necro’s shirt. She darted forward, stealing a kiss against the confidently twisted lips. 

She focused on how Allison tasted, the feel of her lips, the way they moved against her own. Thought about the way she felt against her, solid and so so pretty.

She tried not to think about how her heart didn’t hammer or stop or skip.

How it didn’t react at all.

Not when she first caught sight of her that day.

Not now, their mouths slowly moving together. 

It was normal. It was fine.

Her heart had been pounding like crazy a few seconds ago.

Besides...it was dumb to think she’d always feel...something...when kissing Allison, seeing Allison. Not after being together so long.

Right?

Allison indulged her for a few moments, lightly returning the kiss, before breaking away, running the pad of her thumb against her cheek, “I have to go. Training in a few. I’ll see you later?”

Henley fought back a frown. Allison had appeared near the entrance to the medical building as the brunette had left the smattering of offices where she’d spoken with Lt. Martins about an upcoming War College lecture on how unit leaders could best pair necor and fixer energies, the other witch pushing away from where she had been casually leaning with her legs crossed one over the other, darkened green eyes and a confident strut leading Henley to one of the few classrooms in the infirmary, empty and unused.

Before the door had even shut, Allison was undoing her belt and shoving her hand past her underwear.

“Dinner?” Henley asked, fiddling with the end of her jacket.

“Sure. Maybe.” Allison lifted up her watch to check the time.

“Allison,”

“Yeah?”

Henley licked her lips, flexing her fingers at her sides, “We should go on a date.”

Allison blinked, head tilting curiously, “A date?”

“Yeah. We haven’t gone on one since classes started.”

“Hen, we do stuff all the time. We’re getting dinner later.”

“I know...it’s just…” 

That wasn’t a date

That was dinner.

Where they would be sitting in a busy cafeteria surrounded by a lot of people and more than likely sharing a table with friends.

Not that she didn’t like seeing her friends, but that wasn't a date.

That wasn’t _them_ time.

“Hey,” Allison cupped her face softly, “Hen, what’s wrong?”

Henley sighed, reached out and grasped her wrists, “I...it feels like…”

“Like what?”

“Like I never see you.” Henley admitted. 

“What are you talking about? I’m right here.”

“I know. I know.” Henley’s jaw worked as she tried to put into words what was looming like a gloomy painful cloud in her chest, making it hard to breathe sometimes when she let it grow, thundering with confusion and anxiousness against her lungs, “But, you’re sort of...not?” She released a frustrated breath, “I’m not explaining this right.”

“You’re really not.” Allison pecked her lips, “Hen, stop worrying. Ok?”

“Sometimes I feel like you’re not really with me. Not like before.” Henley let out, the words tasting acrid on her tongue, sour and rotten.

“I had my fingers inside of you a minute ago, and you’re saying I’m not here?” Allison huffed. She dropped her hands, breaking free from Henley’s loose hold.

“No, Allison,” Henley rubbed at her forehead, trying to grab at her wrist again, “I’m saying I don’t see you anymore. You...this is what we do. We have sex and you’re gone, like, five minutes later.”

“I have training, Hen. You do, too.”

No, she didn’t. Her day was done.

Which Allison knew. Or should have known.

She had to have known.

“And two nights ago? Last week? You left before I woke up. Two nights ago you didn’t even stay till I fell asleep.”

She didn’t hold her in her arms, tenderly running her fingers through her hair, her heartbeat and soft breaths lulling the younger witch to sleep.

She didn't wait for Henley to snuggle up behind her, draping an arm over her hips and nuzzling the nape of her neck.

“I have an early morning class and training, Hen. You know this. We’ve talked about this. I can’t exactly sprint back to my dorm and make it to class on time.” Allison shook her head, “What were you expecting? We’ve been together for a long time. A _really_ long time. We’re not going to be...going on dates every night.”

“I know that,” Henley felt a spark of anger begin to swirl inside the cloud, “but, maybe we could talk? I have no idea what you’re learning about in your classes. And...we’re doing some really cool stuff in my Wednesday and Friday class where…”

“Hen,” Allison cut her off, “we talk, ok? We do. I don’t have time to listen about all your creepy necro stuff right now. I’m going to be late.”

Henley’s spine snapped into steel.

No.

She did not just say that.

She didn't.

“Creepy?” Her gaze hardened, “You think what I do is _creepy_?”

“You work with the dead, Henley.”

“Wow.” 

She couldn’t believe this.

How could she not see how...precious what she did could be? Fascinating? How it wasn’t about death, well, not really. That it was complicated and beautiful and not creepy.

It was life.

It was life and death and a giant circle that involved everything.

Allison exhaled loudly, “You know what I mean.” She leaned forward, kissing her cheek, “I’m with you. I’m right here. You know I care about you. We’re both really busy. And, we’re not kids anymore.”

“What do you mean _we’re not kids anymore_?”

“It’s not like those romance movies your friend likes to watch. We’re not back home where we don’t have any responsibilities. We’re not going to, I don’t know...”

“Go on dates?”

“Henley,”

“Slow dance when there's no music? Fall asleep together every night? Make each other tea when we’re feeling bad?” She swallowed thickly, “Walk pretty girls home?”

Allison ran a frustrated hand through her hair, “We’re not your parents, Henley.” A low sardonic scoff, “No one is. Your parents are…”

Her words dripped in an icy growl, “Are what?”

“They’re weird.” Allison gestured, “You know they’re weird.”

“My parents aren’t weird.” Well, they were, but not like Allison was implying.

Not like everyone else always seemed to imply.

“Henley, let’s be honest. Ok? Think. Witches don’t stay together like that. We don’t. It’s not in our culture. Our blood. It’s not who we are. Staying with one person your entire life? Only having sex with one person? That’s...not even most civilians do that.”

Henley didn’t know if she wanted to cry or throw something. “What are you saying?”

“You know what I’m saying.”

This wasn’t the first time Allison had made a comment.

The blaster continued, “I wouldn’t even be surprised if your mama had some patients she liked to play doctor with at her clinic. And your mom...”

Allison’s words cut off as Henley shoved her away, the necro’s hand burning, visibly shaking, with the effort to not swing, “Shut up, Allison.”

“It’s true. How else would they still be together.”

“My parents love each other. They’re not cheating!”

“It’s not cheating if the other person is ok with it. How do you think marriages work?”

“Not like that.” the tendons in her forearms ached with how taut her muscles were, “That’s not ok.”

“Who do you know that stays together like that? My parents...” 

“We are still together.” She stared at her girlfriend. 

They were still together.

“I know. And, it’s great. I like you a lot. So much. I…” a distant bell chimed. Classes and training were starting, “Can we talk about this later? Please?”

“Fine.”

Allison seemed to weigh her words, rocking on her feet, but the sound of soldiers and cadets rushing to their classes echoed from the open window on the other side of the room, reminding her she was supposed to be near the far fields. “Ok I’ll see you tonight. If I can’t make dinner, I’ll swing by your room after, ok? We’ll talk. I’ll stay as long as you want. I promise. I'll even bring snacks and steal the bottle of alcohol that girl three doors down from me is hiding. It'll be a date.”

Henley could only nod, her eyes stinging with the effort to not let a tear form.

Allison walked by her, kissing her cheek as she brushed by, pausing for half a step, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“I’ll see you after training.” 

Henley stood there, listening as the door unlocked and opened. She tried to take a few deep breaths, chest rising and falling as she bit her lip, closing her eyes and willing herself to calm down.

She knew how people thought about her parents. About her. That it was weird. Wrong.

Civilians thought they were strange because they could do Work. Were witches. 

Witches thought they were strange because they loved each other.

Henley didn’t understand how everyone else wasn’t wanting what they had. That everyone else didn’t care if the person they had sex with was someone they liked...loved...someone they trusted. Wanted for more than a few quick encounters.

It was a gut punch when she arrived at basic. Sure, there had been hints when she was younger. None of her aunts or her Uncle Byron stayed with anyone long term. Her Grandpa Edwin and Willa were...well, there was a lot there that she knew not everyone explained to her, but there had to be a very very good reason her mama and Willa did not get along and Edwin visited by himself. Some of her friends had single parents or their parents got remarried after five or so years. Allison’s mother and father weren’t together when they met. 

But, it was when she arrived at basic that she got confused looks and snickers when she mentioned her parents.

Her parents who had been married forever and together even longer.

Who told each other they loved each other. 

Always said they loved each other.

Her mom tried to explain once that they did that because there was a time she couldn’t, and she never wanted to miss the chance again.

She thought Allison sort of understood. She liked her parents. They got along. Her parents liked her.

Allison knew how she grew up.

What she wanted.

But, sometimes, she said and did stuff like this.

Did Allison even want to be with her?

Did she even love her?

She had to. They were still together. Like Allison said, they were both busy. War College was big and fast paced and unrelenting. Classes were hard. Training could be brutal. Especially for blasters who had to command the power of nature herself. 

Allison said they would talk. She’d stay over. 

They’d figure it out.

Together.

A cautious knock interrupted her thoughts, “Uh...hi.”

Henley turned around to see Skylar standing shyly in the doorway, shoulder resting against the door jamb and hands in her pockets. The fixer offered her a sincere yet small little half grin when their eyes met.

“Hi,” Henley wiped at her face, “what are you doing here?”

“I sort of live here during the day.” A shrug, “It’s better than running laps outside.”

“Oh, yeah.” she was still in the infirmary.

“Are you ok?” She straightened her stance, “Necro building is the other way. It’s the one with the door no one can ever find...which...that’s...actually kind of cool.”

“Yeah...I was meeting about a class.”

Skylar frowned in thought for a moment before perking up, “The one with Lt. Martins?”

Henley nodded.

“Should have known. That’s totally up your alley. It’s a fixer-necro thing, right?”

“You should join.” Henley felt the cloud slowly dissipate at the spark on her friend’s face.

“Is it still open? I thought it was full.” 

“If you ask, she’ll probably open a spot.”

“Cool, yeah, sure.” Skylar nodded enthusiastically. 

They both grew quiet.

Henley watched Skylar fidget with her fingers, twisting them together in front of her for a few beats, head ducked, before the fixer spoke up, eyes still downcast, “Do you have class now?”

“No, I’m done for the day.”

“Me too. Um...maybe…” she inhaled deeply, “walk you back? To your dorm? If you want?”

Henley felt something warm and soft and cozy in her belly, “Yeah, ok.”

“Ok.” 

Neither moved.

Finally, Henley rolled her eyes and strolled forward, “Let’s go.”

Skylar stepped back to let her pass, hopping up to her side as they meandered down the hallway, “So...uh...what sort of stuff did you learn in your Wednesday class? You guys were bringing things back to life...right? Birds...or something?”

Henley grinned tenderly.


	4. Reel Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was hot.
> 
> No problem for the half dressed people prancing about the grounds.
> 
> The mug drifted back down to her side, and she skipped around a foursome of boys doing their best to catch the attention of a cadet, following her with wide eyes and salacious smirks.
> 
> Welcome to Beltane, everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all knew it was coming...

Well, this was uncomfortable as hell.

Skylar meandered around the open clearing, tucking one hand in the pocket of her ironed grey slacks while raising the other one to sip from the pewter mug she was holding, more to give herself something to do and not appear so weird than because of actual thirst. The sharp tang of the alcohol was soothed by the fruity honey sweetness of the mixture, and she let it coat her tongue, swishing it around a bit in her mouth before swallowing. 

At least the slight buzz was helping her relax in the heated sultry atmosphere.

And not even necessarily heated in a sexy way.

It was hot.

No problem for the half dressed people prancing about the grounds.

The mug drifted back down to her side, and she skipped around a foursome of boys doing their best to catch the attention of a cadet, following her with wide eyes and salacious smirks.

Welcome to Beltane, everyone.

Her shoulders slumped as she skimmed the toe of her boot along the short blades of manicured grass.

She didn’t exactly want to be there, but participation was heavily encouraged, even for War College students. She, at least, had class when the Reel would take place. Well, she had volunteered to help in the infirmary, but potato-tomato. 

Either way, she wasn’t planning on sticking around when the music started.

Not that she was against it or anything. Not at all. Far from it.

She just didn’t want to spend the night with some random girl who she would have to then see in the hallways or around base afterwards, knowing they’d only spent a handful of hours together because of some strange drum-line inspired dance that paired them up for nothing more than a night of debauchery.

She wasn’t into that type of thing, personally. 

Not to say she hadn’t had sex. Or didn’t like it. Enjoy it. Actually, really enjoy it.

The glow of her mark proved that.

She’d just rather it be with someone she actually liked. Who liked her. Someone who she at least had had more than a quick shared glance with.

Because, sleeping with someone who was a nameless face, a warm body, wasn’t...great.

If she was honest with herself, though, there was another reason she didn’t want to go, but she wasn’t always honest with herself.

Lately, she was actually making it a sport she excelled at to not be honest with herself.

Championship level lies.

Because, what else did she have but lies?

Hearing a melodic laugh, her belly swooped and she froze, head immediately swiveling around to search for the source.

Her brown eyes landed on the beaming face of one Henley Ramshorn-Collar.

Her friend.

The witch’s chest squeezed painfully as she watched the light spring breeze ruffle Henley’s hair, loose and flirty in silky waves around her grinning features, blue eyes like a lighthouse, bright and calling silently to her, offering a bit of peace in the sea of people she found herself adrift in. 

The fixer gulped, almost dropping her mug as she let her eyes roam. The brunette’s shimmering locks led down to a brilliant green dress that hugged her curves and revealed arms the color of marble, as alluring and provocative as one of the ancient statues she’d seen in photos back during high school history class. Her lips were the color of rubies, and Skylar couldn't help but watch as a hand rose to absentmindedly push a few strands of soft delicate hair out of her face and back behind her ear, sunlight glimmering off the elegant gem gracing her ear.

She was the May Queen come to life.

Or something like that.

Skylar bit her lip, mentally scolding herself. 

She shouldn’t think about things like that. 

It was dumb and...corny and...

They were friends and...well…just friends.

But, friends could appreciate how good their friends looked.

And Henley looked good.

She looked...happy.

She looked...like she was looking directly at Skylar.

The witch fumbled with her mug, setting it down so as not to spill it all over herself as Henley lit up, waving at her. Skylar lifted her chin, giving a silent nod in greeting, trying not to notice how the group Henley was talking to peered over their shoulders at her, curious at who their friend was motioning at to join them.

Skylar answered the wordless offer with a tiny shake of her head and shrug.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hang out with Henley’s friends. She just...didn’t want to make a fool of herself because she’d probably be staring at the other girl the entire time.

Besides, Allison was probably around, and this was already awkward enough as it was.

Henley seemed to say something to her group before stepping around them and strolling over to Skylar, “Sky! Hey!”

“Hi,” Skylar smiled tenderly, unable to do anything else. She found herself staring into heartfelt blue orbs.

It really wasn’t fair how good she looked.

“I’ve been looking for you. When did you get here? Your class got out over an hour ago, right?” 

“Yeah, uh...just a little while ago.” Skylar shrugged.

She might have taken a bit longer than she did last Beltane to get ready.

For no reason in particular.

It took time to roll her sleeves up evenly, that’s all.

They both stood there, drinking in the sight of the other. Skylar tamped down the urge to shove her hands in her pockets when Henley snagged her bottom lip between her teeth, the sun turning the brunette’s cheeks a slight shade of pink as their eyes caught.

For a moment, Skylar forgot there was anyone else around.

All she could see were those blue eyes.

They were beautiful.

Hypnotizing. They changed color with Henley’s moods. Darkening and lightening, turning from sky to sea and back again. Rolling waves that met the shore before receding back out to the unending depths.

A loud braying chortle knocked her out of her thoughts, causing her to flinch at the unexpected sound. Her shoulders hunched, tensing as she quickly became aware, again, of how many people were around. 

How not alone they were.

How Henley’s friends were staring at them.

Henley’s eyes crinkled slightly, her mouth twitching as she tilted her head a bit to the side, “Come on.”

“Hmmm?” she grimaced as some people bumped into her.

Was the entire outdoor world not big enough for them to be able to walk around her?

Why was Beltane like this?

Henley lightly grasped her wrist and gave a quick tug, “Come on,” She began to lead Skylar away from the large crowd toward a quieter area off to the side, a smattering of blankets and plush cushions spread out for people to relax on. “You look amazing, by the way.”

Ok, she was blushing, “Eh, not like you.” She gave a low playful whistle, “Not sure that look is legal, Private.”

Henley rolled her eyes but gave a tiny twirl, the skirt of her dress swishing around her legs, before retaking her wrist, “You approve?”

“I think everyone approves.”

“Didn’t know we were calling you that, but I’ll be sure to refer to you as Private First Class Everyone from now on.”

“You are such a dork.” she bashfully rolled her eyes as Henley let her go, spinning around to face her.

“And you are beautiful.” she pinched between her thumb and forefinger the fabric of Skylar’s baby blue sleeve that was rolled up to her elbow, “I mean it, Sky. Really beautiful.” She fiddled with the rolled up fabric, gently smoothing down the creases and tucking it in a bit tighter.

Skylar ducked her head, “Thanks.”

They both grew quiet, the loud chatter of the other witches a distant hum.

It was comfortable.

It was nice.

Of course, Skylar had to break it.

“Where’s Allison?” Skylar hated herself. Why did she ask that?

Maybe because Allison was her friend’s girlfriend?

Idiot.

Henley’s shoulder dropped a fraction, “She got caught up with some other blasters.”

Skylar’s eyebrow ticked up. 

Henley waved her off, “She’ll be back for the Reel. It’s fine.”

It wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

“Do you two even need to do the Reel? Since you know who you’ll end up with?”

Henley paused before responding, “It’s fun, and my friends want us to all go together.” 

She didn’t know why, but she felt there was something going on, “Did you all go together last year?”

“Yeah. Well, sort of. Allison was already in War College, and I was in basic. We met up during the Reel.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.”

“It’s cool she was able to find you. I mean, no surprise, right? Of course she’d find you.”

They loved each other.

They were a couple.

They were...Henley and Allison.

Henley blinked, worrying her bottom lip for a moment. She opened her mouth before closing it, shifting her weight a bit. 

“Hen?”

Making a decision, Henley shook her hands, nervous tension seeping out as she quietly admitted, “I almost didn’t end up with Allison last year.”

Brown eyes widened, “What?”

She almost hadn’t ended up with Allison?

Had Allison almost not gone?

What?

Her mind raced at this, trying to understand. A heavy invisible weight pressed down on her chest.

The Reel knew who you were supposed to be with. It knew more about you than even you did.

Henley’s chin dropped, her hands rubbing together anxiously, “I could be wrong. I’m probably wrong. We were dancing, and the song was almost over. I hadn’t seen Allison the entire time. This is dumb.”

Dark hands gingerly touched Henley’s, warm and full of trust, “You can tell me. It’s not dumb. Promise.”

She could trust her.

She could always trust Skylar.

A deep breath was followed by a wry half-smile, “It’s...I felt like I should have gone left, but Allison appeared and took my hands and...I didn’t go left.” A huff, “She was probably to my left, and I just didn’t see her.”

“Yeah, probably.” There was something else, she could sense it. Feel it in the tightness of her friend’s shoulders, the way her hands clenched beneath hers, “Hen...did you and Allison have another fight?”

“We don’t have fights.” Henley quickly corrected.

Skylar just stared at her.

Every couple had fights.

She walked into a heated back and forth once between the two on her way to dinner. 

Now, that had been awkward.

Henley had shown up at her dorm later that night. They didn’t talk much. They mainly sat there, scrunched up on the floor at the foot of Skylar’s bed, listening to the quiet of the night.

The next day she spotted Henley and Allison walking by the training fields, hands clasped together and Allison whispering something that caused Henley to laugh.

Henley’s hands dropped away from Skylar’s, her arms crossing over her chest protectively, comfortingly, her chin poking out as she clenched her jaw, “It was stupid.”

Skylar waited patiently.

Before Henley could find the words she might want to speak, an arm looped around her shoulders, exposed bicep flexing and a flash of eye-catching red crashing into view.

“Hey,” Allison pulled Henley into a kiss, lips claiming the younger witch’s heavily, “finally found you. I missed you.” She kissed her again, drawing out a smile as she nuzzled against her girl’s nose, teasingly nipping at her cheek, “Reel’s about to start.” She wrapped her arm more fully around her and jokingly wiggled her eyebrows,“Unless you want to skip and have our own dance here.”

Henley gazed up at her, resting a hand against her uncovered chest, “That line is terrible, Allison.”

Green eyes sparked as she kissed her again, “That wasn’t a no.”

Henley broke away from her, tapping her chest in a silent command to back up a step, which the older girl reluctantly did after one more long kiss. She turned to look at Skylar who was standing there awkwardly, glancing away and toward her shuffling feet. “Coming with?”

“No.” she hooked a thumb over her shoulder, “Infirmary duty.”

“More the merrier.” Allison’s hold seemed to tighten around Henley, the younger witch shifting to lean into her side, tucked up against her, but there was something in the blaster’s gaze, in the cut of her jaw, “It’s Beltane.”

Beltane.

“I know. But…” she shrugged.

She wasn’t going to watch Henley and Allison dance together and go galavanting off to have sex all night.

Her internal championship lies could only go so far.

Her stomach clenched and her belly churned at the idea of seeing them even closer than they were now. Seeing Henley underneath Allison. Seeing them flirty and happy and in love.

Watching the Reel bring them together.

Goddess, she supported Henley, but she couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t.

She met Allison’s eyes, not flinching as they grew a touch colder the longer they looked at her. A hint of hardness swirling in the green depths.

Henley offered Skylar an understanding glance. “Meet you tomorrow? Breakfast?”

“Sure.”

“Might want to make it lunch.” Allison gave a shrug, a casual smugness in the action, “Might be a late morning.” she rubbed her thumb along the curve of her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Skylar really did not want to be there any longer.

Henley peeked up at her girlfriend with an indiscernible look before returning her gaze to Skylar, “I’ll stop by? We can walk over together.”

Skylar could only nod.

Allison tugged at Henley, a raised eyebrow paired with curious eyes that were thread with something distinctly sharp and mildly upset, almost resembling pain, at the unspoken brush-off.

Henley opened her mouth as if to say something but thought better of it. With one more smile, she let Allison lead her away. “See you tomorrow, Skylar.”

“Todd!” Skylar called out when they were a few paces away.

The couple stopped, Allison slowly walking back to her as Henley stood still, frowning and trying to catch Skylar’s eye to silently ask what was going on.

Skylar shot her a reassuring smile before settling her attention on Allison.

She took a silent fortifying breath.

Better now than never.

Goddess.

“What?” Allison stood tall before her, almost intimidating in her blood red ensemble.

She looked powerful. Strong. Like she’d windstrike her into the next century or bench press her a billion times without breaking a sweat. All while maintaining her picture perfect stunningly gorgeous model features that should not even be real. 

She probably never had to use a glamour in her life.

Skylar lowered her voice to a whisper, “How many more are you being merry with?”

Allison stared at her, Skylar fighting against every instinct within her urging her to leave. She refused to back down.

She’d heard rumors.

She hoped they were just rumors.

They had to be rumors.

After a few moments, Allison cracked a small smirk, winking, “You’re not my type, but I’m willing to help a _friend_ with a quick recharge.”

Skylar grit her teeth at the blase attitude, “Do that often?”

“Why do you care?”

“Henley is my friend.”

Allison snorted, “Right.” She stepped closer, her height forcing Skylar to look up, “Didn’t see you as the type to want me to join, but I guess it’s the quiet ones.”

“What?”

“Next time you and Henley have one of your _study sessions,_ let me know _.”_

Her head was spinning, “You...you think I’m...Henley and I are…”

“That you’re sleeping with my girlfriend?” 

Wait, what? “I’m not. We’re not.”

“Right.” complete disbelief. She thought she was lying.

She actually thought Skylar was doing...anything...with Henley?

She thought Henley was anything but one hundred percent committed to Allison?

Henley?

Unless...was Henley...did she...

Did Henley get _quick recharges_ from other people?

Skylar swallowed, throat bobbing as she asked the question that roiled in her mind, “Does Henley know you’re sleeping with other people?”

“We’re witches.” She shook her head like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Like long term monogamous loving relationships weren’t real.

Skylar’s face fell, “You’re serious.”

Oh, Goddess.

She was being honest.

About all of it.

“We all need a quick charge every now and then. It’s just sex.” She moved back, something flashing deep in her eyes, an almost uncomfortable twinge to her step but a sureness in her words, “I’ve seen your shiny mark. You’re a witch. You know how this works.”

Skylar felt like she’d been smacked in the chest with a hammer, “How could you do that to her?”

“Do what?” Allison turned and began to walk back to Henley who was watching them apprehensively, “Have fun in the infirmary, Dobbins. _Happy Beltane_!”

Skylar watched her take Henley’s hand and guide her towards where the rest of the witches were congregating, Henley shooting the fixer one last glance over her shoulder before they were gone. 

Skylar stood there, lost in her thoughts, as a distant drum beat began to sound.

_The music was nothing like she’d ever heard before. It dove into her, racing through her body, threading into her blood, making her head fuzzy and her body heavy yet light as a feather. Her body jumped and spun, sweat beading along her forehead, dripping down her back, yet her heart was calm, steady._

_She felt at peace._

_Like she was where she was meant to be, heading towards who she was supposed to become._

_Who she was supposed to see._

_Her arms spun around her head, her feet skipping across the grass. Bodies danced around her, a hand grazing her back, fingertips waltzing across her arm._

_She had never danced like this._

_She didn’t dance at all._

_Yet, she knew the steps. Knew the rhythm. Knew when to hold on and let go. When to spin into a body and when to shimmy away._

_A force, strong yet invisible, tugged at her mind, whispered in her ear, a low hum, soft yet purposeful._

_She needed to go right._

_She had to go right._

_A flash of brunette hair swept across her vision. Blue hovered for barely a breath, something in her heart telling her to go toward it._

_To catch it._

_A body smashed its way in front of her, blocking the call from view._

_Skylar stumbled back, knocked off course, body twisting and turning clumsily, the force rapidly unwinding, like a string, her as the yo-yo plummeting towards earth._

_She ended up slamming into the arms of another cadet, a girl with a cute smile and black eyes, yellow dress short and sprightly._

_Not a blue eyed brunette._

_But, she’d have to do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major virtual hugs to all of you reading these stories and tons of virtual appreciative hugs to those of you leaving comments. I adore you all.


	5. Painkiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hen, babe.” Allison lifted her hand and smoothed her palm against the oak, “It’s me. Can you open the door, please?”
> 
> No reply.
> 
> “Come on,” she exhaled heavily, “I’m sorry. Please...open the door. I…” Her breath caught in her chest. She cleared her throat, pursing her lips to stop them from trembling, “I need to see you.”

Allison knocked again.

No answer.

Sighing in frustration, she leaned her forehead against the closed door, closing her eyes, fists balling up at her sides.

Why wasn’t Henley answering?

“Hen, babe.” Allison lifted her hand and smoothed her palm against the oak, “It’s me. Can you open the door, please?”

No reply.

“Come on,” she exhaled heavily, “I’m sorry. Please...open the door. I…” Her breath caught in her chest. She cleared her throat, pursing her lips to stop them from trembling, “I need to see you.”

Her throat constricted as silence met her plea. “Sweetheart.”

“Allison?”

The tall woman spun on her heels, quickly swiping away any hint of tears as she saw Henley a few paces away, snug in her favorite sweatshirt with a hole in the arm, frayed sleeves pulled down over her knuckles and the string for the hoodie missing, the hood laying haphazardly around the back of her neck. Hair up in a messy bun, a few stray tendrils falling to frame her face, pen sticking out of the bundle. Eyes as blue as the lake near her family’s summer home, dark and haunting...haunted.

She looked like she did when they would cuddle and watch the snow fall on lazy winter days, Allison’s hand gently stroking Henley’s belly as the younger witch rested her cheek on her shoulder, tilting her head to press light kisses to the length of her throat and the underside of her jaw.

Kisses that arched up into Allison's mouth, hot and wet and gasping, as the older girl's hand drifted lower.

Except, then her eyes shimmered in the sunlight. Her mouth curved into a charmingly crooked grin that made Allison feel like she was floating when it was directed at her. A throaty full bodied laugh that made her feel like...like she could do anything. Be anybody.

Like she could have that life, whatever it was.

Like things were easy.

“Hey,” Allison blinked her eyes clear of the hazy sheen clouding her vision, “Where were you?”

“Out.” Short. No emotion except for a thread of defiance, of muted anger...of depression.

“Out where?”

“Why? Does it matter?”

She clenched her teeth together.

She had been with Skylar.

Allison knew it more than she knew anything else.

“Why are you here, Allison?” Henley folded her arms across her chest, not moving closer.

Allison forced her voice to remain even, “Can we talk inside?”

Away from prying eyes and gossipy ears.

Somewhere...safe.

Henley stared at her.

Allison met her gaze, not hiding from it.

Not this time.

Never again.

“Ok.” Henley finally reluctantly relented. She slid up to the door, stepping into the small space between Allison and the barrier, and unlocked it, pushing it open without another word. 

Henley stepped inside first, flicking on the lights as Allison followed.

Closing the door softly behind her, Allison watched Henley march over to her bed, cleaning off the papers strewn about and closing the textbooks, the necro’s voice firm and cold, “What do you want?”

“You.”

Her shoulders dropped, movements stopping, “Allison.”

“I miss you.” 

Henley slowly turned, books held to her chest, jaw locked but eyes sad, devastated, “ _I’m right here._ Isn’t that what you said?”

Allison curled her fingers into the palm of her hand, “Hen…”

“I know about Treefine.”

The air left the room.

A glacier, frozen and heavy, landed in the pit of Allison’s stomach, awash in roiling painfully paralyzing fear.

A fear she'd never felt before.

She couldn't move.

She could barely breathe.

All she felt was cold.

Pure cold.

Henley’s chin quivered as she tried to keep her voice icy, hard, emotionless, “How many other times have you done that?”

“It’s not…”

Without warning, Henley suddenly launched the books onto the desk, not caring as they smashed into the furniture with an ear splitting bang, the bulky tomes crashing across the surface, sending papers crunching and flying, “Not what? Not you sleeping with someone else? Not you cheating on me?”

“I wasn’t…”

The words tore out of her in a vicious growl, “If you say you didn’t cheat on me, you better walk out that door and never come back. You lied to me. You lied to me!”

Allison rubbed at her eyes, willing away the stinging burn in the backs of the green irises, her throat closing like a hand gripping it and squeezing. She tried to speak, but the words stuck to the roof of her mouth. She sniffled, her chest hurting like someone had reached in and tore it apart.

Henley shook her head in disgust.

“It wasn’t...it didn’t mean anything. It was..it was sex, Hen. It was just sex.”

Henley scoffed, “Get out.”

“Henley.”

“Get out!”

“No!” Allison swallowed roughly, hands shaking, “Please...I…”

“You what?”

“I was doing what I was supposed to!”

A dark humorless chuckle, “You were supposed to cheat on me. I can’t believe this.”

“No,” she took a step forward, stopping when Henley took a step back, “We’re not supposed to be in relationships like this. My mother,”

“Stop,” Henley waved her hands, “Stop, Allison.”

“I didn’t grow up like you, Henley.” she pushed on, a voice in the back of her head telling her this was her only chance, “Witches don’t do this. We don’t...we don’t fall in love and get married and stay together forever. Sex is...sex is fun. It’s a way to get charged up. Release tension. Spend time.”

Henley didn’t look at her, her head continuing to shake in disbelief.

“My mother calls me every week wondering why I’m still with you. Everyone asks about it. It’s weird and confusing and it’s not supposed to be like this. We’re not supposed to be like this.”

“Then, why are you here. Why are you with me?”

“Because I love you!” she shouted, chest heaving. “I love you. You’re...you’re a huge dork. You talk about stuff, and I have no idea what you’re even saying. The first night we met, you randomly left and didn’t come find me till the next morning. And, you showed up with flowers. You left to get me flowers...and you did.” A tear trickled down her cheek, “You’re funny. You’re so damn smart. You..you say I make you feel safe. But...you make me feel free. I don’t...everyone tells me I shouldn’t be like this. I had sex with her, but I make love to you, and maybe you don’t understand it, but it’s different. It’s different for me, and the thought of you not being in my life anymore scares me. It scares me, Henley.” Her voice faltered, “And, I know you’re with Skylar. I see you with her all the damn time.”

“What? You’re jealous?”

“Yes! No!” She waved her arms, “I always thought you’d be here. No matter what happened, you’d be you, and I would be me...and you’d be the one thing that makes sense...that stays.” Tears rolled down her face, “I never heard about love outside of fairy tales until I met you.”

“You can't do this. You did this, Allison. You can’t blame this on your mom or anyone else.”

“I know.” She took a painfully shaky breath, “I’m sorry, Hen. I’m sorry every time I was late or didn’t come over or left because...because I thought that’s what I should do. Because I forgot...I didn’t think about you. I’m sorry.”

Henley wrapped her arms around herself, “You lied to me. You..this doesn’t change what you did. Saying you’re sorry doesn't change that.”

“I know.”

“You slept with someone else. You touched someone else. You kissed her...and held her...and…”

“I never wanted this to happen. I...I never planned for you. When we first met at that party, I thought you were cute and...you’d be fun for the night. But, you...you asked me out. I wanted to have sex with you, and you wanted to give me flowers and walk me home after getting dinner...and you kissed me goodbye and you didn’t stay that first night. But, you kept coming back, and...I wanted you, but I wanted you to keep coming back. I wanted you to stay. I wanted to...I wanted to taste you, feel you, be inside of you...but I also wanted to watch movies with you and count the stars with you. I only wanted you for the night, and you made me want you for forever.”

“You chose someone else. You chose to be with someone else.”

Allison pulled back her shoulders, “We’re not your parents.”

Henley’s eyes flew wide open, startled at the abrupt statement, “What?”

Allison inhaled sharply, “We’re not your parents. You...you always wanted us to be like them, but we’re not. I always hated it. Hated that you kept bringing them up. Kept...kept acting like we were like them. Like we could be like them.”

“Allison,”

“We weren’t. But, I want to be.” Allison got out. “I don’t understand it at all. It was...none of it made sense. Your family doesn’t make sense. You...your parents...you’re the one thing I’ve never understood. Not that part. And, I stopped trying. I was stupid, and I listened to everyone else telling me what a witch does. What a Todd does. What a...a High Atlantic does. _What I do_ . Who I am. Who I am going to be. What I was meant to be.” Her face crumpled, “If that means losing you, I can’t do it anymore. I tried, and I can’t. I want to be _us_. That’s who I want to be. I want to be yours.”

Henley tilted her head back, watery eyes overflowing across her cheeks.

“You might hate me. You...maybe you want to be with Skylar or you already are or...I don’t know. But, I want you. I’ve always wanted you, even when I didn’t know what that meant. I want to make you feel safe. I want to listen to you talk about your mushroom garden and have no idea what you’re saying but you look so happy when you’re talking that all I can think about is how gorgeous your smile is. I want to hold you when you fall asleep. I want to see you when you get promoted to captain and major and whatever rank you want. I...I want to hear your parents’ voice on the other end when I call home, not my mother’s or my fathers’. I want to be like your parents...but as us...like us. Henley and Allison. You and me. _I want to be here._ ”

“Why now?” Henley wept, “Why are you saying this now?”

“Because...you weren’t there. You’ve always been there, Hen. But, you weren’t...and I couldn’t breathe.” 

She had felt like she was dying.

“What...what do you want me to do? What am I supposed to do?”

Allison gulped, “Go on a date with me?”

Henley bit her lip, folding in on herself as she cried.

Allison blindly dug into the pouch strapped to her thigh, still there from training, “Here...I…” she pulled out a slightly wilted and trampled flower, “pretty flower for a pretty girl.”

Henley covered her mouth with her sleeve covered hand.

“It’s not much but...I...I love you. You make me feel in a way I’ve never felt...ever. It’s scary and wonderful and painful and this has to be love, because I have no idea what else it would be. I just know you make me feel it, and I never want it to stop.” She held the stem of the daffodil between her thumb and forefinger, “I won’t pressure you. Your pace. Whatever you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with. But...I’ve tried being someone I’m not. I tried being who I thought I was supposed to be. But, that person isn’t...isn’t someone you love. I want to be the person you love. I want...I want to be happy. I want to fight for you.” She slowly held out the flower, “I want to be your girl again.”

Henley stared at the petals.

“I know not everything is ok. We’re not ok.” Allison whispered, “But, I want to make it ok. If you do.” She licked her lips, “Do you want to try with me? Will you let me try? Will you let me give you a flower and walk you home?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...huh...anyone see that coming? I didn't.


	6. Noble Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wait,” Skylar held a hand up, blinking rapidly as she tried to process what she’d just heard, wondering if the late hour mixed with the exhaustion of it being the day she was stuck doing field exercises from dawn till dusk causing her to hear things.
> 
> Maybe she should have snuck a cup of coffee before finding her way to the nearly empty rec room.
> 
> Or accepted when Henley offered to bring her some energy drinks one of her friends from basic kept stashed away.
> 
> Henley’s voice trailed off, and she shot her a confused frown, “What?”
> 
> Skylar bit the inside of her cheek, not sure she had heard correctly, “You...got into college?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed yet, these stories jump around a bit in the timeline...this one takes place before Painkiller.

“Wait,” Skylar held a hand up, blinking rapidly as she tried to process what she’d just heard, wondering if the late hour mixed with the exhaustion of it being the day she was stuck doing field exercises from dawn till dusk causing her to hear things.

Maybe she should have snuck a cup of coffee before finding her way to the nearly empty rec room.

Or accepted when Henley offered to bring her some energy drinks one of her friends from basic kept stashed away.

Henley’s voice trailed off, and she shot her a confused frown, “What?”

Skylar bit the inside of her cheek, not sure she had heard correctly, “You...got into college?”

“Yes.”

Oh, she had heard that right.

Her lips pressed together, “And, you could afford to go?”

“The witches’ college. The civilian ones...maybe. I think my parents mentioned loans and financial aid, but I got a scholarship to Salem Town College.”

Salem Town College, the first all witch college established after conscription was abolished by a group of former soldiers looking to forge a place for their daughters and their daughters’ daughters to learn trades and skills far away from the obstacle courses and regimented classrooms of Fort Salem. A place they could focus on both Work specializations as well as civilian areas of knowledge, pairing both to provide an education far more in depth than the small one or two faculty members a select few civilian institutions employed to offer broad lectures on witch culture and history.

Lectures that may or may not be entirely accurate and riddled with stereotypes and underlying prejudices.

Skylar’s hand remained aloft, her brows knitted together as she let out a disbelieving breath, “You got a scholarship. To STC.”

Henley got into STC.

On a scholarship.

“Why?” Henley folded her leg further against her chest, scrunching into a smaller ball in the chair in the rec room they camped out in after lights out. She had a warm soft sweatshirt pulled low over her hands, the hood missing the string and hanging limply around her neck. There was a small tear in one of the arms, and the edges around her knuckles were frayed from time and weather.

It looked cozy. Lived in. Like a hug in sweatshirt form.

Skylar dazedly rose to her feet from where she had been lounging on the floor, leaning back on her palms as the duo traded stories and talked about their day. Where Skylar had been nodding along, chiming in every once in a while when Henley would mention something about the death current, not noticing the brunette’s smile growing and her voice drifting away the more Skylar pointed out how fixers somewhat navigated around the current, both specialities traversing the powerful yet invisible course, not necessarily manipulating but working with the ancient stream. Two ship captains guiding their Work at different spectrums of the same plane. 

Skylar ran an unsteady hand over her close cropped hair, chewing the inside of her cheek as she paced a few steps. Her back turned to her friend as she pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth, thoughts and feelings popping up and swirling around in her chest, tickling the back of her throat.

“Sky, what’s going on?”

The fixer turned and finally looked at her, wetting her lips at the concerned blue eyes searching her somewhat gobsmacked face.

A part of her mind nudged her, pointing out how cute she looked, hair up in a messy bun, a pen sticking out haphazardly from the jumbled bundle of wavy locks. The chain of her medal peaked out from beneath the dark blue cotton. There was a softness around her intelligent playful ocean blue eyes when she looked at Skylar, a tenderness around the curve of her mouth that made the other witch feel like her heart had turned into a jackhammer, pounding widely one minute and slamming to a full stop the next. 

But what she just said was crazy.

“You got into college on a scholarship.” 

Henley’s eyebrow rose, “Yeah, I did.”

She said it like it was nothing.

Like she was talking about the weather or reciting a random well known fact - like the sky was blue or snow was cold or Henley could probably drink her bodyweight in tea when she was having a really bad day...if she even took a sip. 

Not that she accomplished something Skylar could only dream of.

And, she didn’t accept it.

Henley...didn’t say yes.

A huff of a chuckle escaped her lips, “What the hell are you even doing here?”

Henley reared back like she’d been slapped, “What?”

Skylar rested her hand against the nape of her neck, rubbing the buzzed hairs along the back of her head, “Henley...what...why are you not at some...college party or something right now?”

Why wasn’t she safely tucked away surrounded by books and making plans to go to the closest Friday night party? Studying for final exams and going to coffee shops and whatever else students at STC did?

Henley stiffly wrapped her arm around her shin, “Because I enlisted.”

Skylar was not understanding any of this.

At all.

It didn’t make any sense.

“You enlisted in the army when you could have been at college. At the top witches’ college in the country. Why would you do that?” Was she insane? This was..stupid. “This is the army, not...summer camp. This isn’t fun or...why…”

This was the army. Where they ran around doing drills so when they got deployed or war was declared, they hopefully didn’t die.

Why would she willingly sign up for this if she didn’t have to?

She chose regulation uniforms and grueling runs and regimented schedules when she could have been chilling on campus playing frisbee or something.

The image of Henley walking along a cobblestone street, cozy in a wool coat and jeans, books clutched in her arms and juggling a cup of coffee as she strolled to class, autumn leaves falling around her, a smile on her face, eyes bright, flashed in her mind.

She looked gorgeous.

She looked happy.

She looked like she belonged there.

Not...not here. 

Not in that uniform.

Not in a sparse rec room hiding from cadets out on guard duty and knowing they would need to be awake with the sun to run drills.

Not with her.

What in the hell would drive Henley to choose to be at Fort Salem?

It made no sense.

It was stupid.

Henley’s eyes turned cold.

Fast.

The temperature in the room plummeted.

Skylar instantly came out of her mini daydream and had to bite back a tiny shiver at the abrupt change.

She felt it in her soul.

Like ice settling in her chest.

Henley’s voice was gruff, solid, no hint of warmth anywhere, “I enlisted because that’s what Ramshorn-Collars do. We serve.”

“You don’t have to serve, Henley. Weren’t your parents around for conscription?” Her parents were forced to serve. It wasn’t an option. Sure, it seemed like something really far away, a blip in the history books, but it was there.

Conscription was gone, though. At least, in the version it had been in.

“My mama continued to serve after that. You should know. She created your _entire program_.” 

Henley was not amused. Skylar could hear it in her voice. See it in the way her shoulders pulled back. The gentleness around her eyes and mouth disappearing.

She was getting angry.

Really angry.

Fast.

Skylar let her arms fall to her sides. Of course she’d heard about Capt. Ramshorn-Collar. Every fixer who went through War College had. But… “Your mama made you enlist?”

“No,” something flashed in her eyes, “it was my choice. My entire family served. My parents. My aunts. Uncle Byron. They kept serving even after conscription ended. Aunt Abi probably gave you a welcome speech during Basic.”

Aunt Abi? 

Maj. Bellweather.

Shit.

Packing that away for later.

“I...don’t understand, Hen.”

A shrug, “I wanted to serve. Like every single person in my family has. It’s what we do.”

“Yeah, because they had to.” She shook her head critically, “That’s...just because your family served doesn’t mean…”

“Yes, it does!” Henley’s voice rose. She practically leapt to her feet, hands curling into fists at her side, “Why can’t anyone understand that?”

Goddess.

Ok, Henley was really upset now.

Skylar took a step back, hands now raised to calm down her friend, “Henley…”

“No,” Henley’s shoulders tensed, her jaw clenching, “You out of anyone should understand why I’m here. You chose to enlist, too. My entire family spent their careers in the army. _Their entire careers._ They served in the War. They...they helped rebuild the entire army afterward. My mom did so much during the War. My mama rebuilt your entire specialty. She ran everything. She only stopped because...because of me.” She jabbed her finger into her chest, “I belong here. I am top of my class, Sky. Top of my class. I am going to make them proud whether you think I can or not. I am going to do that.”

“Whoa, Hen. Hey.” Skylar soothed, “Slow down.”

This was spiraling out of control quickly, and Skylar had no idea where any of this was coming from.

She had never seen Henley get this worked up this quickly.

Or this worked up at all.

Henley shook her head, marching toward the door, “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

“Hey, no. Stop.” Skylar lunged, grabbing her wrist, “Henley, stop!”

Henley glared at her, “Why? So you, too, can tell me that I made a mistake? That I’m not good enough?”

“Who told you that?”

Not good enough? That was impossible.

She’d seen the kinds of things Henley could do. Had heard her talk about necromancy.

She was more than good enough.

Goddess, she was way more than good enough.

Henley’s chin quivered, “I am going to serve. I am going to make my parents proud. My mama. My...my mom. Everyone. This is what I’ve always been going to do. Wear this uniform. Always.”

“Ok,” Skylar swallowed, “Ok.”

“Goddess, I thought you’d understand.” She huffed, “At least Allison gets it.”

“I’m sure she does.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

Skylar sighed, “Nothing.”

“No, tell me.”

Skylar grit her teeth, “It means Allison is exactly the type of high and mighty blaster who the army loves.” She exhaled loudly, “Do you hear yourself right now?”

“You enlisted, too.” 

“You think I _want_ to be here?” 

Henley’s face dropped, “What?”

Skylar let go of her wrist, both of their arms swaying to rest at their sides, “I didn’t apply to college. No way I could afford it, and I wasn’t good enough to get a scholarship or anything.” She wet her lips, “I..I planned to serve a few years and get out. Go through the program, learn how to be a fixer, and hopefully get a job somewhere afterward.”

Henley seemed to deflate, “Oh.”

“It’s not a big deal. I’m not the only one.” Skylar rubbed her palms along the outside of her thighs thighs, “Is what it is. They pay me to be here for a few years. Keep my head down. Hopefully get deployed somewhere safe. Then, get a discharge and find a clinic or something.” 

Get the hell out as quickly as possible.

Not end up like the fellow soldiers her own family had talked about in grave somber gritty tones.

Her family sought a discharge as soon as they could. They weren’t wealthy, but they weren’t stuck in a job that would get them killed.

“Sky,”

She crossed her arms, “You’re going to be career?”

Henley nodded.

Skylar’s heart sank.

“Shit, Hen.” she whistled slowly. “That’s…” 

That was a lot.

That was a long time.

That was giving up her life for...for this. For people that yelled at them and didn’t give a damn if they were happy or sad or anything other than doing their job.

“It’s what I want. What I’ve always wanted. Ever since I can remember.” Ever since she was little and saw photos of her family in their uniforms. Played make-believe in her mama’s old boots and dress blues. Listened to her aunts talk about their work, the places they visited, the adventures they got up to. “With Allison here, it made perfect sense.”

“You enlisted because of your girlfriend?”

“No, not completely. It helped. She told me what Basic was like. What to expect.”

“Why didn’t your parents tell you?”

Because they didn’t want her to enlist, evidently. “They just didn’t. Not at first. Mama made me train before I got here. Well, I think Mom made her. We did a lot of running.”

Skylar eyed her, seeing the sliver of sadness, of pain in her gaze. “Hen, it’s not really my place to say so, but I’m...sure your parents are proud of you no matter what. Getting into STC is big. Getting a scholarship? That’s...that’s really impressive.”

“But, it’s not what I wanted.” She took a breath, “I’m good at what I do. I’m good.”

“I know,” she wasn’t lying when she said she was top of her class. Necromancy came easily to her. It was almost eerie how powerful she could be sometimes. Not in a bad way. It was...special. She was special.

Unique.

Smart and able to do things higher ranking officers couldn’t do.

She’d rise through the ranks, for sure.

Not like Skylar.

She’d be lucky to make Corporal.

“What?”

Skylar shook her head, “I...you got into STC, Henley. You turned that down. Do you know how many of us would do anything to get that?” She lifted her palm when Henley opened her mouth, “I...I am hearing what you’re saying. About your family. I...I just...you’re so smart. And powerful. I don’t know how anyone couldn’t be proud of you. I really don’t. And, the way you act like...like STC isn’t a big deal, when it is? That’s...Henley…”

Henley threw away her chance, and it was like she didn’t care.

She threw away a future for...this.

A future any witch would beg to get.

“It’s not a big deal because I was never going to go.” She shrugged, “My parents wanted me to.”

“Henley, do you have any idea how lucky you are?”

Henley blinked.

“You got into STC. Your parents wanted you to go...and...you enlisted. You say you enlisted to make them proud but...they wanted you to go to college.”

“You don’t get it.”

“Then, tell me.” she licked her lips, “Because, you’re really...really great. You don’t _have_ to be here.”

Henley took a breath, then another, lips pursing and hands clasping together, her weight shifting from one leg to another, “I thought this was what they wanted.”

“Who?”

“My mama and mom. They never talked about their service...but I thought they didn’t want to pressure me.” Her mouth twitched, “I thought they’d be happy.”

Skylar stayed silent, watching the emotions flicker across her face.

“They were so mad. I’ve never seen them so mad. I wanted this, though. I knew I could prove to them….that…” she lifted her shoulders and let them fall, “I fit here.” She sniffled, “Everyone can see that...that I fit. I can put on that uniform and earn those stripes and…”

Skylar spoke up after her voice puttered off, “And now?”

Henley gave her a little smile, “I fit here, Sky. I _want_ to be here. I like it here.”

“Ok,” she rocked on the balls of her feet. 

Ok.

Shit.

Skylar bit the inside of her cheek hard when warm fingers laced with her own, “I...know you don’t want to be here. I’m sorry you have to do something you don’t want to, be somewhere you… you don’t want to be. But, you’re a really good fixer, Sky. Really good. I’ve seen a lot of fixers at my mama’s clinic, and you’re just as good as them.”

“Being here isn’t horrible.” A crooked grin, “I’m glad I got to meet you. Even if you tell the worst jokes.”

“Hey! My jokes are funny!”

“And, I have to keep patching you up. You are seriously the clumsiest person I’ve ever met. Thank goddess necros don’t go near the battlefield.”

Henley could only shake her head in exasperation.

“I support you, ok?” Skylar gave a tiny nod, “No matter what.” She swung their linked hands lightly.

She still wasn’t fully understanding, wasn’t anywhere close to completely realizing what was rattling around in her head, but she cared about Henley. 

She’d be there for Henley.

Henley bit her lip, glancing down at their hands.

“What?”

Henley sighed, “Nothing.” She raised their joined hands, “You have fixer hands.”

Skylar quirked an eyebrow, “I’m a fixer.”

“It’s more than that. You…” she squeezed, “I wish you got to go to college, but I’m happy I met you, too.”

They shared a smile.

Skylar’s grin sparkled a bit, “Well, I’ve heard the army has the best fixer program anywhere anyways.”

“Yeah. The woman who created it is a bit of a weirdo.”

“Family trait?” She winked when Henley’s opened her mouth to reply, “It’s ok. I like weird.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...huh. What does this all mean?


	7. Quiet Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was so quiet.
> 
> She never really liked the quiet before.
> 
> Now, she hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, we are back to taking place during Last Call.
> 
> Hi Allison!

_She was nervous._

_She never got nervous._

_But, here she was, an unfamiliar anxiety rushing through her veins, causing her feet to shuffle and her belly to feel like her insides were jumbled and tangled in a tossing turning mess._

_She plucked at the ends of her jacket sleeves, double checking that her scourge was securely fastened at her hip and the hem of her shirt was neatly tucked in, her jacket settling across her shoulders and no specks of dirt or dust leftover from her training session out in the fields, conjuring up windstorms and demolishing rocks with the power of nature itself._

_Brushing her hand down the length of her jacket, smoothing it out, she chanced a glance up at the necro building._

_Henley, in the middle of a group of soldiers, clad in their lab whites, meandered out of the suddenly appearing entrance, exchanging some words with her counterparts, hands gesturing as she explained something, the others nodding along._

_Allison inhaled sharply, forcing herself to stop moving and let her hands drop casually to her sides. She waited, watching the group head towards her._

_It took a few moments, but Henley finally spotted her, eyebrows scrunching in surprised confusion and her mouth dropping open slightly before snapping shut._

_Allison silently ordered herself to calm down. Remain collected. Casual. Unaffected._

_Not show how her entire body felt like she was tumbling head over heels down a hill, unable to stop._

_Henley blinked, returning her eyes to the person she had been talking to, seeming to debate if she was going to go over to where Allison was standing or not._

_For one brief second, Allison wondered if she would walk away._

_Her chest seized up at the thought, and she choked slightly._

_She didn’t even know she was clenching her jaw until she felt a twinge from her teeth._

_Green eyes watched as Henley nodded at her fellow necros and waved them away before slowly walking over to Allison, a hesitancy in her steps._

_“Hi.” Allison greeted when she drew near._

_“What are you doing here?” Blue eyes filled with a hint of challenge in a swirl of coldness and a trickle of pain. “Don’t you have training? Or friends to meet up with?”_

_Allison accepted the harsh tone, “No. I,” she cleared her throat, her voice actually squeaking, “I was wondering if I could walk with you to your next class.”_

_“What if I don’t have a class?”_

_“I’ll walk with you anywhere.”_

_She sighed, lips pressing together and face falling slightly as she flexed her fingers, “Allison,”_

_“You can say no.” She tried to not fidget, “But, I meant it. I’m here. I want to be here. I want to be with you. I’ll be right here every day asking to walk with you. Whenever you’re ready.”_

_“What if I don’t want you to?”_

_She couldn’t hold in the flinch, though she bravely tried to hide it, “Is that what you want?”_

_Henley pressed her fingertips against her temple, rubbing them just above her brow._

_“Because, if it is...ok. But, if there’s a chance, I’m going to do everything I can. I told you I’ll fight for you. However you’ll let me. If you don’t want to walk with me, maybe I can meet you for dinner later. Or after. I can get you some tea, and we can talk.”_

_“We don’t talk.”_

_“We used to.” Her leg bounced._

_“Until I sleep with you again?”_

_“No,” her throat bobbed, “Before, during, after, all the time. I want to talk all the time with you.”_

_“Why should I believe you? How can I trust you? You lied to me, Allison. After everything. You...you lied. You hurt me. You kept hurting me. Why would I think you’re telling the truth now?”_

_“I don’t know.” She admitted, pausing before plunging all in, “I know that I’ve never been more scared than I am right now. I don’t get scared, Hen. But, I am.” She blew out a breath, “I was told, a couple times, that pretty girls should be walked home. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. I’d like to walk you home.”_

_Her throat hurt, a lump the size of a boulder grinding down._

_She wasn’t lying when she said she had never been this scared. Not when she enlisted. Not during her first day at Fort Salem. Not when she participated in Citydrop._

_She was never scared._

_But she could barely stand still right now._

_“Damn it, Allison.” Henley huffed._

_Allison blinked and frowned._

_The younger witch grabbed her sleeve and steered her toward the path the group had disappeared down, “We’re going to collect samples.”_

_“Sounds fun.”_

_“No, it doesn’t.”_

_“Sounds dirty.”_

_“Do not make a joke.”_

_“A joke? Where’s your head at Ramshorn-Collar?”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“You’re the one talking about us going to the woods and getting dirty.”_

_“You can go back to trying to be charming any time.”_

_“You’re the charming one.”_

_“Guess you better work harder at it.”_

It was so quiet.

She never really liked the quiet before.

Now, she hated it.

Allison stood in the middle of Henley’s room. It was just how the younger girl left it. Piles of books stacked up on her desk, nearly spilling over onto the floor. Her necro flag hung proudly next to the corkboard. Bed made just enough to pass any inspection but not winning any awards. 

She swallowed thickly, urging her hands not to shake. 

She just wanted to grab some books. Henley would want her books. 

She didn’t know which ones to grab.

She stared at the piles, some with scraps of paper marking different pages, some torn up, weathered with age and use, some with the binder facing her, others strewn about with only yellow page edges visible.

Henley would want all of them.

She’d think all of them were important for different reasons.

She’d be able to explain why. Point out which chapter mattered. Where the author had discovered something interesting. Where the writer was wrong.

Be an adorable nerd.

Be Henley.

Her gaze drifted from the books to the corkboard. A handful of photos were tacked up there. Henley with her Unit. Henley and her parents.

Henley and her.

Her lips trembled, and she pursed them, holding back the rush of emotion.

It was from her graduation. Henley had surprised her. Shown up. Was in the stands when she flipped her medal over to see she was going to War College. Appeared like some dream out of nowhere with a hug and a fistful of flowers and a proud adoring smile.

Held her hand the entire day.

Even when Allison’s mother showed up, tall and regal and disapproving.

Even when Allison’s Unit showed up, casting sideways glances and smirking, unspoken snide comments about the weirdness of Allison _being with_ someone. Being _only_ with someone.

Henley showed up.

_Allison tugged Henley’s hand, steering her along the well worn path, ducking and weaving around groups of witches and their families happily chatting and taking in the warm spring air._

_“Where are we going?” Henley asked, a tiny giggle escaping her pink lips._

_Allison spun around, hand going to her girlfriend’s cheek as Henley crashed into her, catching her mouth in a hungry kiss. Her eyes slammed shut at the way her chest ached like it never had before. Ached and stuttered and wanted to burst with emotions because it had been so long since she’d seen Henley, since she was able to touch her, hear her voice, taste the sweetness of her tongue, and set loose the fire inside of her._

_Henley leaned into her, fingers tangling blindly in the blue wool of her uniform, a small whimper humming against the older witch’s lips. She pressed in closer, Allison threading her fingers in her hair, palming the back of her head and angling her own to deepen the embrace._

_All Allison could think about, all she could feel, all that existed was the girl in her arms._

_She normally didn’t care about a crowd. About an audience. Never worried about eyes or ears or being bashful about what and who she wanted._

_But, it had been months, and Henley was there._

_Henley was there._

_And she didn’t want to share her with anyone else._

_Didn’t want to share this moment with anyone else._

_Because, damn it, she missed Henley and she was right there, and if she kept kissing her she might cry._

_Allison Todd didn’t cry._

_A stern throat cleared, the noise somehow breaking through the haze that had descended upon the couple. Allison broke the kiss slowly, the tip of her nose touching Henley’s, her green eyes opening enough to watch delicate lashes flutter like a butterfly’s wings before she glanced over Henley’s shoulder._

_Her mother stood there._

_Frowning._

_Stepping back, Allison straightened her stance, instantly reverting to the perfect picture of High Atlantic elegance, shoulders back, spine tall, and face polite yet unaffectedly unreadable, “Mother.”_

_“Allison, dear.” the silver haired woman greeted blandly, “Congratulations on your graduation. Your fathers and I are extremely proud of you.”_

_“Thank you,” Allison felt Henley shift beside her, lacing their fingers and firmly holding on, “You remember Henley.”_

_“Yes, of course.” her mother offered the brunette a cursory glance, “How are your mothers?”_

_“They’re good.” Henley replied._

_“Send my best to Capt. Collar.”_

_Henley bristled, “I’ll let my mom and mama know you wish the Ramshorn-Collars the best.”_

_A demure smirk, “Of course. Thank you.” She focused on Allison, “A word, please.” She didn’t look at Henley, “Would you mind giving me a moment with my daughter?”_

_Henley remained standing at Allison’s side._

_Allison peeked at Henley, “It’s fine. Can you go find Ravensburg? I think she was talking with Treefine.”_

_Henley didn’t move, searching Allison’s face, “I’m good here.”_

_She wasn’t leaving Allison._

_Allison bit her lip, knowing any other time she would try harder to send Henley away._

_But, she didn’t want to._

_She didn’t want to let her go._

_“Henley!” Abigail Bellweather’s voice boomed from a handful of yards away. Her medals glimmered in the sunlight, a smile crossing her face at the sight of her niece._

_The Todd matriarch glared at the Bellweather, disdain clear in the pinch of her lips._

_Henley silently sighed, “Ok. Ten minutes and I’m coming to find you.”_

_Allison nodded, accepting the kiss on the cheek and watching Henley slowly walk away._

_“You’re still with her.”_

_Allison bit her tongue, “She’s my girlfriend.”_

_A cluck, “She’s beneath you.”_

_Allison’s head whipped around with a glare._

_“You are not a child anymore. I indulged your whims while you were in school, wanting to stay close to that family, stay in that neighborhood, waste your time with that girl, but you’re an adult now. How do you expect to have any sort of standing when you flaunt our traditions? Our way of life? And for someone not even of your same level.”_

_“Don’t talk about her like that.”_

_The frown turned into a cold sneer, “You are a Todd. You are a witch. Your bloodline runs back to when Sarah Alder signed the Accord. Your ancestors served at her side. Do you think the Bellweathers are acting like this? The Treefines? How do you expect to rise through the ranks by attaching yourself to one person...one person whose parents are little more than an aberration? Do you see your Unit acting like this?”_

_“I love her.”_

_“Love?” she snorted, “You don’t know what love is. It’s sex, Allison. It’s power. It’s continuing the line. It’s maintaining your place in the world. It’s strength. It’s how you do your job as a blaster. You’ve always known this. Next you’ll tell me you’re not going fucking anyone else but that girl, whose parents almost ruined this family, who are nothing, and you’ll be handfasted. Don’t insult me, Allison. Stop trying to pretend like you’re one of them. Don’t throw away everything because those people put foolish ideas in your head about how our world works.”_

Sniffling, she pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, mentally yelling at herself to stop it.

She wasn’t going to cry.

Not again.

Because, if she did, she wouldn’t stop.

Her breaths spluttered, and she clenched her jaw so tight her teeth ached, her head throbbing and the backs of her eyes burning.

Goddess.

Damn it.

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” she whispered to herself, repeating the mantra over and over.

It was fine.

Henley was going to be fine.

“Fuck.” she ripped her hands away, tilting her head back. 

She couldn’t cry.

She was there to get Henley’s books.

She had to get her books.

A sob choked her, a lump forming in the back of her throat. Allison slammed a fist to her mouth, holding it in. Pushing it back.

Why hadn’t she been there?

_Henley sighed, reached out and grasped her wrists, “I...it feels like…”_

_“Like what?”_

_“Like I never see you.” Henley admitted._

Biting down on her fist, she stumbled to the bed, legs giving out as she reached the edge. She collapsed onto it, knees curling to her chest as her boots hooked onto the side, the pain from her teeth sinking into her skin not even registering against the agony clawing at her heart.

She hadn’t been there. 

She was in class. Reading some stupid book. Listen to her instructor drone on and on about nothing while Henley was getting blown up.

She buried her face into her legs.

She was so stupid.

What had she been thinking?

She was supposed to keep Henley safe.

She made Henley feel safe.

_The room was warm, hazy, laughter and voices melding together in a low buzz._

_Henley tilted into Allison, a lazy grin brushing against the girl’s throat, “Hi.”_

_Allison peeked down at her, meeting dazed blue eyes, “Hey.”_

_“Hi.”_

_“Hi.” She chuckled softly, “You’re drunk.”_

_“No, ‘m not.” She nuzzled closer._

_Allison cradled her in her arms, “Tired?”_

_A nod, “No.”_

_That’s a yes._

_And if she was falling asleep, she was way past cute rambling adorable Henley drunk._

_She was - about to pass out and not move for seven hours but still look adorable - drunk._

_“Close your eyes, baby.”_

_“The party…”_

_“I’ll get you back.” She kissed the top of her head, “I’ll keep you safe.”_

_“I know.” she breathed out, words drifting away as her heartbeat began to slow._

_Inhaling deeply, Allison looked around at the soldiers in the dorm room, tipsy and red faced from the bottles of alcohol snuck in after Beltane. She caught the eye of one of the cadets, an inviting eyebrow ticking up with a seductive smirk._

_Allison felt Henley tuck into her further, arm thrown across her body, sliding down to rest over her hips._

_Blinking, she turned away from the other girl, smiling softly at the sleeping cadet. Nodding to herself, she carefully scooped the shorter woman into her arms, holding her close. With a tender kiss to her brow, Allison began to carry her out of the room, not paying attention to the curious looks and whispered comments._

Henley was supposed to be ok.

She was a necro.

They didn’t go near battlefields or fights or anything dangerous. They...they grew mushroom gardens and made deathcaps appear and...and...they didn’t jump into an explosion and end up in comas and not wake up.

Blasters did that.

Allison was supposed to do that.

Not Henley.

Never Henley.

She wasn’t there, and Henley got hurt.

Allison bit her tongue hard enough to taste copper.

This was her fault.

If she had been there...if she knew what was happening...if she hadn’t been so stupid and listened to Henley. If she hadn’t listened to everyone else.

She thought there was time.

She thought Henley would always be there.

They’d be ok.

She didn’t think it would hurt so much to see Henley cry because of her.

She didn’t think it would hurt so much to see Henley’s parents standing there over their daughter knowing that...if she had been smarter...if she’d spent more time with Henley instead of with anyone else…

Henley’s parents hugged her.

They hugged her, and she hurt Henley.

They should hate her.

Henley needed her, and she wasn’t there.

She was never there.

Her mind spiraled through the memories, moments flashing in her mind.

Henley’s frown when Allison was late.

The way Henley’s face dropped while Allison shrugged on her shirt, the clock not yet reading midnight, sheet drawn up to the brunette’s bare chest, the spot next to her empty because Allison wasn’t staying.

The mindless conversations with the families her mother would approve of, the families she grew up with, when she should have been walking with Henley to the younger girl’s next lecture, when she could have stolen kisses against the large oak tree near the infirmary, tugged her away from the Necro building for a quick embrace. 

All the meals she missed sitting with Henley at. All the nights she didn’t seek her out. The times she brushed off whatever Henley wanted to do.

Every single time she could have been with her.

Every single moment she wished more than anything to have back.

Have another chance to put a smile on her face. Hear her ramble on about how the Odyssey was stupid, Samhain was underrated, under-appreciated, misunderstood, and what it felt like to interact with the death current, something like the waves of power that formed when Allison created storms but slightly different...unique. Listen as she spoke with her parents on the telephone in the hallway of the barracks, hearing Raelle shout out a greeting to Allison while Scylla laughed and told Henley to say hi for them in a slightly more civilized way. Hold her close, feel the way her heart beat under her lips, the way Henley gripped her hair as Allison nibbled the inside of her thigh, the way her fingers tangled with her own.

Allison began to rock back and forth, locking her hands against the back of her head, trying to take deep breaths but barely able to suck in a short gasp of air.

She never kept Henley safe.

She never made her happy.

Now, Henley was hurt and not there and Allison didn’t know what to do.

She wasn’t a fixer. She didn’t know how to heal her. How to make any of it better.

She didn’t know what to do.

She didn’t know.

Just like she didn’t know which books to take.

She didn’t know anything.

A gentle hand appeared against her back, causing the sobs to finally fully break through, the last stretch of control snapping at the tenderness lain between her shoulder blades.

The young witch crumpled into strong steady arms, curling into the comfort. Tears rolled down her cheeks, unstoppable, her entire body shaking, large loud cries tearing out of her chest, out of her heart.

“You’re ok. You’re ok.” a soothing voice whispered into her hair.

A caring loving hand touched her leg, rising up to brush through her braids, the tenderness causing her to cry even harder.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” she wept.

“Shh, you’re ok. It’s ok.”

She shook her head.

No, it wasn’t. 

It wasn’t ok.

A hand took her own, and she held onto it like it was the last thing holding her to this world.

“I don’t...I can’t…”

“You’re ok, Allison. You’re ok.”

Sniffing, she recognized Raelle’s voice mumbling against the crown of her head.

“Her books.” All she could think of in that exact moment was that Henley wanted her books, “I don’t...I don’t know which ones. She wants her books, and I don’t know which ones.”

She didn’t know.

“Can I tell you a secret? I don’t either.” Raelle rubbed her shoulder, “Good thing we got a weird necro who knows about that sort of stuff.”

The hand holding hers squeezed, Scylla’s voice trying to match her wife’s light tone, “Let’s take a look, ok?”

Allison could only nod, like a little kid, coaxed out of a tantrum by the adults in the room.

Scylla carefully helped her to her feet, leading her over to the messy desk, “If we can even find the books. She got this from Raelle.”

Raelle pitched her voice with a touch of humor, “Hey, who was the one who cleaned the dishes?”

“Glory.” Scylla shot back.

“I helped.”

Allison bit her lip, staring at the piles.

Scylla nodded at a short stack of thin books, “Those would be good ones.”

“Thanks.” Allison carefully picked up the books. She finally looked at both women.

The lightness they were trying to exude was not present in their eyes.

There was a devastation lurking in their posture, hovering around them both in the drop of their mouths and the dark shadows outlining their eyes.

“If you want to take those to Hen...we...we might stay here for a bit.” Scylla offered her a small encouraging smile. Raelle sat on the bed, staring off at the far wall.

“Ok,” Allison hugged the books close and moved to leave. 

As she slowly walked toward the door, she chanced another look at the Ramshorn-Collars.

Raelle hadn’t moved, not even blinking, staring at nothing.

Scylla stood near the desk, reverently touching the cover of one of the books, staring down at the assortment of pens and papers.

They were quiet.

Allison opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t know what to say.

She always hated the quiet.

_Allison slipped on her boots as Henley stood near her, an addictive smile and adorably endearing lip bite luring the witch back in for another kiss._

_“You’re gorgeous.” Allison murmured against her mouth, “So gorgeous.”_

_Henley twisted the taller girl’s shirt in her fingers, ducking her head as they pulled apart, cheeks flushing prettily, “Let me walk you home?”_

_“As much as I would love to have you come over,” Allison caught her for another kiss, “it’s late.”_

_“I can handle it.”_

_“You’re also not wearing any pants.”_

_Henley blinked, “Oh.”_

_Allison chuckled, “Yeah.” She pecked the corner of her mouth, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”_

_“We’re getting ice cream.” Henley nodded, “I don’t know what your favorite flavor is, yet.”_

_“Is that important?”_

_“Very.”_

_“Ok.” She shrugged on her jacket, “Ice cream it is.”_

_Henley pulled her in for one last kiss, “Bye.”_

_“Bye,” Allison turned around._

_To come face to face with Raelle Ramshorn-Collar._

_The girl took a slightly startled step back, blinking rapidly at the woman suddenly standing in the front doorway._

_She hadn't heard the door open._

_Raelle stared at them, eyes squinting, ticking back and forth between the two teenagers._

_The silence was deafening._

_After what seemed like forever but was probably a few seconds, Raelle called over her shoulder, “Hey Scyl! Can you come here?”_

_“Why?” Scylla walked up behind her, juggling the keys and her purse in her hands._

_“I want to make sure we’re at the right house. It’s so shiny I can’t see anything.”_

_Scylla’s smack to her stomach was swift, “Hi Henley, Allison.”_

_Henley groaned while Allison relaxed, “Hey, Mrs. Ramshorn-Collar.”_

_“Let me use your glasses, babe.”_

_“I thought you didn’t wear glasses.” Scylla walked around the girls, lightly touching Henley’s arm in greeting._

_“That was before I was blinded by my daughter’s shiny as hell mark.”_

_“Not how glasses work, Rae. Hen, put on some pants, please.”_

_“Mom. Mama.” Henley sighed heavily._

_“Scylla, do we still have some of that moonshine? I’m already blind, might as well be drunk.”_

_“Leave them alone, Raelle. Hen, your mama is just upset because we actually stayed for the entire show.”_

_Raelle picked at her bowtie, “I couldn’t even get a drink during intermission because the line was so long. Hen, the thing had an intermission. Allison, you’re going to that thing, next time.”_

_“Don’t listen to her, she liked it. She cried during the sad part,” Scylla’s voice called from the stairwell._

_“I did not.”_

_“A dust cloud did not suddenly descend upon the inside of the theater, Raelle.”_

_“If you had your glasses, you would have seen it.” She turned to Allison, “My wife is the one who cried.”_

_“Raelle!”_

_Raelle rolled her eyes but brushed past the couple, heading towards her wife, “I want to ask them about the movie they watched. Hen said they were going to watch a movie while we were out.”_

_“You could do that. Or, you could stop messing with that bowtie and come with me.”_

_Raelle’s hands dropped from the now crooked bowtie, and she picked up her pace, “Yes, ma’am.”_

_Henley was bright red as her parents disappeared up the stairs, stuck between being mortified and amused._

_Allison glanced from where the older couple had been to her girlfriend, “You’re parents are…”_

_“Weird, I know.”_

_Allison shook her head, “It’s...weird, yeah.” She still didn’t quite understand it. Understand how they seemed so...happy. It was weird but...it didn’t seem...wrong. Her eyes softened as she continued to look at Henley, her stomach swooping at how cute she looked with her face red, tousled hair drifting over her eyes, “Different.”_

_As if they had a mind of their own, her fingers gently twirled the loose locks, carefully tucking them behind Henley’s ear, her thumb unconsciously rubbing along a heated cheek._

_Henley bit her lip, mouth curving up happily charmed, “Yeah. Don’t worry. They like you.”_

_For some reason, that made Allison happy. It shouldn’t matter. But, it did. Just like it mattered that Henley was ok, that, even though she really wanted to touch Henley, she had promised that she wouldn’t pressure her, no matter how much she wanted to, “Are you sure…”_

_“Yes,” Henley sidled up to her, tugging on the lapels of her jacket, “I was sure. I know it’s not a big deal for you but…”_

_“Hey,” she cupped her face, “It was.”_

_She wasn’t lying._

_She had sex before. She’d been with other girls._

_It never felt like this._

_She tried not to think about that, but, seeing the way blue eyes looked at her, she couldn’t help but let it shine through for a brief moment, “You’re different, Henley. In a good way. I like it. I like you.”_

_Henley bit her lip, “You can stay.” She gave a tiny shrug, “You can stay here with me. You don’t have to go home tonight.”_

_Allison felt something flutter in her chest._

_For the first time after sex, she really wanted to stay._

_She didn’t want to go._

_That thought alone should be scary._

_It might have been, if she allowed herself to really think about it._

_But, she didn’t._

_She really didn’t want to think about anything but the girl in front of her._

_“Ok.” fell from her lips before she even registered she was speaking._

_Henley’s eyes sparkled, “Yeah?”_

_“Yeah. I’m here.” Allison nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...would you look at that. Huh.


	8. Sober Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you doing here?”
> 
> Skylar paused at the door to the infirmary. Her weary brown eyes drifted over to see Allison standing off to the side, arms crossing over her chest and eyes hard, like glittering flints of jade, cutting and disgusted.
> 
> Allison didn’t know if she wanted to windstrike her or break down and cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place AFTER Last Call

_Allison slowly ran her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair, lazily stroking down the length of the strands, brushing back a few from her forehead. Henley nuzzled into her chest, eyes closed and chest rising and fall gently as she slept. The tv played some sitcom Allison didn’t really know or care about, but the movie had ended, and she didn’t want to get up to change the channel._

_That meant waking Henley._

_Henley, who looked adorable asleep, arm wrapped around Allison’s waist and pressed into her side._

_Allison was fine right where she was._

_She leaned back into the couch cushions, not even wondering when she went from pursuing parties while preparing for Fort Salem, looking to indulge a bit in the available girls in town while waiting to take the oath, to this. Instead of trying to charm her way into staying at her family's summer home on the Cape, she was cuddled up with her girlfriend after watching a movie, only a few lazy kisses exchanged before Henley nodded off, tired after a long week of school projects._

_A slight shuffling pricked her ears, and Allison lifted her head, looking toward the sound._

_Raelle Ramshorn-Collar appeared in the entryway, shrugging out of her jacket as Scylla Ramshorn-Collar walked in behind her, dropping a set of keys in the bowl near the door that she shut behind her with a muted click._

_“It’s not my fault.” Raelle grumbled, hanging up her coat and toe-ing off her shoes._

_Scylla hummed, slipping out of her boots and jacket, “Sure, honey.”_

_“It’s not.” Raelle took her jacket, hanging it up for her._

_“You told Abigail the reservation was at 11 when it was at 1.”_

_“She was going to arrive early anyway.”_

_“Two hours, Rae.”_

_“I was distracted.” She snagged Scylla’s hand, bringing it to her mouth and pressing a kiss to her knuckles, “Not my fault you’re so pretty.”_

_Scylla quirked an eyebrow, “Uh huh.”_

_“My wife was standing there looking sexy as hell, and you expect me to listen to Bellweather?” Raelle tugged her close, wrapping her arms around her, “Have you met my wife?”_

_Scylla casually laced her arms over her shoulders, “No, can’t say that I have.”_

_“Prettiest gal around.” Raelle dipped in, kissing her gently, “Sexy...smart...beautiful...doesn’t know when our anniversary is, though.”_

_“You’re an idiot.” Scylla smiled against her mouth._

_“Got you to marry me.”_

_“Moment of insanity.”_

_“You do drive me crazy.”_

_She caressed the nape of her neck, “I’m just using you for sex.”_

_“Great sex.”_

_“Eh,” Scylla shrugged, “maybe when you still did pushups every morning.”_

_“I heard no complaints last night.”_

_“You fell asleep by 9 last night.”_

_“Didn’t hear any complaints.”_

_Scylla rolled her eyes and lightly pushed her away, “Go find our daughter.”_

_“So bossy.” Raelle turned, pausing as she spotted Allison and Henley._

_The blonde blinked, tilting her head curiously, “Hey Scyl, when did we get the second kid?”_

_“What?” Scylla was walking towards the kitchen._

_“I swear I only remember knocking you up once.”_

_“Do you remember how to tell time, too?”_

_“I was distracted! Maybe if you weren’t so beautiful, we wouldn’t have this problem.”_

_“You’re the one who married this problem.”_

_“Hell yeah, I did.” Raelle looked over her shoulder, “I love you.”_

_Scylla’s exasperated exhale could be heard from the kitchen, “Love you, too.”_

_Raelle grinned happily, walking into the living room, “Hey, Green Eyes.”_

_Allison smiled politely at her girlfriend’s mama, a bit thrown by the playful exchange, “Hi, Mrs. Ramshorn-Collar.”_

_Raelle glanced at Henley, still asleep, “I see my child is being the perfect host.”_

_Allison chuckled lightly, “It’s fine. I should be going, anyway.”_

_“No rush. Feel free to stick around. Scylla’s probably calling upon the forces of the underworld. It gets wild.”_

_“Or, she’s making a snack.” Scylla popped into the room, “Hi, Allison.”_

_“Hey, Mrs. Ramshorn-Collar.”_

_“What are you watching?” Raelle asked, looking at the television._

_Allison shrugged, “A show.”_

_“Ah.”_

_“You can leave if you want to, but you are more than welcome to stay.” Scylla directed at the teenager. “I already have two kids, one more isn’t a problem.”_

_“You’re so mean.” Raelle mumbled._

_Scylla pecked her cheek, “Pushups.”_

_“I’m retired!”_

_Scylla turned to Allison, “Do you like tea?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Come on. Henley won’t wake up for a while. I was about to make some. Unless, you need to get home.”_

_“I can stay.” Allison found herself actually wanting to._

_“Thank goddess, I thought we’d have to talk about mushrooms or something.” Raelle smirked._

_“Why haven’t I divorced you yet?” Scylla shot her a look._

_“The sex.”_

_“Sure, honey.” Scylla patted her chest, “It’s the sex.”_

_Raelle blinked as she walked away, “Wait…”_

_Allison watched them leave._

_They were...not like any other couple she’d seen before. Certainly not like her mother and fathers. Not like any of the other High Atlantic marriages she’d interacted with. They weren’t like any High Atlantics._

_And, her mother would remind her they weren't. They didn’t have a name dripping with power and a legacy of prestige. They didn’t have both a summer and winter house. They didn’t live in the same neighborhood as those who rose to the upper echelons of witch society._

_But..._

_They were...Allison wasn’t even sure how to describe it._

_But, she didn’t dislike it._

_It was strange. Confusing. Weird._

_She found herself wanting to stay there with this odd family._

_She liked them._

_Henley murmured in her sleep, shifting against her._

_Allison brushed a kiss to her hair, casting her a final soft glance before slowly inching out from beneath her and joining the couple in the kitchen, finding herself laughing as the two older witches continued to banter._

There was a cool breeze that morning, the sun barely peeking over the horizon, first bell sounding in the distance. There were a few clouds, the thin white streaks melting away the higher the sun rose, dissipating into nothingness. The base was starting to wake up and come alive. The muted rumble of a truck could be heard, and it was easy to imagine the shuffling of feet as soldiers blearily marched out of their barracks to join in a morning run or tidy up before inspection. Officers would be making their way to their stations, some ready to dispense orders and oversee the youthful cadets, others flexing their hands, already feeling the pinch of exhaustion from filling out endless paperwork and answering phone calls.

Allison stood off to the side, long thin fingers absentmindedly twirling the medal she’d slipped off over her head, the pale pinkish orange hue reflecting off the bronze, chain wrapped around her knuckles. A few officers, patches indicating their allegiance to the fixer corp, strolled by her, giving her a cursory glance before entering the infirmary. 

The blaster ignored them, settling further back against the thick wall behind her, bare arms starting to prickle with goosebumps as the wind blew again. 

She didn’t care.

She could take it.

Her jacket was being used for a much more important purpose, anyway.

She’d left it with Henley.

Draped it over her like one of the stiff white hospital sheets that were tucked in around her legs and chest. Keeping her warm and cozy and safe.

So, if she woke up, and Allison wasn’t there, she’d know she was nearby. She’d have something to hold on to until Allison made it back.

Her mouth trembled, and she bit down hard on her lip, closing her eyes and forcing herself to breathe evenly. 

Images flashed in her mind.

Horrific images that she wished she’d never seen.

Images that made her feel like she couldn’t breathe.

Her hand closed around the medal, and she squeezed, the circular edge digging into her palm, the sting not even registering. She sniffed, mentally yelling at herself.

She was fine.

Her shoulder blades rested against the wall, and she blinked, a sudden exhaustion clouding her head. 

She suddenly just wanted to sleep.

Curl up and close her eyes and not wake up for hours.

Not wake up till everything was ok. Back to normal.

How it used to be.

Phantom voices rung in her ears, and, for a moment, she wanted to slam her hands over them, try to block out the sounds that were all in her head.

The shouting.

The panic.

The pleas.

Instead, she slipped the medal back over her head, letting it drop down to dangle against her chest, the weight familiar, the feel of the chain links almost comforting. 

She hadn’t been back to her dorm in she didn’t even know how long. It felt like years. Her CO had hunted her down, threatened everything under the sun and worse to get her to show up to training, class, anything. Give a damn about her duties and responsibilities. She was a soldier in the United States Army. She was theirs to do with as they pleased. She followed orders and didn’t question, didn’t think, didn’t do anything other than what she was told to do. She was still in War College. There was no abundance of stripes on her shoulders or medals clipped to her front. Her last name didn’t get her a free pass. Her family’s stature didn’t grant her the ability to do whatever she wanted.

Demerits and punishments and being kicked out of War College were all threatened.

She really didn’t care.

For the first time, she couldn't care less about anything her leaders told her.

She’d gladly be deployed to the furthest ends of the earth if it meant turning back time and changing what happened. 

If she was court-martialed for staying at Henley’s side, then she’d put the cuffs and silencer on herself. 

It wasn’t until a few soldiers tried to physically remove her from the building that the fixer in charge stepped in, until Maj. Bellwether showed up and granted Allison leave on the spot.

Emergency leave.

Leave she used to turn right back around and shoulder her way back into the infirmary room. Back to Henley’s bedside.

The soft padding of light footsteps clicked close by, and Allison peeked over, expecting to see more fixers entering, weighed down with textbooks and lack of coffee.

Instead, she spotted Skylar Dobbins picking her way along the path and up to the front door.

Rage filled Allison.

Red burning rage.

“What are you doing here?”

Skylar paused at the door to the infirmary. Her weary brown eyes drifted over to see Allison standing off to the side, arms crossing over her chest and eyes hard, like glittering flints of jade, cutting and disgusted.

Allison didn’t know if she wanted to windstrike her or break down and cry.

She tried to focus all her energy on her anger. Not on the guilt and terror and absolute grief that licked at the corners of her mind and tangled in her soul, working to drag her down into the shadows.

Exhaling softly, Skylar turned to face the taller witch, “I’m a fixer. I work here. I have class.”

A scoff, “Right.” 

Class.

Allison wanted to hit her.

Knock that quiet innocent lie off her face.

She slowly approached Skylar, the other witch eyeing her warily. She uncrossed her arms and lowered them to her sides stiffly, the achingly taut tendons of her forearms visible beneath the cuffed sleeves of her black regulation t-shirt. Her jaw clenched tightly, lips a thin line, pressed together hard enough to turn them pale. The younger witch unconsciously grabbed the strap of her bag laced over her shoulder, hands fisting around the rough material. She lifted her chin, prepared for a confrontation.

Allison would have laughed if she wasn’t shaking so badly.

The blaster stopped a step away from her, body visibly vibrating, “Let’s go.”

Eyes widened, “What?”

Allison tilted her head toward the door, “I’ll walk with you to wherever your class is.”

Skylar inhaled deeply, squaring her shoulders, “No, thanks. I can find it.”

Allison snorted, “Now you find a backbone, Dobbins?”

Skylar’s heart sank as her chest stuttered. Her eyes narrowed and shoulders tensed.

Allison closed the gap, getting in the other woman’s face, voice a deep growl, “You’re a damn coward, Dobbins.”

Skylar held her gaze, muscles ready to snap as her teeth ground together.

Green searched brown, not knowing what she was looking for, but not finding whatever it was, “Stay away from her.”

Henley.

“She’s my friend.”

“She doesn’t need a _friend_ like you.” She sneered, “I can’t believe I worried about you.”

Worried that Henley was in love with her. Wanted her. 

That she might be what Henley really needed.

Skylar’s spine stiffened, “ _I_ care about Henley.”

“Yeah, enough to run away.”

_Allison sprinted down the hallway, boots skidding on the slippery floor as she rounded the corner. She could feel Skylar close behind her, but she couldn’t focus on her, couldn’t focus on anything other than that she saw Scylla Ramshorn-Collar running into the infirmary._

_Henley’s mom was running to where Henley was._

_In the middle of the damn night._

_Her heart pounded as she pushed herself to go faster, digging her feet harder into the floor, willing her legs to pump quicker._

_Goddess, not Henley._

_Please, don’t let anything have happened to Henley._

_“Allison!” Skylar whisper-shouted, gasping behind her, “Stop!”_

_She did not stop._

_Bolting around the last corner, she caught sight of the flash of uniforms. Officers. Fixers._

_They were running after Scylla, too._

_Fuck._

_With a burst of speed she never knew she had in her, Allison vaulted through the open door to where Henley was._

_And came to a dead stop._

_Skylar collided into her back, but she barely moved._

_It was a nightmare._

_She was in hell._

_Oh….goddess._

_Scylla was on the floor._

_Raelle was in her arms, a crumpled heap._

_It didn’t look like she was moving._

_No._

_Fuck._

_“Are you crazy? We could get caught!” Skylar hissed. A second later, the fixer breathed out next to her, “Goddess.”_

_She saw what was in front of them._

_Allison felt the world drop out from under her at the sight._

_Henley’s parents._

_The Ramshorn-Collars._

_The people who had always been nice to her, even when she didn’t deserve it._

_The people who liked her._

_Who she liked back._

_The two people Henley loved more than anything._

_She felt like she was going to be sick._

_Henley._

_Fuck._

_Her eyes snapped up to the bed._

_The fixers hovered around it, trying to push someone back down, blocking the couple from view._

_Henley._

_It was Henley._

_A hand snagged the back of Allison’s jacket as she made to go over there._

_“Wait.” Skylar spoke up, wide eyes on the scene in front of them, “Don’t.”_

_“Let go of me.”_

_“They have it. You’ll get in the way.”_

_“Mama! Mom!” Henley’s groggy voice was becoming more alert._

_More scared._

_“Let go.” Allison snarled._

_“We’re not supposed to be here!” Skylar shot back. "You can't help!"_

_Allison ripped herself free and raced over to the bed, forcing herself not to look at the two people on the floor._

_She couldn’t._

_Shoving in between two officers, her breath caught._

_Henley was awake._

_Scared and disoriented, she fought against the fixer trying to urge her back onto the bed, her head swiveling away from the flashlight one tried to shine in her eyes, desperately trying to see through the wall of soldiers, “Mom!”_

_“Henley! Hen!” Allison jumped in._

_“Who the hell is this?” one of the fixer’s muttered._

_“Get her the hell out of here.” another called out._

_Allison ignored them._

_She ignored all of them._

_Batting away the hands grasping at her maybe girlfriend’s arms and shoulders, she leaned over the bed, “Hen, baby, hey. Look at me. It’s ok. Calm down.”_

_“Allison?” Henley panted, terrified, eyes open and confused and desperate._

_“Shh, yeah,” Allison grasped her arm, curving her other hand around Henley’s cheek, forcing her to look at her, “Calm down. You’re ok. You need to relax.”_

_“What...what’s happening? My mom….”_

_Allison tried to block out the gut wrenching desperation she could hear happening behind her, “It’s ok. I need you to trust me, baby. I know you don’t, but, please, trust me.”_

_Henley frowned, eyes blinking rapidly._

_Allison stared into her eyes, “I’m here. I’m right here.”_

“You stood there.” Allison shook her head, “You’re a fixer and you didn’t even come in the room.”

Skylar bit the inside of her cheek, “The officers had it handled. I would have been in the way. There was nothing I could do to help.”

“You were scared.” Allison accused, “You were worried you’d get in trouble. That you’d have to make a decision. Fucking do something.”

Skylar glared.

“That’s your problem, isn’t it, Dobbins? You actually have to do something, and you just stand there. Quiet little Dobbins. Middle of your class. Average marks. Doesn’t stand out at all. Did you even visit Henley before?”

“Shut up.” Skylar bit out. “Just because we’re not all high and mighty glory seekers who get everything handed to us and never have to worry about anything…”

“Do you even know what happened in there?” Allison exploded. Her voice boomed, loud and enraged and about to fall apart, “Do you understand what was going on?”

Skylar’s shoulders rose and fell heavily, her breaths strained, “There were fixers already there. I would have been in the way. If I...”

“Those were Henley’s parents! Henley was awake and scared and her damn parents were there on the ground and you…” Her voice cut off as she swallowed thickly, words cracking, “...you stood there. You didn’t do anything to help. You think you know me? High and mighty? I know your kind. Head down, don’t make waves, pass through without ever doing anything.” She pointed sharply at the door, “Henley was scared, and her mama was dying, and you kept your head down. You didn’t do anything. You stood back and didn’t do a damn thing. You weren’t even there when...” 

“No.” Skylar shook her head, “No, that is not...”

Allison’s voice shattered, “Her parents! Her…” she slammed her mouth shut, breathing in harshly through her nose, the lump in her throat causing her eyes to sting. 

Henley’s parents.

Henley.

She stepped back, taking a breath, chest expanding and constricting painfully, “She misses you. If you visit her, you better not act like you did that night. Don't let her know you’d never actually fight for her. You’d just let whatever happened happen and not do a damn thing to change it. To help.” She huffed, pushing past the shorter girl to enter the infirmary, “I’ll try to get your CO to order you to stop by, so you don’t have to worry about getting a demerit or having to make a decision. Have to do something on your own.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well huh. That happened.
> 
> Feel free to come at me. What was that?


	9. Mudslide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thus, being tired, she thought she was hearing things at first.
> 
> Only one person ever really called her that. She wasn’t the only person on base with jade colored eyes, anyways.
> 
> Her normally sure steps stuttered when she spotted Raelle Ramshorn-Collar leaning back against the driver’s side door of her car.
> 
> She had heard right.
> 
> The blaster’s fingers stilled as a sense of dread filled her.
> 
> Why was Henley’s mama there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after Second Round.

“Green eyes!”

Allison looked up from where she was relooping her scourge, squinting a bit as she peered toward the parking lot she was passing by. The witch was tired, exhausted to be more precise, her arms sore from whipping around the woven leather, slicing through dummy after dummy for what felt like hours, and face raw from the biting winds she and her fellow blasters attempted to summon, chipped stone and rock cutting through the air when Ravensburg went too big too fast. Streaks of dirt and tiny bits of debris scattered in her hair and dotted her temple and under her chin, a handful of minuscule pebbles digging into her skin. Her shirt already was glued to her back, an uncomfortable second skin wet with slick cooling sweat, and her boots were dusty enough to make someone think they had allergies, clouds kicking up every time she took a step.

The normally gorgeous woman looked like a mess.

Dark patches roamed under her eyelids and streaked near her lashes, Her worn out eyes wanted to droop from long sleepless nights spent worrying instead of resting in the comforting arms of slumber. Worrying about herself. About Henley. About everything. Where she once was placid, confident in her abilities and decisions, her place in the world, now she was questioning, wondering, hearing different voices pulling her one way then the other. 

Nights spent wishing she was with Henley, holding her close and listening to her heart beat. Hearing her breathe as she slept. Being able to touch her and know that, with the gentlest of kisses, she’d wake up, reveal startling blue eyes beneath delicate lashes. 

Nights spent wondering if Henley was sleeping. Wondering what more she could do. If what she was doing even mattered. Wondering if she was even helping. If she _could_ help.

Nights spent thinking about the tears that filled Henley’s eyes when they fought. All the times they weren’t together when they could have been. How she ignored the way the glimmer in Henley’s eyes slowly faded, the sparkle that used to be there whenever she spotted Allison not igniting like it did when they first met.

Nights trying to figure out if she was fighting for something that was still there.

Nights willing herself not to cry because it was hard. It was so hard. Henley needed someone, someone supporting her, caring for and about her, being there. Someone who was there. Allison wasn’t sure if her feeble attempts were even what Henley needed. What worked. 

She didn’t know what she was doing.

None of it.

So, she spent her days focusing her power into destroying dummies and rock markers and her nights questioning things she had never questioned before in her life.

Thus, being tired, she thought she was hearing things at first.

Only one person ever really called her that. She wasn’t the only person on base with jade colored eyes, anyways.

Her normally sure steps stuttered when she spotted Raelle Ramshorn-Collar leaning back against the driver’s side door of her car.

She had heard right.

The blaster’s fingers stilled as a sense of dread filled her.

Why was Henley’s mama there?

Was she there to see Henley? Henley should be back in class right now but...did something happen?

Had she heard something?

Absentmindedly hooking the scourge to her belt, Allison turned on her heel and walked toward the older witch. She felt an invisible hand dig into her chest as she caught sight of the fatigue weighing down once strong shoulders, a weathered hand fiddling with the handle of a cane.

“Mrs. Ramshorn-Collar.” Allison gulped down her trepidation, putting on a polite face, “Hi. How are you?”

Raelle looked at her for a moment before tilting her head, “Let’s go for a drive.”

Allison froze, “What?”

“A drive. Let’s go.” Raelle pushed off from the door. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I have to report back to my CO.” Part of the plan to keep the once model soldier in line, since Allison had been doing her fair share of disappearing and not showing up for class.

Her mother had been furious when she learned that her daughter was not performing up to the standards set by her forebears.

She lost it completely when she learned why Allison had suddenly received more demerits than was viewed acceptable for a Todd.

All because of a girl that was not good enough and only going to drag her down.

Filled her daughter’s head with thoughts and ideas that would only lead her to where she was right at that moment, surrounded by talks of lack of leadership quality and a referral to not be promoted with the rest of her class if her actions did not change soon.

Thoughts and ideas that would only confuse her and cause her to ruin her life.

Were already ruining her life.

She was a Todd, for goddess’s sake. A High Atlantic. Every witch before her served and served with pride and distinction. Were heralded and sat near the right hand of Alder. 

Were near the top of the hierarchy until a Bellweather took over.

Raelle shot her a look, “You’re cleared for the rest of the day, Corporal.” She opened the door and slowly slid inside with a veiled grimace, tossing her cane in the back seat, “I know some people. Get in.” 

Looking towards the path she should take to get back to her barracks and her CO’s office, Allison inhaled deeply.

She was afraid to get in that car.

There were very very few things that scared or made Allison Todd nervous.

This was suddenly one of them.

It was becoming a Ramshorn-Collar family trait.

She had never truly been wary of Henley’s parents before. At first, they were an oddity that didn’t really matter because Henley was only some girl who showed up with flowers after flirting with her one night. 

Somehow, they became a part of her life she refused to acknowledge. 

That she never understood.

Was on the edge of embracing but still held herself back at the very last second.

She couldn’t let herself fall completely into the unknown.

Into whatever the Ramshorn-Collar clan was.

They were Henley’s parents. They mattered to Henley. They were the couple Henley idolized and thought they should be like. It drove Allison crazy, at times. How Henley wanted something that made no sense. 

Then, Henley was gone and her parents were there. 

They were there.

They hugged her. 

Then, they were gone. Raelle and Scylla on the floor in the infirmary while Henley panicked, awake but scared.

A living nightmare that still arose in random moments, phantom adrenaline rushing through her veins as she witnessed a family, a family who had always accepted her, nearly end. 

She pursed her lips as she remembered arguing with Henley. 

Saying things about her parents.

About her mama.

Did Raelle know?

Did she know how much she’d hurt Henley?

That Todds hated the Bellweathers and the Ramshorn-Collars and Henley might hate Allison now.

“Get in the damn car, Allison.”

Steeling herself, Allison gave herself a tiny nod and made her way around the front of the car before slipping into the passenger seat.

Raelle turned the key, starting it up, “Scylla thinks I’m meeting Abigail for lunch, so don’t tell her we’re doing this.”

Allison had a strange feeling Scylla Ramshorn-Collar knew just about everything her wife did or did not do. “What are we doing?”

“Ice cream.”

“Ice cream?”

Raelle nodded as she put the car into gear and eased it forward, “Yep.”

Allison sat back as the car meandered down the road, passing by tall trees and colonial brick buildings. 

“Took me forever to learn Scylla’s favorite flavor. Dark chocolate.”

Allison vaguely remembered that.

Raelle kept her eyes forward, one hand on the wheel while the other rested on her thigh, “There was this ice cream shop close by the house. It’s still there. Should’ve known Henley would get a sweet tooth. Scylla liked her ice cream when she was pregnant. I was in and out of that shop so many times, sometimes at the craziest hours. Got to know the owner. Nice guy. He would always give Henley a free scoop when we took her as a kid.”

Allison sat frozen, her heart beating fast and her stomach churning.

What should be pleasant small talk made her feel like she was going to be sick.

Raelle carefully turned the wheel, slowing as a group of soldiers marched across in front of them. “My family is the best thing that ever happened to me. My wife...my kid. Some people think it’s weird. How much I love them.”

Allison felt her heart drop.

Everything seemed to disappear, the entire world shrinking to the inside of that car. To the front seats. To them.

Her fight or flight response kicked in, and she dug her short nails into her skin, the prick of pain enough to focus on, to anchor her.

To make her not bolt out the door or succumb to the bile burning its way through her stomach.

“I am so incredibly lucky that Scylla fell in love with me. Stuck with me. It’s not easy, being with someone. It’s really damn hard, actually. Henley doesn’t really know, but we broke up once. Well...I guess it’s up for debate if we were still together or not. There was a lot going on at the time. It was when we were still at Fort Salem. About your age, actually.” She tapped her thumb against the steering wheel, “I thought she was going to leave me once. Before we got married. I was supposed to accept the honorable discharge the moment conscription ended. I didn’t. And, I didn’t tell her until after I accepted the offer, the promotion. She was furious.” 

Allison forced her hands to not shake, clasping them in her lap. She maintained perfect posture. A soldier at attention. A High Atlantic above such trivial things as guilt or shame or regret.

“She stayed with me. Sometimes, I have no idea why. I have no idea why she loves me. She gave me everything I’ve ever wanted, more than I could have ever hoped for.”

The car rolled to a stop behind a truck.

Raelle glanced over at her, “Scylla’s the smart one. The perceptive one. Henley’s always gone to her when she needs to talk. Scylla knows when something is wrong. She knows what to say to make it better. She’s really good like that. The best damn mom anyone could ask for.” 

Allison bit her lip, not turning to meet the eyes she could feel burning the side of her face.

“You helped Henley when everything happened. You helped Scylla. You were there.”

Allison’s jaw clenched as her face wobbled, the veneer of calm threatening to break.

She was so tired.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and my daughter. But something is.”

There it was.

Allison choked back a gasp, hands clasped so tight they ached, the tendons in her arms straining at the force.

“You’re adults. You’re not little kids. But...Henley is my only child. She’s Scylla’s and mine’s daughter. I…” she paused, inhaling sharply through her nose, “I can’t be there for her. Scylla can’t either. She really wants to, goddess does she want to, but…” her voice dropped, “but she can’t because of me. Because Henley is still an adult and an enlisted soldier, and what we want doesn’t matter. I don’t know what Henley is doing or going through. I don’t know what she’s planning or thinking about doing. But, if she’s leaning on you, I have to know, and I have to know if you’re there for her. If you’re going to be there for her.”

Allison opened her mouth, but Raelle shook her head.

“My wife and I care about you, Allison. You’re our daughter’s girlfriend. We’ve known you for years. I know you’re not my kid, and, I really shouldn’t be talking to you about this, but I’ve met your mom, and she’s a bitch. I doubt you’re talking to her about all this.”

Allison coughed out a strained laugh.

“I don’t have tea, but there’s a flask in the glove compartment.” Raelle tilted her chin, “Feel free to take a sip and tell me what I think I’ve been seeing is right or wrong.”

Allison’s lips trembled, “I’m sorry.”

Raelle knew.

She knew what Allison had done.

That she’d hurt Henley.

That Henley sometimes couldn’t even look at her.

That Allison was fighting when she didn’t even know what that meant or looked like, but the very thought of Henley being gone was scarier than anything she had ever experienced.

The unspoken dread that Henley couldn’t love her anymore.

The guilt that she’d said so many things about the Ramshorn-Collars. 

“I’m sorry.” she repeated, trying to take a calming breath, her shoulders taut with anguish. She needed to rein herself in. Project the confidence she was meant to always have. Be strong. Tough. Unaffected.

Raelle turned off the road, maneuvering to a spot near one of the barracks, and put the car in park. She sat there, waiting.

Simply waiting.

Allison swallowed thickly, barely able to breathe past the bitter grief haunting the back of her throat, dark and rough and sharp and horrible. She didn’t know she was crying until she blinked, a lone tear tracking down her cheek, leaving a glistening trail of despair on her bleak features. She felt the droplet crash against her hand, splattering like the emotions bursting up from the depths of her soul, “It didn’t mean anything. I swear.”

Raelle tipped her head back against the seat.

“I thought...I...we…” Allison struggled to say what was already scrambled incoherently in her mind, not wanting to talk but unable to keep it in because she hadn’t been able to say anything to anyone since it happened, since she recognized who she could and couldn’t trust on base, and High Atlantics were their own special breed of glory-seeking and ladder climbing. It had built and built until here she was, words tumbling out with wild abandon, “We weren’t...us...and...and it’s my fault but...she had Skylar and it was easier. It was easier to be with other people and not think about her. To be around people who are supposed to be like me. Who I’m supposed to be like. Who I am. She was there..it’s normal...it’s normal…” She wiped harshly at her face, almost rubbing her skin raw as she swatted away the tears, “I didn’t have sex with her because I don’t want Henley. I...just...it was supposed to make sense. It was supposed to be right. But, it wasn’t, and I acted like it was. I pretended like it was. Because, that’s how it’s meant to be. That’s how witches are. How Todds are. How our entire society and culture is. It was nothing. I thought it was ok. Or...maybe I made myself think it was...I don’t know. But, Henley found out and...then there was the accident. She wasn’t there anymore. Henley wasn’t there.”

Raelle pinched the bridge of her nose, leaning her elbow against the indent of the window.

Allison grit her teeth, using every ounce of control to speak clearly, to not sob like a small child unable to handle their emotions, “I love her. I love Henley. I do.”

Raelle nodded, taking a deep slightly wheezing breath, “Ok.” Her chest rattled a little as she thumbed her ring, “Ok.”

Allison finally looked over at her. 

At the woman who had nearly died because she loved her daughter.

Raelle brought her hand to her mouth, pressing her knuckle there as she processed what she’d just heard.

What her daughter’s girlfriend just admitted.

“I promise, I love Henley.” Allison rasped, clearing her throat, “I am going to be there for her. She...she won’t forgive me, but I’m here. I am here, Mrs. Ramshorn-Collar.”

“Are you?”

Allison blinked.

Raelle turned her head, “Scylla and I know we’re different. How we are isn’t normal. You...you’re not bad for not wanting what we have. What Henley wants.”

Allison straightened her shoulders, “I do.”

A sigh, “Allison,”

“I thought I lost her. I thought I would never get to see her smile or...or hear her say anything ever again.” Allison ground out. “I do not want a life where Henely isn’t in it.”

“Are you sure you understand what that means?”

“No.” Allison confessed. 

Raelle scratched at her cheek, muttering a curse under her breath.

Allison let her lungs constrict, holding in the rush of air before letting it out slowly, “I had sex with someone who wasn’t Henley. And, no one cares because it’s just sex. But, Henley cares. I let myself forget how much she matters. That she might not always be there. I...I let myself get frustrated and angry because she wants what you and your wife have...and I don’t understand it. I don’t know what that is. So, I did what High Atlantics are supposed to do. She hates me because of it. I’ve lost her and I’ve lost you and Mrs. Ramshorn-Collar...but I’m going to be there for Henley because I remember what it was like to see her face when she said she knew about Treefine, and I remember what it felt like to hear she was sent to medical because of an accident. Maybe I don’t know what love is or am even able to be what Henley deserves. But, I am not going to ever go through that again. I am not making Henley feel that way again or...or ever have to be alone.”

Raelle stared out the windshield, not saying a word, not giving any indication whether she wanted to punch the other woman or hug her. 

Allison hated herself at that moment. She hated that she broke down. Cried. That she had to admit to what she had done. That’d she’d done those things. That the mother of her maybe girlfriend, the woman who was still visibly weakened and hurt, had to hear it. 

She hated that she wasn’t strong enough at that moment to keep it inside. Deal with it on her own. Handle it. That it was getting harder each day to juggle her responsibilities and expectations and try to help Henley while knowing so much of this was her fault. Having all these emotions roiling inside that she had no idea how to handle or even recognize. That she hurt the three people who cared about her.

That she had so willingly let them go without even knowing what she was giving up until it was too late.

“I am too sober for this.”

Allison blinked out of her thoughts, “What?”

Raelle bent over and popped open the glove compartment, pulling out the flask and nudging the little door closed. She righted herself and unscrewed the cap, taking a healthy sip. She held it out to Allison who hesitantly took it.

She took a sip.

Fuck, she forgot how much Cession moonshine burned.

Raelle took it back, using it to point ahead of them, “See that spot over there?”

It was a small patch of grass and dirt in front of the barracks they were parked by.

“I proposed to Scylla there.”

Allison’s head whipped around.

Raelle took another sip, “Twice, actually. She doesn’t think the first time counts because I was drunk and only had a ring made from grass, but I wanted to marry her. Scylla was it for me. No matter what.” She lightly hit the flask against the steering wheel, tapping out a short beat, “Not going to lie, I really should kick you out of this car.”

Allison prepared herself for the yelling.

For the hate. The disappointment.

“Do you choose Henley?”

Allison frowned at the random question.

Raelle sighed, “I have no idea if you and my daughter will work out. I don’t. I know that love is the hardest thing in the world. Some of it is fun and easy. But, it’s every day. It is choosing to love and be with the same person every single day. To be honest with them. To listen to them. Talk to them. I’ve been married for a long time, and I’m still figuring it out. I choose Scylla every day, and she chooses me. If you can do that. If you can choose Henley, no matter what, no matter what anyone says or does or what happens, and she does the same,” a shrug, “you might find yourself thirty years from now with Henley still complaining to you about the stupid Odyssey in the middle of dinner.”

The brunette squeezed her eyes shut.

“It’s not going to be easy. At all. Especially now. Henley has gone through a lot, and Scylla and I can’t be there for her like we want to. Henley is stubborn. Scylla says she got that from me. As if my wife isn’t the most stubborn person on the planet.”

“Henley really is.” she whispered.

Raelle sucked in her bottom lip, “You know my kid, Allison. You've been together long enough.”

Allison sniffled, mentally berating herself for still letting her emotions get the better of her.

For so blasely attempting to walk away from all this. Think that it might still be there no matter what she said or did.

Raelle finally set the flask down and reached for the keys, restarting the car, “If you choose Henley, and it gets tough, talk to her. If you can’t talk to her, you know the number to the house. If you’re lucky, Scylla will be home.”

Allison couldn’t stop the words from blurting out, “Why are you being nice to me?”

Raelle peeked at her as she drove the car back onto the road, “You’re not a bad person, Allison. And, you let me have the cookie Lucy gave you that one time, so we’re bonded.” She cleared her throat, “Now, ice cream. Don’t tell Scylla.”

Allison rubbed at her eyes, “I think she knows, Mrs. Ramshorn-Collar.”

Raelle exhaled dramatically, “I know, but at least let me pretend for a few hours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? You know how this works, folks. One cookie for reading. Two cookies for a kudos. The entire bag of cookies for a comment.


	10. Screwdriver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stepping into the Rec Room, a small smile graced her face as she spotted Skylar standing by the billiard’s table, casually spinning a red ball under her palm. As if sensing the presence, the fixer glanced over, and she seemed to light up.
> 
> A sense of calm washed over Henley at the sight.
> 
> “Henley...hi.” Skylar greeted, immediately letting the ball go and rushing around the table only to stop at the edge.
> 
> “Hi, Sky.” Henley greeted softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are after Second Round.

Henley slowly walked down the empty hall. She could hear the crack of a billiard ball colliding with another, the subtle whoosh sounding in her head as the image of a striped ball spinning along the green felt of the pool table flashed in her mind. The tattered cuffs of her sweatshirt crinkled under her fingers, and she pulled them down farther, covering her hands and burrowing a bit deeper into the comforting cotton, the hood resting awkwardly against the nape of her neck, the string long gone. Her boots were quiet against the floor, the late hour leaving the building silent except for the soft sounds coming from the Rec Room and the distant ticking of a clock.

It was just past midnight, and she couldn’t sleep.

The silence of the late hour was a soft comfort that only tangled with the edges of her twisted and knotted thoughts. She tried to sleep, but the dreams, the nightmares, had woken her up. She tried to study. Lose herself in her books and notes. Turning page after page, skimming words in english, mother tongue, and a strange combination of both. She moved around. Walked the perimeter of her room. Shuffled her papers together into a semblance of order. 

Nothing worked.

Her chest still ached and her mind still whirled. Images and voices and ideas careening and colliding in a chaotic mess.

During the day, she was fine. She could focus on her training. Put all her energy into classes, lectures, drills. Learning as much as she could. Catching up and helping others and running herself ragged on the obstacle courses. Unsuccessfully dodging her friends as they sidled up on the way to the mess hall for meals and sat or stood near her during instruction. 

At night, though, she had only herself. She knew she could go to someone else’s dorm. But, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to burden one of her friends with the thoughts that weighed on her mind. 

How could she even tell them everything that was going on inside? About everything that had happened? Only one person knew almost as much as her, and there were times she longed to talk to her. Curl up in her arms and have it all fade away. A strong body and gentle touch let her know, no matter what, it was ok. It would be ok.

Goddess, it hurt not being able to do that. She wasn’t sure if it hurt more knowing why she wasn’t...or knowing that she so easily could. Those arms were waiting if she wanted them. 

She couldn’t. Not yet. Not about this. Allison knew some of it. But, Henley couldn’t talk to her about it all.

She had to figure this out on her own.

And, Allison only added to the confusion.

Stepping into the Rec Room, a small smile graced her face as she spotted Skylar standing by the billiard’s table, casually spinning a red ball under her palm. As if sensing the presence, the fixer glanced over, and she seemed to light up.

A sense of calm washed over Henley at the sight.

“Henley...hi.” Skylar greeted, immediately letting the ball go and rushing around the table only to stop at the edge.

“Hi, Sky.” Henley greeted softly. 

_A hesitant knock echoed against the door to her room. Henley peeked over from where she was sitting cross legged on her bed, fiddling with the medal draped around her neck, eyes wet and the bronze glinting in the incandescent light, her mama’s name reflecting sharply._

_Mind miles away from the dorm room and the papers haphazardly strewn around her._

_Wondering where her mama was. How she was. If her mom was ok._

_If her family was ok._

_Angry and bitter and upset that she couldn’t find anything out. That she couldn’t go to the medical building. Couldn’t go to training. Wasn’t cleared for anything._

_And, all the other thoughts filling her head._

_Carter - the third year witch who had miscalculated the power level that day._

_The rest of her class. Her division. The first year Necros. The second and third years she sometimes trained with. Everyone who had been there when the explosion happened._

_Wiping hastily at her face, Henley slowly stood up and walked to the door._

_Her stomach grumbled, but she ignored the slight pain in her stomach. She wasn’t really hungry. Didn’t feel like going down to the mess hall. There was still one more granola bar left in her desk drawer, anyway. She might eat it later._

_If she got really hungry._

_Reaching the door, she paused._

_She did not want to see anyone. Talk to anyone._

_She wanted to be left alone._

_She wanted to see her parents._

_She wanted someone to tell her something useful._

_Or leave her be._

_Opening the door a crack, she was surprised to see Skylar standing awkwardly on the other side, “Sky?”_

_“Hi, Henley.” Skylar gave a tiny wave, “I...um...wanted to see how you’re doing. See if you wanted to talk or...we could play another game of pool or get some tea…head down to the Rec Room.”_

_Henley felt her chest catch, “I...maybe later. There’s a lot to do and…”_

_“It’s ok.” Skylar quickly waved it off. “Whenever you’re ready. I can wait.”_

_Henley bit her lip, “Thanks.”_

_“No problem. When you want to talk, we’ll talk. No pressure. Whenever you’re ready.”_

_Henley gave her a small nod and shut the door._

Skylar rocked on her feet, “How are you?”

How was she?

Her parents were ok.

The Necros were ok, all of them. 

She was back in training.

“I’m ok,” Henley took a breath and moved further into the room. The pit of her stomach dipped, for some reason each stepping causing it to fall further and further into an anxious abyss. 

When she drew near, Skylar swayed back before launching herself forward, warmly wrapping her arms around the necro, “I’m glad you’re ok.”

Henley bit back the tears at the comforting embrace. Her nose buried in the crook of her neck, and her eyes slipped closed as she basked in the peacefulness that draped around her, “I missed you.”

It felt so good to be held like this. To hold her back.

“Missed you, too.”

Inhaling deeply, the scent of commissary soap and sleepy moonlight filled her senses. She gave herself one more moment before pulling back, swiping at her eyes, “Thanks. For...for being here.”

For waiting for her.

“Always.” Skylar shrugged, “Figured you’d be back for another chance to lose a game.”

Henley huffed a chuckle, “Whatever.”

Skylar wet her lips, biting the inside of her cheek, “You’ll get better. Little practice, and we can take our show on the road. Swindle the entire base.”

Henley nodded, her mind unwittingly slipping back to the memories that had been plaguing her mind for the past few nights. She glanced down, the words on the tip of her tongue, right there but...stuck.

“What?” Skylar asked.

Henley shook her head at herself, “They...I talked with my Aunt Abi a few days ago. Maj. Bellweather. I’m being given a commendation.”

“A commendation?”

“For bravery.” It was a big deal. War College students never got recognition like this, formal and permanent, especially newbies, and most certainly never necros. 

“Wow.” Skylar took that in. “That’s...wow.”

Yeah. Wow.

“I don’t want it.”

“Oh.” 

Her Aunt had been speechless when she told her, “It’s stupid.” She knew her Aunt Abi was doing it to show how proud she was. One of the ways she thought she’d make it up to Henley and her parents for what happened.

Skylar nodded slowly, “It is sort of dumb to give you a pin because they almost killed you.”

Henley frowned. “It’s stupid because I didn’t do anything.”

Skylar’s eyes widened, “What?”

She didn’t. “All I did was notice someone making a mistake.” It wasn’t brave. It wasn’t going above and beyond anything. It was paying attention. Doing her job. “Anyone would have done it.”

“No one else did it.” spluttered Skylar. “You...you almost died, Hen.”

It was weird, how she never really thought about that part. She thought about the accident. She thought about getting Carter out of the way. How worried she was, the flash of panic and fear when she figured out what was happening. She thought about her parents. Waking up and seeing them on the floor. Not knowing what was going on. She thought about Allison hovering over her, calming her down, promising her it was ok. 

She thought about how thankful Carter was. How the rest of her class visited. Bumped shoulders with her and offered to team up until she was back to being miles ahead of everyone in class. 

She thought about her mom and mama as they drove to get lunch. Both tired, her mama leaning on a cane, but there. Alive. Joking and grinning and poking fun at the younger witches.

The idea she almost died never haunted her the way all those other thoughts did.

All the other people who almost died.

“I did what I was trained to do.” Henley blinked, mouth twisting a fraction. “What they train us to do.”

“Henley,”

“When she told me about the commendation, she also offered me an honorable discharge. She’d fasttrack it. I could be home within a week.”

The entire world had frozen when those words hit Henley the first time, sitting in her Aunt’s office, surrounded by prestige and generations of service.

A discharge.

Her Aunt was letting her leave.

Go home.

Skylar took a step back, her face overcome with a grin larger than any Henley had ever seen from the quiet girl, “An honorable discharge? Wow! That’s...that’s great! What are you going to do? Are you going to go to college? STC? They’d be crazy to not accept you again. You’ll be great there. I know you will. You have to write all about it to me. Will you study necromancy or something else? Are there a lot of different paths for that? I haven’t looked into it. You can scope it all out. Once I get out, you can tell me where to stay. I’ve heard there are some really good clinics nearby now. This is...I’m so happy for you, Hen.”

“I said no.”

“You’re totally going to...wait...what?” Skylar stuttered to a stop. 

Henley sighed, “I told her no. I’m staying here.”

Her Aunt had gone deathly pale when she heard.

Then, she snorted with, “Damn Ramshorn-Collars.”

“You said no?” Skylar looked at her like she had grown two heads, “Are you nuts?”

Henley felt her hackles rise, but she bit back against the tenseness in her shoulders, “This is what I want.”

Confusion thrummed around her, causing her to blink almost dazedly, “What you want? You have an out! You don’t have to be here anymore. How can you turn that down?”

How?

“Because, this is where I belong.”

“Henley, you almost died. You were in a coma! Now, you can go home. You can leave. You’re...this is nuts. This is crazy, Henley. I know you wanted to be career but...now? After all that? You have to take the offer.”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“Listen to yourself. The army almost killed you, and you’re choosing to stay here? Honorable discharge. That’s...who wouldn’t want that? Especially after what happened.”

“I’ve thought about this. A lot.” It was all she thought about, even before the offer was given. How could she not? She’d thought about it after, Abigail telling her to think it over. Hour after hour she thought about it. “I’m not leaving. I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

Henley rubbed at her face, pressing her lips together. There were so many things she went over. Studied. Debated back and forth with herself. Paced around for hours fighting with herself over. But, she kept going back to the same thing, “I’m not running away at the first sign of trouble. I took the oath. The same oath everyone else took. This is my job. My responsibilities. I’m not abandoning all that because something happened.”

“Trouble? You were in the infirmary. You should have died.” Skylar was completely baffled. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 

“I’m not walking away from everyone because I got hurt. I’m not doing that.”

“They would understand! No one will judge you. Hell, they should be happy for you like I am.”

Henley pressed her lips together harder, the blunt edges of her teeth digging into the soft flesh, “How can I take the same oath as everyone else, but leave them? This job is dangerous. We all know that.”

Skylar rubbed the back of her head, eyes wide, not understanding at all what was being said, confused and lost, “Not like this. You were in a coma.” She almost muttered to herself, “How are you not getting that?”

Henley sucked in a breath, “What if I wasn’t there?”

Skylar tilted her head at the question, corners of her mouth dripping farther down her cheeks.

One of the nightmares that played over and over, “What if I wasn’t there when it happened? I didn’t notice Carter made a mistake? She’d be dead. More people would have gotten hurt. How can I be ok with that? Know that she would have been in the blast. More of my...my friends would have been injured. Because I wasn’t there.”

“You don’t know that. That’s not what happened.”

“It could have.” If no one else noticed, it would have been so much worse. “What if I’m not there next time because I left?” Her hand unconsciously tangled in the links of her necklace, “My parents fought in the War…”

“This is about your parents?” Skylar interrupted her, eyes crinkling and narrowing.

“No,” Henley bit her lip. It actually wasn’t. Not like that. “This is about...not walking away from my fellow witches. Not leaving them behind because of something scary or hard. I don’t think I ever really understood when my family, my aunts and mama, talked about their unit. About being sisters.” Henley blinked, “I’m with my people. The necros...we’re doing something important. We can do something really good here. How can I turn my back on them? Necromancy is dangerous. We control the power of death itself. It’ll be dangerous no matter where I practice. But, here...I can save people. Protect them. Protect the people I’ve spent every day with...for over a year. I’ve gone through Basic with them. Graduated with them. Worked by their sides every day. They’re at risk just as much as I am. If they’re willing to risk it, so should I.”

She wasn’t afraid of death.

Not really.

How could she be when she was surrounded by it every day?

She was afraid of someone else dying.

Someone else having their life, their essence, whittled away, sucked into the stream leading to the underworld.

Skylar could only stare at her, mouth open incredulously.

“I don’t care about a commendation or a pin or promotion.” Henley continued, “I don’t want it. I...I want to do Work. I’ve talked to some of the instructors. There’s an opening in Research and another in Intelligence. I could take one of those tracks. There’s so much we still don’t know about how our specialty works, all the ways we can interact with the current, it’s power. There are so many ways I can do something worthwhile. Make sure witches don’t get hurt. The more we know...necromancy touches on every single discipline here.”

It was scary and intriguing and somehow felt right. This was where she was meant to be. Making sure this didn’t happen again. Sticking with the witches who ran to her when the explosion happened. Who listened to her when she told them something was wrong. Who saw her as their equal, as one of them. Didn’t think she was weird because she could make deathcaps or went on and on about Samhain. Instead of staring at books in a classroom, she was doing something real. 

How could she walk away from the very same risks every other soldier faced? That her family had faced. Turn her back when she could help. Be useful. 

She couldn’t.

Her head snapped around when Skylar’s accusation sliced through the air, “You’re staying because of Allison.”

“What?” Henley felt like she’d been smacked.

Skylar huffed, “It all makes sense. You enlisted because of her, of course you’re staying because of her.”

A cold rage ignited and churned in her belly, “I didn’t enlist because of Allison.”

Skylar ran her hand over the top of her short cropped hair, “This is the sort of thing Allison would say. Has she told you this? That you should stay? Commendations...all of this is pure High Atlantic. This is their thing.”

The rage bubbled, only tempered by disappointment. By an abject sadness that creaked in her chest, “I don’t do everything Allison says. Honestly, she thinks I should be happy I’m getting a commendation because that means recognition and promotion.”

Allison understood the hierarchy of the military. How things worked. How to play the game to rise to the top.

Commendations were one of the better ways, especially so young and without the High Atlantic name to ride on. 

It helped Henley actually deserved the recognition, and it wasn’t simply pandering or nepotism.

“Of course she does!” Skylar’s voice finally rose, “There’s no way she told you to stay? To not leave the army? Didn’t feed you some bullshit propaganda because all High Atlantics care about is the military? You’re staying because you think she will be there for you, but she won’t.” Skylar pleaded, “She doesn’t love you, Henley. She lied to you. She hurt you.”

The sharp stab in her heart had her teeth clenching, “I know.”

She knew what Allison had done. She didn’t need anyone to remind her.

The blinding pain was still there.

It hadn’t gone away.

She wondered if it ever would.

“Then why would you…”

“This isn’t about anyone else!” The brunette’s control snapped. “This isn’t about my parents or Allison or you or Aunt Abi or anyone. This is about the fact I enlisted, and I am going to do what I said I was going to do. I’m not leaving. Not when doing my job, doing what I’m good at, what I love to do, can keep witches safe.” She took a breath, heart pounding, “How can I go to STC when everything I would be learning there can help people here? Right now. People I know. How can I sit off in a classroom while my friends are here actually doing Work. Work I can do.” 

Staring at her friend dejectedly, Henley was suddenly overcome by a dark tsunami of sadness. It burned the back of her throat and stung her eyes, the pit of her stomach plummeting fully into the abyss her body had subconsciously foreseen. “Maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you. I know you don’t want to be here. But, I do.” She pointed at herself, “I am going to serve like my mama did, like my aunts did, and I am not going to hide from this. This is what I do and who I am. This is...this is what I want.”

“Henley.”

“I spent so much time thinking about this. And, I shouldn’t have even had to. Because leaving never felt right. I made a promise. I’m not going to bail because it got hard. These...these are my witches. My people. We are helping witches. Do you get that at all?”

Skylar tried to beg her to see reason, stepping forward and reaching for her hand, “A coma, Henley. You could have died. You have to look out for yourself. No one else here will. They will let you get blown up again. No hesitation. STC, Hen. You can leave. Have a real life.”

Henley swallowed back the sob forming. She felt her already wounded heart crack. Skylar didn’t get it. She didn't support her on this. Henley was making a choice. Not because of what her parents wanted or thought. Not Allison or her old unit or her friends. Her aunts or her uncle or her grandpa or grandma. 

Her.

And Skylar was still telling her she was wrong.

“I should go.” Henley took one last look before turning around.

She got a few steps before Skylar called out, “Why? Because I’m telling you the truth? Because I’m not lying to you like Allison? Are you sure you’re not throwing everything away because you think Allison isn’t the same lying High Atlantic she’s always been? Out for herself? All about glory and ranks and never about the rest of us? This place almost killed you, almost killed your mom, and all they’re doing is giving you a pin. If someone cared about you, they’d tell you what I’m telling you. You have to take the discharge, Henley.”

Henley paused. She closed her eyes, summoning the strength to say what she needed to. To walk away if she had to. To see what might be happening. “I think...I’m finally understanding what I’m supposed to do with my life...and someone who cared about me would respect and understand that...and you don’t get it at all.”

“Henley.”

Henley clutched at the ends of her sleeves, worn and tattered, barely little more than strings, “Just because you hate the army doesn’t mean that what I can do doesn’t matter. I can do something important here. And...what happened...if I can work to make sure it doesn’t happen again to anyone else, how could I possibly walk away? I never came here to keep my head down and wait until I could leave. I’m not going to start now. Ramshorn-Collars are smart, and powerful, and we don’t abandon what we believe in or the people we care about.”

“You believe in the army? In the people who almost killed you?”

“If they almost killed me, why would I leave and let them try to kill someone else?” She began walking again, “Loyalty and commitment don’t change just because things get hard.”

She made it back to her room before she slid down to the floor, her chest aching terribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...huh. Damn.
> 
> You know the drill. Cookies for reading. More cookies for a kudos. Cookies galore for commenting.


	11. Dark and Stormy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison smiled, “Can I walk with you today?”
> 
> The smile slipped away, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
> 
> “Oh,” she blinked, “ok.” She unconsciously rested her hand on the scourge hooked to her belt, tapping the leather a few times, “Today? Or...all the time?”
> 
> Henley flexed her fingers anxiously, her nerves buzzing uncomfortably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post Second Round.

She could feel the rain rolling in, hovering just out of reach, the skies hinting at darkness, clouds forming, grey and sleek, as she reached the top of the stairs and pushed through the door, adjusting her grip on her notebook full of observations and questions from the upper level discourse she’d sat through while Carter rattled off a story starring one of the first year blaster cadets who had attempted to sneak into the Necro building to see ‘some cool death shit.’

Suffice to say, that cadet was mopping floors in between guard duty rounds patrolling the grounds and receiving the stink eye from her CO and every officer in the vicinity whenever her head so much as popped up.

As the soldiers’ feet touched the earth, Henley couldn’t help but glance over to the side casually, scanning the nearby area.

There was no one there.

She didn’t know if she was happy about that or not. 

Her stomach clenched uncomfortably, and she tightened her hold, eyes cutting back to her compatriots when one of them gave her a friendly nudge. Moving her focus back to the story, ignoring the way a slight pain streaked across her chest and down into her belly, a flash out of the corner of her eye had her looking back one last time.

Allison was full out sprinting, jacket flapping wildly, face red and once neatly pulled back hair splattered across her face, the formerly proud bun half undone and about to fully fall apart. The blaster stumbled to a stop, clearly swaying but not giving in, standing tall instead of bending over to catch her breath.

Henley felt another nudge to her shoulder.

Biting her lip, she tossed the other necros a nod and a goodbye before slowly making her way over to the older witch, “You don’t have to come here every day.”

Allison sucked in a lungful of air greedily, “I don’t have to walk with a pretty girl either. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

Henley eyed her, “Seriously, Allison.”

“Seriously.” Allison motioned weakly at her notebook, “Should I offer to carry that or is that pushing too far?”

Henley didn’t move.

Allison had shown up almost every day, sometimes a few seconds late, but always in the same spot.

It was ridiculous.

It was almost endearing.

It was confusing how it both stung her heart but made her shoulders not feel quite so heavy.

“I got the message, Allison. You really don’t have to show up.”

Allison finally seemed to catch her breath, “I want to. I like seeing you. I like talking with you.” Her grin was just this side of charming in its seriousness, “I’ll keep telling you until you believe me...and I’ll probably keep telling you after that. I want to be here. Talking. Walking. Anything. If you want me to go, I’ll go. But, I’m here. However you want. However you need.”

The shorter girl exhaled lowly, “Allison,”

“Did you know this shortcut is really fast across base? The one they do during basic...the sprint. Not the one the instructors make us do.”

Whatever she was going to say dropped away, “The Sprint of Shame?”

“That one.” Allison nodded, “I had forgotten about it, but it’s actually really useful.”

“You use the Sprint of Shame path?”

“It works.” 

Henley couldn’t help but chuckle, “Wow. Ok.”

Allison smiled, “Can I walk with you today?”

The smile slipped away, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Oh,” she blinked, “ok.” She unconsciously rested her hand on the scourge hooked to her belt, tapping the leather a few times, “Today? Or...all the time?”

Henley flexed her fingers anxiously, her nerves buzzing uncomfortably.

“I want you,” Allison vowed. “I’m always going to want you. I know you...you might not want me back.” She scoffed, “You don’t want me back. But, I’m here. Chance or no chance. If there is a chance, I’ve told you, I’ll take it.”

“You really would be ok if I told you no?”

She would truly be fine if Henley told her she didn’t want her? Would never want her again?

Allison took a few seconds before answering, a mournful tick to her words, and a distance in her gaze, “No...but I’d accept it.”

Henley pressed the pads of her fingers against her forehead, right above her eyebrow, doing her best to will away all the bubbling brewing emotions inside. It was confusing and painful and yet seeing those green eyes still made her smile. 

Allison could still make her smile.

It was hard.

It was so hard.

“How about I go?” Allison offered as the silence dragged on. “Maybe we could get breakfast soon. They might finally serve chocolate chip pancakes in the mess hall like you’ve wanted since you got here. If you want. Just...I’m not leaving you. I like spending time with you.” She glanced away, wetting her lips, “I’m not sure I haven’t lost you completely. You’ve had a lot to think about, and I...I don’t know.”

“I don’t need more time to think.” All she had been doing since she woke up in the infirmary was think.

All she’d been doing for days...weeks...months before that was think.

Sometimes things made sense and other times they didn’t. Sometimes, all she could remember was how it felt to hear that Allison lied to her, chose someone else, made love to someone else. Sometimes, she could only think about how good it felt to curl up against her side on lazy afternoons, trading soft kisses and whispered words, hands tangled together.

Sometimes, she wondered how she could ever trust her.

Sometimes, she wanted to tell her everything.

Most of the time, she didn’t want to think about it at all. She was tired of thinking. There was so much she could focus on, did focus on. Her job. Her studies. 

Important things.

But, then it would be late at night, her mind half asleep on the verge of falling into the throes of slumber, and she’d remember.

A deep breath puffed up the taller witch’s chest, “Your commendation ceremony is tomorrow, right? I was planning on going. Sneaking in, since no one other than the necro officers were invited. I know you don’t care, but it’s great to see Command recognize what the rest of us have always known.” A tiny tilt of a smile, “I’ll bring some of the wine I know my neighbor has been hoarding. If you want, we can have a toast together afterwards and go throw the pin in the lake. If you don’t...I’ll still be there for you. You can even have the wine.” She gave her scourge one last tap, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Henley locked her jaw to hold in the swirling mess in her head as Allison leaned over and gently pecked her cheek before wandering away.

* * *

Henley marched down the hallway, heedless of the curious glances and whispers in her wake from the cadets peeking out from their dorms or leisurely walking down the passageway, preparing themselves to bunker down for the night as the weather turned even more sour, a rainstorm turning into a battle in the sky with thunder and lightning as the weapons of choice.

Barely stopping, she reached the closed door she was seeking, finger quickly drawing the symbol to unlock it, and rammed it open, slamming it shut behind her as she strode in.

The words came out hot and fast.

“Do you love me?”

The brunette panted heavily, chest rapidly rising and falling in a chaotic rhythm from her long trek in the downpour and her own reeling feelings. Her body strained against the soaked clothes clinging tightly to her lithe frame, her heart constricted painfully, mind a jumbled mess, yet the deepest parts of her soul gasping for what it needed, far beyond anything the rest of her being could even fathom. Water dripped down her face and began to puddle on the floor at her feet, sinking into the wood. 

She didn’t care.

She didn’t even feel it.

She didn’t feel the way a few strands were glued to her face, hands shaking, throat closing as frustration and anger and disappointment and pain and heartbreak and every other emotion imaginable burned the back of her tongue and screamed inside her chest.

She didn’t know tears welled up in her eyes, matching the droplets streaming down her cheeks.

She didn’t know, didn’t feel, didn’t care, because all that existed in that moment, in that very small modicum of time, was pounding in her eardrums and standing before her.

“Henley?” Allison startled, not expecting the other girl to show up, least of all wet and blurting out words that didn’t register for half a second, brain having to work past the surprise and alarm of her appearing through her locked door. Or even appearing at all. She dropped the scourge deft fingers had been oiling, the leather landing next to the freshly laid out dress uniform, crisp and clean and perfectly creased. “What’s going on?” Bright green eyes grew concerned, matching the worry in her voice, “Are you ok? You’re soaked.”

Henley didn’t move. Entire body shivering, from the storm raging outside or the feelings crashing in her belly, she didn’t know. All she knew was that her heart hurt and her mind ached and her body led her there. “Do you love me?”

Allison swayed forward, wanting to go to her, grab her, hold her, do something. But, she didn’t. 

She didn’t.

Henley wasn’t hers.

And, damn it, she wouldn’t have cared before. Would have swept her up and held her close, and charmed her into smiling again.

Into her bed.

Not now.

Not anymore.

“Yes.” Fists quivered at her sides, “I love you, Henley.”

Henley sucked in a sharp gasp, lips trembling, the pale pink turning a shade of blue as the cold set in. The rain and wind whipped harder outside, rattling the window and smashing against the brick wall, doing everything in its power to let itself be known, to break through the feeble barriers humans erected in its path. Leave destruction in its wake...but also life. Green and beautiful and alive, if only it survived.

Green, like the color of the eyes watching Henley as she shook and rocked and glared through her tears, face so near to breaking it was a wonder she even held on this long.

“How can I trust you?” Henley choked out, “You _lied_ to me.”

Allison’s hands clasped behind her back, a soldier at attention, ready to hear her reprimand. 

Preparing for the onslaught.

“Don’t!” Henley threw a vicious hand up, “Don’t do that.” 

Allison blinked, confused, “Hen?”

“You _broke my heart_!” Henley cried out. Her hand flung wildly, “You hurt me. You know it. You don’t lie to people you love!” Tears crashed at her feet, staining her already dripping shirt, sobs caught in the back of her throat and painting the roof of her mouth bitterly, “You stand there like you’re at parade or inspection or your damn mother’s house!”

Allison’s shoulders dropped, any semblance of perfect posture gone.

“I wanted everything with you.” Henley choked out. “I wanted you so much. I _loved_ you.”

Allison wet her lips, hands clasped together, pain shooting up her arms, nails digging into her skin to give her something to focus on besides the way the younger witch openly wept in front of her, a tangled mess of beauty and fury and despair.

“You think I don’t know what people say? About me? My family?” Henley smacked her chest, “I know, Allison! I know. I thought you were there _with_ me. Beside me.” She sniffed, “I thought you would hold my hand.”

Allison bit back against the sting in her eyes.

“I thought I met my future.” Henley dug her hand into her shirt, hanging on the edge with only one hand keeping her from plummeting into the abyss, “I thought I met someone who loved me back.”

The first tear broke through, quickly followed by another, then another, “I do.”

Henley shook her head, “How could you?”

How could she say that and do what she did?

How could she lie?

How could she be with anyone else?

How could she hurt her?

How could she ruin them?

“You’re not stupid, Allison. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re so cocky,” she croaked, a mournful chuckle, “You made me feel safe. You made me feel ok. Like...no matter what happened, I could crawl into your arms, and it’d be ok.”

Lightning flashed outside.

“You hurt me.” Henley locked her jaw, “You left me alone. You...the things you said…how you treated me...”

Allison blinked against the sheen covering her gaze, vision blurry.

Henley squeezed her eyes shut, “I thought...out of everyone...you were the one I could believe in.”

It hurt.

Her lungs.

Her chest.

Her heart.

Her soul.

“I love you.” Allison’s words wobbled on the wave of tears rolling through her body, “I’m sorry. I am sorry.”

Henley clung harder to her shirt, head tipping back.

“I don’t know how to make you trust me. I...I don’t know what to do...how to do this…”

“Damn it, Allison, you were!” Henley snapped her chin back down, “We were! We were together, and we were happy!” Her cheeks glowed red, “Stop. You’re not dumb. You know how to be with me. You know what this is. You know how to do this. You know.”

They had been happy.

They had been together

They had been good.

Goddess, it hurt to ask, “Have you always been sleeping with other people?”

“No!” Allison all but shouted, “Not...not after we...you were always there and...and you were all I saw. I didn’t understand it. But, it was you. I wanted you. We didn’t even have sex yet, and I was...I did everything because of you.” She inhaled deeply, trying to make some sort of sense, “I got scared. I...I got selfish. I...I forgot how much I had to lose. That I could lose. Everyone was telling me...”

“How long until you forget again?”

“I am trying. I want to try. I’ve never failed at anything until I failed you. And, maybe all I can do is fail right now, because I’m failing at everything. But, I am still trying.” 

“Why?”

Why was she trying?

Why was she even sticking around?

Why were they both standing there crying?

“You make me feel things I’ve never felt with anyone else. That I can’t feel with anyone else.” She confessed, “I look at you, and all I want to do is make you feel ok. I want you to be as happy and cute and charming and a huge nerd as the first night we met. When we talked, and you wanted to get me flowers.”

“I stopped feeling that way about you.”

Allison faltered, stumbling back a step as if she’d been punched, as if struck by the thunder and wind outside.

“I stopped feeling happy. My heart didn’t...didn’t jump when you were near me. I didn’t forget the world when we kissed. I didn’t feel anything.”

Allison couldn’t look at her anymore. 

Look at what she’d done.

She felt sick.

Henley bit her tremulous lip, staring at her. Staring at the woman she thought had been hers. 

“Why are you here, Henley?” Allison whispered, voice cracking.

She didn’t even have to think of her response. The words flowed freely.

“I want to know if I still love you. If I even can.”

For all that she had figured out, she hadn’t figured out this.

The room tumbled into silence, only the roar of the storm and the flickering of the lights filling the air. Rain splattered the glass of the window, streaks so innumerable it was like a painting, nature thrashing the land and pouring out her grievances, pouring out her soul. The wind whipped through the trees, branches collapsing. Puddles grew to miniature ponds, the lakes overflowing. Lighting crackled, brittle and defiant. Strong. Powerful. White hot and from the hands of the goddess herself.

Henley couldn’t do this any longer.

Everything had been tossing and turning and flipping every which way for so long. A never ending roller coaster ride of thoughts and feelings that had her standing on the precipice of something, toes over the edge, heart and mind and soul and even her bones brimming with emotions and questions and answers that plagued her dreams and thrummed in her blood.

Another crack of thunder, and she snapped.

With a muttered curse, she careened forward. 

Vaulting across the room, she crashed into Allison, grabbing her face and pulling her into a kiss. Hot and wet and messy, she swallowed the other witch’s gasp, tasting the tears and sadness and heart wrenching regret as her tongue dipped inside. Shaking hands hovered before resting on her hips, driving her to kiss harder, a bruising meeting of lips that was too much but not enough, searching, seeking, desperate to find something lost.

To find the feeling inside.

Henley pressed into Allison, shoving her back onto the bed. She ripped off her jacket and shirt, her medal swinging wildly against her bra, and crawled after the dazed woman, draping herself on top of her and taking her mouth in another relentless kiss.

This was what Allison always wanted, right?

Sex. 

This is what she knew. How relationships were supposed to work.

She tugged impatiently at Allison’s shirt, and the taller girl sat up, letting it be pulled off and tossed aside before Henley pushed her back onto the mattress. She dove in, nipping and licking at the side of Allison’s throat, biting harder, teeth scraping and sinking in when hips bucked against her, a low moan echoing in her ear. 

The moan joined the roar of her pounding heart, the shouting of her soul crying out to feel, to not feel, to touch her and be touched and not be so lost.

To have that spark.

She grappled with Allison’s belt, clawing at the buckle blindly.

“Hen,” Allison’s eyes rolled back as Henley nibbled at her pulse, “Fuck. H-Hen…”

Henley ignored her.

Ignored the way her voice sounded.

Ignored the feel of her, the smell, the taste, the life thrumming through her.

Ignored it, even though it enveloped her completely, filled every one of her senses.

The buckle finally came loose.

Hands that always felt like fixer’s hands landed on her own, dragging them away before they dipped any further. She growled, tried to free them, yanking against the firm yet gentle grip.

She couldn’t break free.

She wasn’t strong enough.

“Henley,” Allison whispered. “Stop.”

Henley tried to ignore her.

Tried to ignore the rumbling in her chest.

“Stop, sweetheart.” Allison squeezed her wrists.

Henley didn’t want to stop.

If she stopped…

If she stopped, she wouldn’t be able to breathe.

Allison nudged her, wiggling slightly but remaining under her.

She didn’t move away.

Didn’t leave.

Didn’t take control.

Didn’t shove Henley away.

Stayed there, heart erratic, knees slowly bending to cradle the smaller girl close.

Henley couldn’t look at her, kept her face pressed into the crook of her shoulder. In the spicy sweet scent of leather, oil, and apples. She wanted to kiss her. Touch her. Not succumb to the tears once more.

Not be a sobbing mess again.

She wanted it to stop hurting.

She wanted to not feel this way anymore.

To not keep going through her days, completely focused on her training, only to go back to her dorm alone or catch herself looking for a flash of hypnotizing eyes and a confident grin when she stepped out of the Necro building. Unsure if spotting the familiar face hurt as much as not seeing it.

She couldn't look into green eyes. Too terrified of what would be reflected back. Too scared of the feelings filling her, haunting her, ghosts that refused to go away. Phantoms she didn’t know were real or not.

What they even were.

Allison gingerly turned her head, nosing at wild wet tangles, “Henley.”

Henley pressed her mouth into pliant skin, fighting against the emotions churning and making her feel like she was falling and flying and cascading through time and space with nothing to hold, nothing to anchor her to the world, to where she wanted to be.

She had almost lost every single person she loved, sometimes felt scared and alone and so incredibly anxious.

Was finally figuring everything out, except this.

Wasn’t sure if she was telling herself one single simple lie or not. If she did know.

If she couldn’t bring herself to face the truth.

To find out if the cuts and tears in her shredded heart could only be healed by the one who helped put them there.

Someone who might not be willing to sew her back up.

Who refused to acknowledge they even knew how.

Allison cautiously let go of one wrist, warm fingers weaving back brunette locks to reveal the tear and rain splotched face, cheeks flushed and as pretty as she’d ever seen.

Henley trembled at the tender touch.

She shook harder as Allison nuzzled the slope of her jaw, the arch of her cheek.

“Hen,” Allison’s voice was soft, soothing, like a blanket, like her quilt, on a cold winter’s night. The slight catch in the blaster’s throat was the only indication she was shaking just as badly as Henley.

Henley slowly lifted her head, barely a fraction of an inch, tilting it toward the voice, her cheek landing in the safety of a palm.

Allison hesitated for a moment before pushing in slowly, so very slowly.

Henley let her kiss her.

The lightest of kisses. A mere touch of the lips. Sweet. Gentle. Almost shy.

Loving.

A first kiss.

A kiss she felt inside.

As they broke apart unhurriedly, Allison leaned her forehead against Henley’s, her voice little more than a breath, “We’ll figure it out. You and me. No matter what, I’m here.” She rubbed the pad of her thumb along her cheek, “I promise. I choose you. Let me choose you.”

“Let me make you fall in love with me again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...huh. What that heck does that all even mean? 
> 
> As always, adore you all for taking the time to read. High-five for a kudos and double high five for a comment.


	12. Rusty Nail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letting out a sigh, she reached for her water, glancing up toward the nearby television tuned to the local news, a story about a new shop in downtown Salem opening that day flashing across the screen, the over enthusiastic broadcaster prancing around with his microphone in front of the banner laden storefront.
> 
> She caught a glimmer of something out of the corner of her eye and tilted her head to get a better look.
> 
> Her stomach plummeted, nerve-endings along her arms and fingers sparking, burning, with ice.
> 
> She felt sick.
> 
> This couldn’t be happening.

Faded washed out green chunks of iceberg lettuce filled the tiny square on her dull chipped beige mess hall tray, tiny circular slices of carrot and a random slippery stringy cut of a red onion settled on top. Skylar poked the tins of her fork at the bland food, moving them around before spearing a bite of cornbread from the neighboring compartment and bringing it to her mouth, chewing and swallowing the dry crumbly texture, taking a gulp of her water to help knock the mush back.

The room was busy, cadets roaming around with trays of food and mugs of coffee or cups of water, plopping down at tables or standing around chatting amicably. Lunchtime was always busier than breakfast, more soldiers opting to catch a full meal once they’d had a bit of training for the day and caught a few more seconds of sleep in the morning instead of dragging their half awake selves down for a mouthful of fruit and a swig of something resembling a caffeine jolt on their way to class or the training fields.

Fiddling with the handle of her fork, Skylar kept her eyes on her food, ignoring the other people hovering around her trading stories about their first time using salva. Her mind was on other things than stories from Basic and trying to one-up her classmates with puffed up stories of unthinkable heroics and bravery in a controlled training exercise where it was literally impossible to do what they said they did.

Her mind was focused on one thing at that exact moment.

Henley was staying.

She was given a discharge and didn’t take it.

Skylar bit the inside of her cheek, chewing half in anxious thought and half in frustrated remembrance.

That was not how Skylar had envisioned their first real meeting going after Henley woke up.

She laughed quietly at herself.

She thought Henley would want to talk. Want to sip tea. Ramble on about something that happened in her class or confide to her about how she was really feeling about everything that happened to her. Let Skylar be there for her. Like they had been before the accident. Like all those nights spent together in the Rec Room or one of their dorms. 

She had tried to give Henley the time and space she needed to process all that had happened to her, because a lot had happened. Not crowd her or bug her. Be patient. Wait for her. Not be in her face, forcing her to think or feel or act a certain way or even at all. When Henley was finally ready, Skylar would be there.

She would always be there.

Seeing her again, being able to talk with her, had felt amazing. She looked so beautiful in just her sweatshirt and with that grin of hers.

Like the girl Skylar met that very first night, roaming around for a spot and stumbling upon the brunette perched in the Rec Room.

But, then Henley started talking about staying and...of course Henley had talked about being in the army like that before, but she hadn’t been in an explosion that should have killed her before, either. 

Henley almost died.

Died.

How could she be ok with that? Want to stay? She was given the chance to leave, to get away from all this, away from rigid regimented schedules and officers who didn’t care. The yelling and the constant risk. The chance of getting hurt. 

Of dying.

Goddess, Henley had so many options. So many things she could do.

Why would she stay there?

Skylar gently set down her fork, hand moving to grip the edge of the table. 

They argued, and now Skylar hadn’t seen her anywhere, caught up in her own classes and Henley not returning to the Rec Room when Skylar tried to stop by late at night, always finding it empty and silent, almost morbidly cold in its dark quietness. 

Her chest ached, and she rubbed unconsciously at the pain.

Maybe if she hadn't been so forceful when she tried to make Henley see reason. But, Henley wasn’t listening. 

Henley hadn’t been the one to see herself in that infirmary room. Unmoving. Not waking up.

The ache in her chest grew as she pictured the other witch in her head, her mind easily forming those sparkling mischievously brilliant blue eyes and intelligent mirthful grin that could turn soft as the dew on the morning grass when directed at her. Intricate braids weaved so casually in her hair that would frame her face and make her elegant jaw and sloping cheeks dance in the sunlight.

She was so beautiful.

Skylar missed her.

Missed the way they would talk. The way they could sit quietly together, reading or studying. The way the brunette could rattle off Work and theories like it was nothing and sound so excited when she did so, face lighting up and hands helping to explain. 

She missed the way they could laugh together. 

The way Henley made her feel happier than she had ever been in this place. 

The comforting quiet of simply knowing she was there. Strong and solid and present. Someone that, when she glanced up from her own notes, was curled up close by, tucked into her chair and scanning her own book, eyes following the words and fingers sometimes fiddling with her sleeve or the page of the book as she turned it, mouth forming each consonant and vowel it came across.

Letting out a sigh, she reached for her water, glancing up toward the nearby television tuned to the local news, a story about a new shop in downtown Salem opening that day flashing across the screen, the over enthusiastic broadcaster prancing around with his microphone in front of the banner laden storefront.

She caught a glimmer of something out of the corner of her eye and tilted her head to get a better look.

Her stomach plummeted, nerve-endings along her arms and fingers sparking, burning, with ice.

She felt sick.

This couldn’t be happening.

Henley walked into the room, uniform jacket partially done up, the black shirt she wore underneath peeking out, braids curled around her ears and a crooked half grin spreading into something larger as she looked at the person beside her.

Allison Todd held Henley’s hand, bumping her shoulder playfully before dramatically wiggling her eyebrows and saying something Skylar couldn’t make out above the din of the room, but it caused Henley to roll her eyes and chuckle. The easiness seemed to die away after a moment, a touch of seriousness enveloping the duo. Allison’s shoulders visibly rose and fell with a deep heavy breath as her lips pressed together, forming a thin muted line. Henley's head ducked away from the jade orbs, crooked grin flickering and the corners of her eyes crinkling, brow almost trembling with uncertainty. Allison tapped her free hand against the scourge hooked to her side, mouth moving after a few beats, forming words that refused to reach Skylar’s ears. The speck of tenseness around Henley’s lips turned tender, and she looked back at the taller girl, wetting her lips before replying back with a tiny shrug of a shoulder.

Skylar gulped, eyes dropping to the way their hands were linked, fingers laced, a light hold that wasn’t breaking, wasn’t disappearing, as they walked further into the room. Not fully secure, not squeezed so close it seemed as if they were one, but there. 

It was there.

They were holding hands.

For a second, Skylar felt like she couldn’t breathe. Like her jacket had suddenly grown two sizes too small and an invisible fist had slammed into her, knocking the air out of her body while all the oxygen in the room evaporated.

Blinking almost dazedly, she lifted her gaze to see Henley’s land on her.

Like a dagger, the air caught in her lungs, quick and sharp, a brutal severe strike, as those blue eyes softened.

Henley turned to Allison, squeezing her hand as she whispered to her. Allison frowned but nodded, saying something back before stepping away, their hands parting. The taller woman cast a look at Skylar, green eyes unreadable except for a thread of something nearly resembling acceptance or perhaps a challenging curiosity gliding through, before she made her way around a group of first years and toward the table of mugs and coffee dispensers, her path leading her to the one marked ‘Hot Water.’

Skylar snapped her head back around once those green eyes had vanished to face the drinks selection. Henley walked toward her, pivoting around a table, and sidestepping a soldier carrying a ramshackle stack of trays and juggling a few empty mugs.

Skylar held on harder to the edge of the table, wanting to sink in on herself.

“Hey, Sky.” Henley greeted, voice smooth and quiet yet louder than anything else in the room.

“Hi.” Skylar couldn’t stop the way her mouth started to lift with a smile.

The brunette still made her smile.

Henley peered around at the feeding frenzy chaos, “Want to get out of here?”

“What?”

Henley lifted her chin nodding toward the door, “Go outside. Maybe we can talk?”

Talk.

Outside.

Away from everyone else.

Skylar nodded, a sense of dread battling with delight rolling in her belly and tingling her fingertips. She got up, snagging her tray and mug. They awkwardly meandered over to the trash area, leaving the remnants of the lunch behind, and picked their way to the door, escaping the heated loud cacophony. The two silently walked down the hall and out the door, taking a few steps before either spoke up.

Skylar looked down at the toes of her boots while they walked, watching the way the black scuffed along the pavement. She could feel Henley’s hand swinging close to hers, the edges of their palms almost brushing, a whisper of warmth.

A whisper of something.

She remembered what it felt like to hold her hand while Henley was asleep in the infirmary.

She could also remember how angry and disappointed Henley looked when Skylar tried to make her see reason about the army. About her choice. Her own fiery words desperate to get Henley to understand. 

The same way she could recall the lilt of the necro’s laugh when they attempted to play pool together. How happy she had felt in that moment. How happy they both had been. 

“I miss you.”

Time stopped. Skylar felt the whole world freeze and her eyes sting at the admission. She silently cleared her throat before mumbling, “I miss you, too.”

Henley sighed, pushing her hair further behind her ear, “I’m sorry about the fight. I didn’t...I don’t want to fight with you, Sky.”

Skylar swallowed, throat bobbing, “I don’t want to fight with you, either.”

She never wanted to fight with her.

Henley waved her hand, “I don’t know. I just...it felt like you didn’t support me. Wouldn’t support me. I didn’t think you would throw me a party or anything, but I thought...what you think means something to me. It matters. I understand you don’t get it. Get why I’m doing what I’m doing. Why I’m here.”

She really didn’t.

“I don’t need your approval. But, I wanted to tell you. Share this with you. Because, I’ve been thinking about it so much. It’s important. It’s _my life._ How could I not want to tell you?”

They made their way to a patch of grass, a young oak tree shading them from view. Henley turned to face the fixer, the crinkle around her eyes more pronounced in its worry and regret, “You’re...you mean a lot to me, Sky. So much. I care about you a lot. Not being able to talk with you. Knowing we’re not talking because we are fighting is...because of what I want...who I am...it’s really hard.”

Skylar nodded, fingers itching to move, to wrap her arms around herself, to take Henley’s hand and reassure her it was ok. It was hard. Her heart leapt to her throat as her mind processed what Henley had said. “I care about you, too. I hate fighting.” She forced out a tiny smile, “Even when you think you’re good at pool.”

“We never played.” Henley exhaled, eyes glinting before the bout of teasing drifted away, “I mean it, Sky. You’re one of my best friends.”

Best friend.

A cozy warmth trickled inside at the knowledge she meant something to Henley, that she was important to her, mattered.

And yet.

She did everything she could not to flinch. To not succumb to the glacial ice overtaking the crackling embers sparking in her chest, dousing away whatever joy popped up and teased her soul.

“I know you don’t agree with me. But, I still want to be your friend. If you want to be mine. I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you. Especially not because of this.” She tried to huff jokingly, “Who else is going to teach me to play pool?”

Skylar could barely nod, “Of course.”

Of course she’d still be there for her.

Her friend.

Just a friend.

She never knew that word could hurt so much.

“I’m always going to be here for you, Hen.” Skylar promised. “You mean more to me than...anyone.”

They both stood there, Skylar unable to keep the question out of her mind. Pinching her lips together, she choked out the words, “You’re with Allison again?”

Her chest seized as the syllables dribbled from her lips.

This couldn’t be happening.

It couldn’t be true.

Yes, they had been holding hands...but…

Henley wouldn’t do that.

Wouldn’t hurt herself like that.

Wouldn’t go back to someone who broke her trust.

Why did she even ask that?

Henley blinked, emotions appearing in her eyes and sweeping along her face, “We talked. We’re talking.”

Talked.

What did that even mean?

Why would Henley talk to her?

“She left you.”

She hurt her.

Went behind her back. 

Didn’t care at all what she was doing, had done, to Henley.

Why would Henley listen to her?

“She came back.” Henley grasped the chain of her medal, “We’re talking. We’re...we’re seeing what happens, how this works. _If_ it works.”

Skylar shoved her hands in her pockets, shoulders hunching, “She hurt you.”

“I know.” Henley’s chin quivered the tiniest bit, “But…” she gave a self-deprecating shrug, “I love her.”

Skylar felt her heart stop and the world drop out from under her feet.

Love.

She still loved Allison.

Even after everything she had done to her.

She wanted to laugh. To cry. To walk away and curl up somewhere no one could find her.

To think, she thought maybe Henley could see her, had seen her.

That she ever had a chance.

In a small part of her heart, she thought maybe they could be...something.

A small part that, even if she never truly had a chance, never thought it’d be so blatantly proven.

The part locked up deep down inside that imagined a future with a different talk. With Henley knowing and understanding and pressing into her, saying everything Skylar couldn't, hadn't, but both getting that it was there, that both of them felt this way. 

She never thought she’d have to face this.

Not this.

Henley swiped at her eyes, “I know you probably think it’s dumb, but...I can’t help it.”

“You’re sure?” Had Allison told her something? Made her choose her? The blaster had been with Henley all the time after the accident, pushing her. 

_Skylar rocked on her heels, eyeing Henley’s now closed door a moment longer before turning and walking back down the hallway. She could give her time. All the time in the world._

_A shoulder bumped into her, a hand grabbing her upper arm, “Dobbins.”_

_Startled, Skylar tripped away, eyebrows knitting together and mouth dipping angrily as she came face to face with Allison. Righting herself, she glared, “What do you want?”_

_Allison glanced down the hallway toward Henley’s room before looking back at her, “Did you talk with Henley?”_

_“Why?”_

_Was she not allowed to talk to her now?_

_“Did you or not?”_

_Skylar noticed the worry in the green, a weariness in the angles of the blaster’s face, “No.”_

_“Have you talked to her at all?”_

_Skylar shook her head._

_No._

_Henley wasn’t ready to talk._

_Allison huffed, spinning on her heel toward the door._

_“Wait,” Skylar snagged her sleeve._

_“What?”_

_Skylar swallowed, inhaling deeply, giving herself a mental boost of steely resolve, “She needs time. You can’t just barge in there. You can’t force your way on everyone and expect them to do as you want.”_

_Allison shook her head, arm twisting free, “Whatever.”_

_“No, Allison. She needs space. She’ll talk when she wants to talk, and she doesn’t want to talk right now. If she doesn’t want to see anyone, she doesn’t have to. Let her...deal with whatever she needs to how she wants to. Leave her alone.”_

_Allison stared at her for a moment. Skylar felt the urge to fidget under the intensity, but held her ground. Then, the blaster stepped closer, her voice dropping, “Did you ask if she was eating?”_

_“What?” Skylar blinked, caught off guard by the question._

_“Food. Eating. Did you ask if she was? Did you ask if she was sleeping? If she’s gone anywhere besides where she’s been ordered to? Is talking to anyone? Her friends?”_

_Skylar met her gaze, “If she needs time…”_

_“Henley is the most stubborn person you will ever meet.” Allison interrupted her. “And for all she likes to say she wants to be open about things, she will shut everyone else out right now, and she will not help herself. She will focus on everything else except her own needs.” Her eyes were solid stone, “You can give her time and space and whatever else. I’m going to make sure she gets her head out of her ass and goes to the mess hall for dinner.”_

_Skylar stood there, teeth clenched, as Allison strode to the door and knocked before turning the handle and going inside._

Had Allison forced Henley to give her another chance?

Was this what Henley wanted?

Did she actually love her?

Was she sure?

“No,” Henley huffed sadly, “I’m really not. It’s...it’s confusing and scary. It’s painful. It hurts so much, Sky. But...I don’t know. I can’t imagine her not being there. I...I look at her sometimes, and it’s still there, you know? I still feel something. Maybe...maybe it’s nothing. Maybe I’m fooling myself or pretending like this is going to work when it’s not, but I have to at least try. I have to know.”

Skylar bit harshly against the burning in the back of her throat and the sting in her eyes.

Henley fiddled with the chain before lowering her hand to gesture, “I know you don’t like her. Don’t think we should be together.”

“It doesn’t matter what I want.” Skylar got out past the lump in her throat.

Henley rubbed at her forehead, “Sky,”

Skylar rocked on her heels, not knowing what to say. What to feel besides the desperate painful regret and heartbreak clawing at her soul.

Of course Henley went back to Allison.

Of course she did.

Skylar never stood a chance.

“She’s going to hurt you again.” she muttered.

“Maybe.” Henley bit her lip, “Maybe I’ll hurt her. Maybe...maybe it’s a mistake. Maybe she loves me, and we can be happy. I don’t know, Sky. But, I can’t keep wondering. I can’t keep going back and forth in my head with all these what-ifs.” 

Skylar closed her eyes, shaking her head.

Shaking it at what Henley was saying.

At the feelings roiling in her stomach, causing her muscles to clench.

At everything.

“Allison is there. She...she gets me. Sometimes she can be an idiot, goddess, can she act dumb. She can hurt me so much. She did. I don’t think anyone has hurt me as much as she has.” She sucked in a shivering breath, a sheen of tears beginning to coat her eyes, “She’s still the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. I was so unhappy with her for so long but...we were happy once. She made me happy. She’s trying to make me happy now. Sometimes she does. She makes me really really happy.” She rubbed at her eyes, “She understands me. She doesn’t get anything about what I do, necromancy, but...she’s listened when I’ve talked about what I’m scared of. What I think about. Everything with my parents and my aunts and...everything else. She knows what it’s like to know you’re going to serve, when your entire family has served. What it’s like to see your family all over Memorial Hall. She...knows me.”

Skylar could only nod, not trusting her voice.

“She can make me laugh. She...it hurts but I can look at her, look into her eyes, and...I felt something, Sky. She holds me like she used to and...I think there’s still something there. For both of us. It’s hard and so so confusing but...I feel it sometimes. And...I know she feels it, too. I feel safe with her.”

“I get it.” Skylar coughed.

She really did not need to hear anymore about Allison.

Henley nodded, “We both deserve to find out if it’s really still there. Or...or if there’s something new we can be. Or if it’s nothing at all.”

Skylar locked her jaw so tight it made her head hurt and teeth scream in agony.

Henley slowly paced back, putting a step between them, “I don’t even know if that made sense. I...I’m trying to figure everything out. I want my friend there with me. I count on you, Sky. I hope you know you can count on me. Even if we fight, I still care about you. I’m sorry. Are we ok?”

Friend.

They were friends.

They were only ever friends. 

“We’re ok.” She wanted to snap her mouth shut after that. Be quiet. Yet, she couldn’t. The words somehow fell out, “Was it always going to be her?” Her voice trembled, “Was it always going to be Allison for you?”

Henley stared at her for a beat, curiosity and something the fixer couldn’t make out deep in her gaze. The necro tilted her head back in thought and stared up at the sky before responding, blue eyes lowering to hold onto brown, “No. I don’t even know if she...if this is going anywhere right now. But, she’s...with everything that’s happened, she’s the only one I’ve ever been certain about. She’s there. She’s...she’s trying, too. For the longest time, she’s the only one I ever saw. I ever wanted. Then...it got hard and...no one else tried, Sky. I thought...maybe...but...no one else has tried...said anything.” She flexed her fingers, “She’s here. She’s been here. If I can fall in love with Allison again, and she is in love with me, I’m going to work for it. I’m going to let her fight for me. I’m going to find out if we can be happy again.”

With that, Henley turned and walked back toward the mess hall. 

Skylar watched her go, unable to hold back the tears as she turned and walked the other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all know how this works. 1 cookie for reading. 2 cookies for reading and kudos. 3 cookies and a hug for reading and commenting.


	13. Shaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In other news, today there was another reported skirmish between the United States military and Chinese armed forces There are a reported fifty casualties with the number of deaths unknown at this time. Tensions escalated into a declaration of war last year when Chinese witches, under the orders of their government, attacked a US Naval ship, the USS Alder, while docked in a Turkish port. The death toll reached into the hundreds and led to countermeasures and a call upon the Hague to condemn the attacks. Chinese and Russian officials, along with those of India, rejected the assertion they were to blame and have vowed to defend themselves and their allies in what has become, to some, the beginning of another world war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. Looks like this series is finishing up. Who saw that coming? Not me! Hang on tight, folks. This last one is a bit of a doozy. Kind of long. Seatbelts fastened? Hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the reading vehicle? No flash pictures, please. Let's go.

**FOUR YEARS LATER**

_In other news, today there was another reported skirmish between the United States military and Chinese armed forces There are a reported fifty casualties with the number of deaths unknown at this time. Tensions escalated into a declaration of war last year when Chinese witches, under the orders of their government, attacked a US Naval ship, the USS Alder, while docked in a Turkish port. The death toll reached into the hundreds and led to countermeasures and a call upon the Hague to condemn the attacks. Chinese and Russian officials, along with those of India, rejected the assertion they were to blame and have vowed to defend themselves and their allies in what has become, to some, the beginning of another world war._

Henley picked up the small scalpel, rubbing the cloth along the sharp edges, thoroughly cleaning the utensil until the metal glinted under the fluorescent lights hanging overhead that illuminated the underground lab. The radio crackled in the background, tuned to a local news station. Her lips pursed as the number of casualties echoed in the chamber. 

Fifty.

How many had it been yesterday?

How many would it be tomorrow?

Setting the scalpel down, she picked up the tray of tools and carried them over to another table, setting them down and flipping open her notebook, skimming her latest thoughts.

She was almost there.

She could feel it.

All she needed was a chance to try. To practice. To see if her ideas were correct.

One chance, and she could prove her new piece of Work was real. Was something that could be used.

Something that could, hopefully, help end this war before anyone else got hurt.

“Hey,” a voice called out, boots squeaking on the floor.

Henley looked over to see Cpl. Jay Turner enter the room, white coat tossed around her shoulders with the top part undone enough to show the white t-shirt she had on underneath. Delicate fingers pushed her rimless glasses up her thin nose, and she lifted her chin at the display, long dirty blonde hair ruffling at the movement, “Isn’t that for the cadets to do?”

Henley shrugged, “I want to make sure everything is ready.”

Jay excitedly bounced toward her, “Did the major finally give you the green light?” 

“Soon,” Henley nodded, “a few are being shipped in a couple of days. Next week at the latest.”

It had taken more than her fair share of pleading and prodding, presenting her research and staying steadfast in her resolve that the Work wouldn’t result in a waste of time, for her superior to give her consent. But, she finally had.

A handful of bodies marked for research were finally becoming available.

One of them was hers.

“Intelligence will be happy if it works.” Jay walked the last bit of distance and leaned against the table. She peeked down at the notebook, “That’s who it’s for, right?”

“Yes,” Henley ran her finger along the scribbled words, “we’ve been using the worst way to get information. The amount of energy needed to get the dead to speak is...it’s Beltane levels.” Her voice grew more excited, “We had been looking at it all wrong. Using arcane archaic forms of Work. It’s so simple, Jay. Fixers link with people. If we can do the same thing, we don’t need the dead to speak. We only need to see their memories. The power within the Death Current is so strong...the memories are still there if we get to the body in time. We can work with the Current, link with the soul and mind before it’s gone, just like fixers do. Tap into those stored memories. We could see what they saw. Tactics. Plans. Troop numbers. Defensive structures. Everything.”

They already connected with bodies on the battlefield to see. Why not take it a step further? See more than through their eyes in that moment, but see through their eyes in all the previous moments beforehand?

If only she could prove it to the top brass.

Jay let out a low whistle, “Sounds intense.”

“It’ll be the same as what a fixer does on the battlefield or in the infirmary. Same amount of energy. Same amount of time. No need for Beltane or anything like that.”

Jay nodded, impressed, “No wonder everyone says you’ll make general before you’re thirty.” 

Henley rolled her eyes, closing her notebook, “I’m not working for a promotion.”

It wasn’t about that.

It had never been about that.

“Well, you better get something with how many hours you’ve been in this place.” Jay hopped up on the table, swinging her legs, “Speaking of which, you dragged yourself out of here for your normal two hours of debauchery. How’d that go?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your date.” She gave her a pointed look, “How’d it go? Was it Simmons? She’s been trying to get you back to her apartment for months.”

“Simmons is not my type, and it wasn’t a date.”

“What?”

“I just met someone for drinks,” Henley shrugged, “Nothing serious.”

“Who is she? Is she a blaster? Fixer?”

“She doesn’t serve. She’s in school. Home for winter break.”

“Oooh, STC?”

“No. Brown.”

“Brown?”

Henley picked up her notebook, “She’s a civilian.”

“Oh,” Jay pursed her lips, “Ok. That’s cool.”

The thread of doubtful surprise let Henley know all she needed to. 

Not that it was Jay’s fault.

Almost everyone would have that reaction.

Even her date had admitted her friends found it curious that she’d agreed to meet up with a witch.

At least the blonde was trying.

Henley walked over to where her bag was tossed on a counter and slid her notebook into it, “Like I said. It was just drinks.”

“Afraid to take a civilian home? I hear they’re stamina is...eh.” Jay hopped down, waving her hand back and forth in a so-so gesture, “Bet your folks would love if you brought one of them home.”

“One of them?”

“A civilian.”

Henley snorted. She was pretty sure her parents wouldn’t care.

Especially her mama.

If anything, her date would be judged on the fact she had ordered a brand name lite beer on tap.

Her mama would judge her on that.

No one should drink cheap lite beer.

“Are you going to see her again?”

“Maybe. She’s home for a few more days.”

The girl had been cute. Smart. Interested.

Henley had a good time with her, even with her not so great taste in drinks.

Could probably take her back to her place if she wanted to next time.

“There’s a new restaurant opening in town. You two should go there.” Jay suggested.

“Are you going to take Skylar there?” Henley slyly asked, closing her bag and glancing at her watch.

She needed to leave soon.

“W-What?” Jay stammered, her confident tone disappearing in an instant.

It was almost cute.

Henley raised an eyebrow, “When are you going to ask Skylar out?”

Because those two had been dancing around each other for so long she would be astonished if there wasn’t a betting pool going on somewhere.

“Ask her out?” Jay crossed her arms then quickly uncrossed them, foot tapping against the floor loudly, “Why would...I’m not…”

Henley smiled in amusement as her normally self-assured friend stumbled over her words.

Jay finally exhaled, picking at her nail, “I don’t think she’s into me.”

Henley almost laughed out loud.

Ok, she might have giggled a tiny bit.

It was ridiculous.

“She’s into you.” Henley smirked.

Oh, was she into her.

“How can you be sure? Has she said something?” Jay adjusted her glasses, “She’s hard to read, you know? Sometimes it seems like she feels something. She’ll be really cute and charming but then...she’s acting like we’re barely friends and pulls so far back I feel like she’s going to run away. She can be so quiet, which is...it’s nice. It’s calming...or something. When she talks, you really want to listen. She doesn't just say something to say something or fill air. She’s thoughtful. I like that. But, then she doesn’t say something or she looks at me and...I don’t know. Maybe she just wants to be friends? She hasn’t made a move, but I know she went out with that third year for a while, so, maybe it’s me?”

Henley bit her lip, searching for the right thing to say, “Skylar is...she likes you, Jay. She talks about you, and she never talks about anyone.”

The first time Skylar casually mentioned Jay, Henley almost fell out of her chair and spilled her tea.

She was pretty sure Skylar blushed for half an hour.

“What does she say?”

“Ask her to dinner and find out for yourself.”

“Maybe,” she scratched the back of her neck and fiddled with her glasses, “she’s just...she’s really cool. I don’t want to mess that up if she doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t want to make it super awkward.”

“You won’t.”

Jay narrowed her eyes in thought, “Did you two ever...you know...were you two ever together? Not that it matters but...”

Henley blinked, eyes drifting to the side for a moment, “No. We were never together.”

Maybe. If things had been different. If they had been different. If Henley wasn’t so unsure about what Skylar wanted, what she wanted...if there hadn’t been other feelings and people.

Maybe.

But, that wasn’t what happened.

That wasn’t how it was.

And now, Skylar was one of the most important people in her life. Family.

“She’s one of my best friends.” Henley added. “And, she really likes you. Go for it.”

“Ok. Yeah. I’ll...I’ll think about it.” Jay nodded to herself. “Yeah.”

“Think about what?”

Jay froze in pure horror.

Henley had to bite down hard on her tongue to stop herself from laughing.

She might have chuckled out loud.

She at least smirked, but she tried to hide it behind her hand.

Skylar awkwardly walked into the room, brown eyes dancing between the two necros. She was bundled up from head to toe, the chill of the evening wafting off her uniform.

“Nothing. Stuff. Henley’s project.” Jay spun around, a giant grin lighting up her face, “Hey, Sky.”

Skylar smiled gently, offering a crooked little grin that crinkled her nose and revealed a tiny dimple, “Hey, Jay.”

“Are you done for the day?” The infirmary had been almost nonstop busy that week. Busy since war was declared, to be fair. 

Skylar nodded, shifting her weight from one leg to the other and back again, “Yeah.”

“Cool. That’s cool. Um...what brings you by? Here to listen to Henley talk more about her project?”

“Oh...no. I was.” She shrugged, “I thought you might be here.”

Jay’s smile somehow got even bigger, “Me?”

“Yeah.” She rubbed at the back of her head, “I remembered you said you might be here late. I was walking by. Wanted to make sure you weren’t alone down here. And, it’s cold out. You might not know being inside. Don’t want you to walk out unprepared.”

“Thanks. That’s...nice of you. Sweet. Really sweet.”

Skylar silently nodded, ducking her head a fraction but her eyes never leaving Jay’s.

The two stared at each other.

Henley looked at them both. 

No one said anything.

The other two didn’t even move.

She wasn’t sure they were even breathing.

Ok, this was going to be painful. Taking another look at her watch, Henley plucked up her jacket and slid her arms into the sleeves, shrugging it on and picking up her bag, “I’m going to go.”

She was already cutting it close, and she did not want to be late.

Jay broke her staredown, “Another hot date with the civilian?”

Skylar frowned, confused, “Hot date with a civilian?”

“No.” she moved toward the exit.

“Take her home, Hen.” Jay called after her. “You go on enough dates. We both know you’re not shy. Let that shiny mark shine!”

Henley shook her head, walking around them, “Goodnight, Skylar.”

“‘Night, Hen.”

“I’m serious!” Jay added. “I don’t know why you aren’t in some girl’s bed right now.”

Henley walked out of the room, tossing over her shoulder, “It’s complicated.”

“What’s complicated about hookups?”

* * *

It was cold out, the weather turning crisp and crackling with a hint of snow in the far off distance. With the sun having set, whatever small bit of warmth the blazing star provided was long gone, replaced by the moon’s ethereal glow and glacial gaze. Pale yellow beams spread across the area, illuminating different patches of ice and pavement wherever they touched from the scattered lights propped along the nearby building and seemingly endless blacktop. Miniature clouds, wispy and white, puffed from between frozen lips as Henley stood near the tarmac, bundled up as best as she could in her coat, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach and shivering hands tucked under her elbows. She stomped her feet to try to warm herself up, and the fabric of her uniform trousers seemed to snap like ice at the movement. Cheeks red from the bitter calm of winter, a blanket of unseen cold blanketing Fort Salem and turning everything it touched into a glistening shade of bluish silver, she blinked away the tiny crystals forming along her lashes as the large transport plane taxied to a stop. The tips of her ears had started to burn and the button of her nose hurt, causing her to dip her face into the upturned collar doing little to protect her neck from the plummeting temperatures. She could feel a few others lurking around her, all too anxious and chilled to speak to each other, bouncing on the balls of their feet and blowing mildly warm air into their palms before rubbing them furiously together, the friction not even felt but the action comforting.

A familiar placebo to ward away the worry consuming them all, muscles starting to tense not from the wintery weather but from the trepidation of who may or may not be on that plane.

And how those people might look. Feel. Be.

Blue orbs the color of the water deep below the layers of ice that caked the nearby lakes settled on the end of the plane where the ramp lowered. A powdery dust of snow dotted the wings, and a light haze began to trickle down from the sky, almost invisible to the eye, a slow sweep of softness dusting Fort Salem and the surrounding grounds. 

Everything about her was cold. Numb. Her face. Her hands. Her feet, even in the regulation boots. By that point, she could barely feel the nip at her exposed ears.

Yet, a nervousness bubbled up inside of her, hot and swirling. The long tendrils of fear and excitement, hope and concern, picked at her chest, digging in and plucking at her heart, weaving through her veins and pushing down on her shoulders.

She bit her lip when the first witch appeared, pausing for only the briefest of moments before she descended the ramp.

The soldier was soon followed by another.

Then another.

Soon, an entire cadre of uniforms marched down to the tarmac. Some immediately ducked their heads against the cold, some hiked their packs further up their backs and flipped their hoods to cover their faces in a meek bid to shelter themselves against the elements.

Henley barely noticed.

She didn’t see the other soldiers.

Didn’t feel the cold wrapped around her in a dreadful dark embrace.

Didn’t hear the crunch of boots or the muted chatter.

All she saw, all that existed for a tick of the clock and a breath from her lungs, were green eyes surrounded by rings of exhaustion and a mild cracked grin.

Her arms dropped from their perch, and she didn’t know her feet were moving, her body hurtling forward, until she was being swept up into strong arms.

The necro buried her face in Allison’s shoulder, breathing in the stale scent of metal and oxygen, the faintest hint of leather and pine clinging to her skin and clothes. She sucked in a trembling breath, and the taller woman tightened her embrace, holding her so close it was a wonder they were even two people at all. Allison nuzzled brunette braids with a small relieved sigh escaping into the air on a white smokey haze of a breath.

Henley burrowed into her, needing to feel her, make sure her mind wasn’t playing tricks. 

Allison was back.

She was safe.

She was home.

Henley didn’t know she was crying until the tears began to soak Allison’s uniform, a tiny frozen darkened patch.

She felt something wet drip onto the crown of her head in return.

Curling her fingers tightly into the back of Allison’s jacket, the coarse material bunching under her straining fist, she mumbled, “You’re ok?”

Allison nodded wordlessly, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply before whispering, “Yeah. I’m ok.”

They stood there for what could have been hours or days or minutes. Henley didn’t care. She didn’t care that it was cold. That they might be getting looks. That it was dark and getting darker, getting later. She didn’t think about anything but the feel of Allison’s arms around her, how Allison fit in her embrace, the older witch feeling smaller yet larger than ever. Taking over everything yet Henley could feel the jut of her collarbone and the crease of her ribs beneath the fitted black fabric.

Could feel the way she trembled.

Allison had been gone for months. Months of little to no contact. A letter here or there but nothing more than a few quickly scrawled lines on the back of a slick piece of paper, the hastily scribbled address for Henley’s place longer than the actual message. Her deployment took her somewhere she wasn’t allowed to reveal, but the ghosts of battle clung like demons to the reddening side of her neck and the ripple of her jacket.

Henley fought against the hitch in her chest and leaned back slightly, wiping quickly at her eyes before grabbing the front of the blaster’s uniform, “Did you wear it?”

Allison looked like she was going to say something but then thought better of it. She slipped her hand underneath Henley’s, rooting around before revealing the one item that always remained in her pocket since the moment it was pressed into her palm and the giver refused to take it back.

Caught between her thumb and forefinger, the blue of the rock glittered in the starlight, the old bird’s foot weathered and beaten but still strong, still holding on. She wet her chapped lips, the combat charm hovering in the small space between them, “I don’t think your mama would have appreciated if I lost it.”

Henley choked out a beat of a laugh, “Think my mom might tell you mama loses stuff all the time.” Her mouth wobbled, “Mom is the one who always finds everything.” She raised a frozen finger, lightly touching the edge of a claw before pulling back, “I told you it would keep you safe.”

“Yeah. You did.” Allison tipped it toward Henley, but the brunette shook her head.

“Keep it for a little longer.” A smile that wasn’t as happy as it could be, tender but joyless, “You might slip on a patch of ice or something before you get home.”

Allison curled the charm back under her fist, nodding mutely and tucking it into her pocket again, “Ok.”

“Ok.” Henley lifted her shoulder and sniffed, “I can take you home. To your place.”

Allison playfully wiggled her eyebrows, “Does everyone get this special treatment?”

“Only if they buy the ice cream.”

Allison dipped her head in a nod, “You drive a hard bargain, Ramshorn-Collar.”

“I want a cone from the Dairy Haus. Double scoop.”

“That’s the place…”

The place Henley took her on one of their first real dates.

The place close to where she grew up.

“That has the best ice cream? Yes, it is. I deserve two scoops after having to stand here in the cold waiting for you. You’re late, by the way. Thought Todds weren’t late.” They began to walk, arms bumping and rubbing together.

“You know High Atlantics and our fashionable entrances.”

Henley rolled her eyes, “You owe me a hot fudge sundae now.”

Allison peeked over at her, mouth softer than the dusting of snow starting to scatter across the pavement as the clouds opened up above them, “Not a PB&J shake?”

Henley paused mid step before resuming her pace, “We’ll have to see. They only had strawberry jelly last time.”

“The horror.”

Henley nudged her, “Welcome home, Al.”

Allison sucked in her bottom lip, “Thanks.” She tacked on after a peaceful moment, “I’m driving. I just got back from war, and I know how you drive. This old bird’s foot can only do so much.”

* * *

Henley slipped the t-shirt over her head, the grey cotton settling along her shoulders while tired fingers tugged at the hem, helping smooth out the thin fabric. She plucked at the collar and tucked her medal more fully underneath, the familiar links of the chain resting at the base of her throat. She ran her hand through her tousled hair, absentmindedly searching for a hair tie to pull the tangled strands back with. She knew she should feel something. Regret, perhaps. Frustration. Disappointment. 

She didn’t. 

She couldn’t.

She never had.

A tired voice called out, “It’s late, Hen.”

She spotted a black band on the dresser and grabbed it, turning around while she gathered up her hair, a few small braids already weaved throughout. She let her gaze settle on the bed. Allison had her back against the headrest, knee pulled up under the sheet that had fluttered down to pool around her waist, exposing her bare chest to the soft lamplight. Green eyes met blue, the blaster rubbing at her face before dropping her forearm on top of her bent knee, “At least stay until morning. You need to sleep. We both do.”

_“Skylar stocked up for me. Quick easy stuff. Ingredients for sandwiches, some cans of soup.”_

_Henley smirked, leaning back against the counter of the small kitchen as Allison roamed around, blindly battling with the buttons of her shirt, the tiny circles refusing to go through the holes, while she paced around the rarely used table, “You talk to Skylar?”_

_Allison frowned at her, “She knows one of the girls in my unit. They went to school together or something.”_

_Henley’s eyebrow rose._

_She didn’t buy it._

_Allison wasn’t the only one to reluctantly admit she wasn’t entirely annoyed by the other witch._

_Allison grit her teeth at the shirt that refused to cooperate and ignored the look, “Not sure if she got the right jelly, but there should be peanut butter in one of the cabinets. Tea, too. Goddess, I hope she got coffee.”_

_Taking pity on her, Henley pushed away from the counter and batted her hands away, “I’m glad you and Skylar are getting along.”_

_“She’s ok.” Allison bit her lip as she followed the slim fingers slipping the first button into place. “Heard you’ve been dating again. How’s that going?”_

_Henley didn’t look up from her work, “How’s it going for you?”_

_“Been out of the country a bit. Not many options.” There was always Treefine, but there was no way in hell she would ever go there again. Allison swallowed, “Anyone meet the parents yet?”_

_“It’s not like that.” Henley exhaled, “Nothing serious.”_

_Nothing more than a few dates, a drink here or there, a dinner filled with pleasant conversation. A few hours in someone’s bed._

_Nothing special._

_Nothing worthwhile._

_“Nothing?”_

_“Not yet.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Haven’t found anyone to be serious about yet. And, I’ve been a bit busy with work.”_

_“We decided it’d be good for you to see other people, Hen.”_

_“We decided that for you, too.”_

_“Henley.”_

_Sucking in her bottom lip, she let her eyes drift up, dance along the edge of the cotton and up a regal throat to be caught by strikingly focused green orbs, intense yet soft. Open. Revealing._

_Her hands stalled, fingers curving around the flaps of the shirt._

_Something shifted inside, something familiar, something she should ignore, something that shouldn’t even be there anymore._

_Something no matter how many days passed or how many people entered or exited her life, held on like the last dying ember of a once blazing fire, stubborn and secure, comforting in its steadiness._

_Allison noticed the pause, her own hands, more chipped and snarled than normal, than six months ago, turning into fists at her side as her voice lowered, “Hen.”_

_A throaty rasp, “I’m happy you’re back.”_

_She was._

_So much._

_“Yeah. Me too.”_

_Henley reached up, playing with the flap of her collar, “Half a year.”_

_She’d been gone six months._

_Deployed into a warzone for six months._

_“Henley.”_

_Henley’s hand ghosted along the crook of her neck._

_Allison’s head dropped down, breaths brushing against Henley’s mouth as the brunette tilted up her chin, “We shouldn’t.”_

_They really shouldn’t._

_They’d agreed._

_They didn’t work._

_They’d tried._

_They’d tried so hard._

_It wasn’t right._

_It wasn’t...enough._

_Whatever they were, whatever they had been, it wasn’t enough._

_They were still friends._

_Only friends now._

_Two people who cared about each other._

_Two people who would always care about each other._

_Allison cupped her cheek, thumb coasting along the smooth expanse of skin. Their noses brushed gently. Henley’s eyes fluttered closed at the tender touch. There was a pressure low in her belly and in the back of her throat, behind her eyes and pounding in her chest._

_“Hen?” Allison’s mouth was a heartbeat away from her own, voice quiet, barely a whisper, a hesitant caress. Her breath ghosted across her lips, tickling and teasing and wordlessly promising something, but only if given permission, only if it was what she wanted too._

_Henley closed the distance, kissing her._

Henley quirked an eyebrow, “We’re going to sleep?”

“I’ll even let you steal all the blankets.” 

Henley secured the bun on the back of her head and strolled forward, tucking in her shirt, “I should go.”

“Are you going home?”

Henley shrugged, glancing around for her socks.

No. She wasn’t.

A sigh, “Are you going to your parents’ next weekend?”

A quick weekend vacation to check in on them and subtly make sure they really were doing ok still.

A quick weekend trip to get a whiff of salty sweet ocean air and to be able to sit across from her mom with a mug of tea while her mama puttered around nearby. 

A quick weekend escape she knew deep inside, even if she couldn’t fully admit it, that would get her away from the uncertainty and the pressure and the underlying fear surrounding Fort Salem. The constant stress and drive to help, to fight, to figure it all out. A trip her friends encouraged.

“Why? Do you want to come?” she spotted the socks a few paces away, balled up near the foot of the bed. She scooped them up and plopped down on the mattress, tugging them on.

“You take all your booty calls up to your parents’ house?”

“Not a booty call.” Henley quickly corrected, a quick slice inside her chest causing her jaw to twitch at the words.

Allison could never be a booty call.

She was more than that.

“My parents like you. They’d be happy to see you.”

Allison didn’t reply.

Straightening out the fabric bunched around her toes, Henley peeked over at the older witch.

Allison stared at her, mouth a thin straight line.

“What?”

Allison shook her head, hand curling into a fist from where it dangled near her shin, “There’s food in the kitchen. Make yourself a sandwich or something, at least.”

Henley exhaled slowly, “Allison,”

“We both know you’re going back to base, and you’re not going to eat anything. Just...take a damn sandwich, Hen. Say hi to Raelle and Scylla when you go up there.” She wet her lips, “Tell Raelle those tips helped.”

Tips like not mentally or emotionally linking if she tried to heal someone, because she was a blaster and did not need that unexpected shock and stress while on the battlefield.

Tips like trusting in her unit, the people around her, and never turning her back in a fight.

Tips like keeping letters from home safe and secure because, during some nights, they were the only thing that could keep her sane.

Shoulders dropped, Henley took a breath before climbing to her feet, a weight in the pit of her stomach. She touched her fingers to the space just above her eyebrow and walked around to the side of the bed, crawling in and pressing against the taller woman’s side, face hovering near hers, “I’m really close to figuring this out.”

Figuring out how to use the Death Current.

Finding a new quicker better way to obtain Intelligence.

How to potentially save more lives.

“I know you are.” Allison kept her voice steady, “And, I know we’re not...we’re friends.”

Friends.

“I love you.” Henley closed the distance, kissing her lightly, “I do, Allison.”

She would always care about her, love her.

“I know.” the corner of her mouth twitched sadly, “I love you, too.”

“If I can...if I can get this to work...maybe you won’t have to leave again. No one will.”

Allison’s look wasn’t fully convinced, “Sure. And you’ll figure it out tonight. After midnight. After however long you’ve been working on this.” 

Henley’s eyes narrowed, “I’m not the only one focused on my career.” 

“I’m not saying anything, Henley.” Allison shifted slightly, rolling her shoulders, “I’m not…”

“Not what?”

Allison glanced away, her eyes drifting to a spot on the far wall, “There’s rumors that my company will be deployed soon. Not sure where.”

Henley bit back the way her chest stuttered at the news and her stomach sank. The breath stolen from her lungs with that one word.

Deployed.

They’d just got back.

They’d been gone for months.

Deployed again?

Inhaling deeply, Henley pushed Allison’s leg down, crawling to straddle her thighs, “Hey,” she cupped her chin, ignoring the dread pooling at the base of her spine and dripping into her belly, “we’ve talked about this. If either of us leaves, the other will still be here when they get back. I’m going to write to you and miss you and count down the days until you’re home. Same as you would do if I got deployed. Same as last time you had to go. You’re...you know how much you mean to me. No matter what. It’s only rumors, right? You just got home. I know numbers are low but...they wouldn’t send you back that soon.”

Allison curved her hands around Henley’s hips, squeezing gently, “I’m not worried about that. Or me.”

Henley searched her eyes, spotting the concern easily, “I’ll be fine.”

“I know.”

Henley smoothed her hands across her shoulders, cupping her neck, “What’s wrong?”

“You know I’ll always support you. I know how smart you are. That you’re doing something important. No idea how it works, but I know you do.”

“But?”

“Hen, you never leave base except...except for a few hours here or there. Skylar found you sleeping on a cot in the necro building more than once.”

Clearly Skylar was talking with Allison more than she thought.

Henley frowned, “I’m doing my job, Allison. You, out of anyone, should get that. I’m not the one angling for captain in a year.”

Allison shot her a look.

Henley fired back with her own.

The silent staredown lasted for a few moments.

Pushing forward, Allison looped an arm around her back, holding her in place, “I’ve seen you when you can’t even keep your eyes open. When you’ve drained yourself so much I don’t know if I should fuck you or make you sleep for ten hours. I’m worried, ok? I know you’re doing something important. Trying to do something you think will be a game changer, but you’re putting everyone and everything before yourself, and you’re going to burn out. And...that was before I left. Goddess knows how you’ve been since.”

Henley grit her teeth, “I’m fine.”

She didn’t need a babysitter.

“You’re not.” Allison countered. “I know your job is the most important thing in the world to you right now, but you are pushing it, Henley.”

Henley scoffed, “I’m the one pushing it? You’re acting like I’m the only one here who chooses their job first. We both know you have always been about how many stripes a Todd should have on her shoulder. And, in case you forgot, we’re in the middle of a war. I’m trying to make it so you and Skylar and everyone else don’t have to be deployed. It’s not full of glory like standing on the front lines and creating storms, but it might mean someone else doesn’t die.” 

It might mean stopping another one of her friends from not coming home.

From losing someone she really loved.

Henley slid away, escaping from the taller girl’s hold, “I took my car, no need to get up. I’ll lock the door behind me.”

She was angry.

Frustrated.

Scared.

Terrified.

“Henley!”

Henley stopped her trek toward the bedroom door.

Allison muttered a curse, “Come back here.”

Henley grit her teeth, body tense, the quiver of her bottom lip hidden from view.

The way her face was breaking hidden from view.

Allison exhaled heavily, “Please? Just...come back and get a few hours of sleep. I’ll go with you to base when it’s closer to morning. A few hours, and then you can go back to your nothing dates and hiding in the necro building and creating whatever new piece of Work you’re working on.” She scrubbed at her face, words turning choked, unsettled, “I’m asking you to be here with me for a little bit. For tonight.”

Henley closed her eyes, swallowing roughly before reopening them and turning around. Worrying her bottom lip, she stared at the naked woman, green eyes uncharacteristically vulnerable, only being this open a handful of times, all with the younger girl. 

Her chest cracked open, heart splintering and a lump choking her as it lodged in her throat.

Whatever resolve she once held disappeared, leaving her exhausted, mentally willing away the slight sting in her eyes and the emotions slamming against her ribs.

“Of course.” She sniffed, “I’m sorry. Let’s...let’s go to sleep.” She tugged her shirt over her head, letting it fall to the ground and reached for her belt, feet padding back towards the bed. Shucking off her trousers and slipping back out of her socks, she dipped back onto the mattress, nestling under the blanket and breathing in deeply as Allison hesitantly rested her head on her chest.

She kissed the top of her head, running her fingers across her brow and weaving back a lock of hair. “I really did miss you. So much.” She cradled her close.

So close.

“Missed you, too, Hen.” she traced the lines of her ribs, “We argued. Now I know I’m back home.”

Henley chuckled, the sound wet even to her ears. 

* * *

Henley looked up from the centuries old book propped open on the table, tossing the arrival a polite curious smile before returning her attention to the mother tongue, hand sketching out a quick translation next to the drawings she’d inked into the pages of her notes.

Skylar caught the smile and tossed one back in return, subtly checking the empty room while rubbing her hands together to warm them up.

Winter that year was worse than most, and it wasn’t letting up.

Sensing the search, Henley spoke up, “Jay went to grab a snack. She’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Oh,” Skylar did her best not to sound slightly disappointed, “ok.”

Henley fought not to roll her eyes at the non-couple.

Skylar walked further into the room, “Is she getting you one, too?”

Without looking up, Henley reached for the half eaten energy bar near her elbow and waved it in the air.

“I was about to go into town. Grab something to eat. Want to come with?”

Henley set her dinner down, “Are you going with Jay?”

Skylar shuffled her feet, “Not...we...I haven’t asked yet.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Going to ask her?”

“I guess so.” Skylar puttered over to an empty chair and sat down, rubbing her palms along the tops of her thighs, “Maybe not, if she’s already getting food.”

Henley set her pen down and set her sights on the fixer, “Sky. Ask her out. Just do it.”

Skylar’s mouth opened, corners of her mouth flickering at the unexpected command. 

“She likes you. You like her. Honestly, I haven’t seen you like this about anyone in years.” Her fingers tapped against the desk before smoothing across the page she had been reading, “I don’t want you two to miss something because neither one of you knows the other wants you. And, she wants you, Sky. So...ask her to dinner.”

Sky sat back, hands coming to rest in her lap. She took a moment, letting the words tumble about in her mind, chewing on the inside of her cheek, “Yeah.”

Henley picked her pen back up, “I want to hear all about your date tomorrow. From both of you. I’ll even drag Allison along since you two are best friends now.”

“We’re not best friends.” Skylar grumbled, shifting in her seat, “I work with someone she went to school with.”

Right.

Went to school with.

Like Allison worked with someone Skylar went to school with.

Looked like everyone went to school together.

Skylar cleared her throat, “It’s great. That Allison is back.”

Henley snagged her bottom lip between her teeth, forcing herself to stare at the loop of the words printed on the yellowed page.

Not on the tone she could hear sneaking into Skylar’s voice.

“Six months. That’s a long time.” Skylar continued, clasping her hands together. 

“What are you trying to say, Sky?”

Skylar shrugged, looking at a halo reflection on the table from the light, “Are you with her again?”

There it was.

Exhaling loudly, Henley tilted her head back, closing her eyes for a brief moment, “No. We haven’t been together in years, Sky. You know that.”

“Well, whatever you call it, then. You guys are…” she vaguely waved her hand.

“Are what?” Henley lowered her chin, a small headache starting to form. She rubbed the pads of her fingers above her eyebrow, massaging at the slight pain.

Skylar leveled her with a look, “You two have been off and on since I’ve met you. You’re not together, and then you are, and then you’re seeing other people...Henley...just...be honest.”

“I am.” They weren’t together. They broke up. They tried, and it didn’t work. “We’re friends. We are in each other’s lives. That’s it.”

Skylar leaned forward, face encouraging in its gentleness, “You aren’t friends, Henley.”

“What are we?” The frustrating headache grew into a throbbing in her forehead.

“I don’t know. You two are...Henley, you two act like you’re together sometimes.”

“No, we don’t.” she growled, “We’re close. We’ve been through a lot together. She’s like family. Like you are.”

“I’m not like Allison, Hen. You’ve never treated me like you’ve treated her. You’ve never treated anyone like her.”

She scrubbed roughly at her face, “I go out with other people. I’ve had sex with other people. If we were together, I wouldn’t do that. I’m not into that type of relationship, Sky.”

“I know.” Skylar sighed, “I’m not...I’m just saying...you should really figure out what’s going on there. It’s been years. You two...you both deserve to not be...this. Be together or don’t. But...I don’t know. I want you both to be happy. I’m not sure you are.”

“I am happy. I’m happy, Sky. I’ve been busy with this project, but I’m ok.” Henley assured her. “I’ll be able to go out more once I get this experiment done and can show results. Maybe end this war and then have a lot more time. I might go out with Kari again. The girl from Brown.”

Skylar’s look said it all.

She wasn’t going to go out with the civilian from Brown again.

“All I’ve seen you do is work or go out with these girls.” Skylar’s voice dropped, “Jay might not notice, but I have. I...I don’t know what you’re looking for, Hen. I thought I did, but I’m not sure. Sometimes...maybe you just don’t want to be alone? Which, I get. I do. And...sometimes...you want what you already have.”

“What’s that?”

“You said, once, that you wanted someone to come home to. To be committed.” Her toe tapped the floor, “Maybe you’re the one who that someone comes home to.”

Henley frowned.

“You choose each other. I’ve heard you both say it. That you’re both _there_ . I don’t...what does that even mean? Are you _friends_ because you want her or...because you don’t know how to be without her?”

A bitter acrid ache thrummed in her stomach.

“If you love each other, try again. Actually try. Or, maybe, don’t. Just...don’t keep doing this with each other. You’re wasting time, Henley. Time you could either be with her or be with someone else.”

“ _You’re_ telling me about wasting time? About trying or not trying?”

“Yeah. I am.”

Henley didn’t say anything.

She didn’t know what to say.

The headache turned into a painful jab to her chest.

“You’re so sure about everything else. Why do you act unsure about this?”

The room went silent.

“Ok, so the snack machine was broken. I seriously had to fight to get these. If anyone asks who windstruck the machine, it was the kid from Basic who can’t even open a can with a can opener. Which, who is like that?” Jay strolled in, juggling an armful of potato chips bags and candy bars.

She nearly dropped them all at the sight of Skylar.

She might have dropped a few bags of candy.

“Oh. Hey, Sky.” She did her best to not look like she was carrying half a vending machine full of treats.

A slow easy smile flashed as the fixer turned her attention to the other woman, “Hey.” 

Jay glanced around before casually tossing the food onto the floor, “What brings you by?”

Skylar looked from her to the food and back to her. Standing up slowly, she pulled her shoulders back, “Um...I was...dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“Dinner.”

“Oh,” Jay looked at the treats, “Well...Swedish fish?” 

“Have dinner with me?”

Jay’s hand froze halfway to where it was going to push at her glasses, “What?”

“Dinner. With me. Right now. Do you...want to have dinner with me?”

“Oh, wow, um…” Jay blew out a breath, looking at her rumpled uniform, “Now?”

“Yeah, now.” Skylar smiled tenderly, “You look great, by the way.”

“You, too.” 

They were both in their uniforms.

Jay thumbed over her shoulder, “I’ll drive?”

“Ok.” 

“Ok.”

Neither moved.

The clock ticked.

Once.

Twice.

Henley cleared her throat.

Loudly.

“Right. Ok. Let’s go.” Jay waved a hand, “Bye, Henley.”

Skylar shot one last look at her friend before meandering over to the blonde, both ducking their heads as their arms bumped together.

Henley watched them leave.

She couldn’t wait to hear about their date. She really needed to find out where the betting pool was. She had an inkling one of the third year fixer students was running it.

Then, she turned back to her work, doing everything she could to ignore what Skylar had said.

She’d think about it later.

After she finished this project.

She had time.

They had time.

* * *

Tip toeing through the partially opened bedroom door, Henley slid the spare key into her pocket and slipped out of her shirt before wiggling out of her trousers and socks. Clad only in her bra and underwear, she picked her way through the dark, lightly touching the side of the bed before carefully easing onto it.

As she settled into place, Allison turned over, a sleepy face pressing into the side of her throat, “Hen?”

“Yeah,” Henley caressed her shoulder and cupped the back of her head, “go back to sleep.”

Allison nuzzled closer, lazily tossing an arm around Henley’s hips.

Henley lay there, listening to the blaster’s hitched breathing, Skylar’s words playing over and over in her head.

Was she right?

What were her and Allison doing? 

They were friends.

Close.

They’d known each other for years.

But, Henley didn’t share a bed with her friends. She didn’t touch them like she touched Allison. Didn’t kiss them.

Didn’t feel afraid at the thought of them never being there. Never seeing them again.

But, was she in love with her?

Did her heart skip a beat every time she thought about her?

Did Allison want to be with her?

They tried before.

Why would anything be different now?

They’d both seen other people. Dated.

Had sex with.

They agreed on it.

Agreed to breakup. Stay apart. 

Brushing her lips against Allison’s hair, she whispered, “What are we doing?”

* * *

The early morning air was crisp and cool, fluttering along the thin strips of white that posed as clouds in the brilliantly bright blue sky, smatterings of odd shapes doting the long expanse of seemingly endless calm, the far cry of a bird and the muted crash of the ocean waves doing little to break the calm of the rising sun.

An oasis in the din, a whole new world on the opposite end of the universe from Fort Salem. From the marching boots and rumbling jeeps. The roar of deadly storms and reports and rumors and orders passed around with dour determination and stony countenance. 

Henley took a deep breath of the salty sweet air floating in through the open window on golden beams of clear sunlight, the soothing scent mixing with the earthy bitterness of her mama’s coffee and the floral hue from the flowers hanging on to the last vestiges of a season long past around the front of the cottage. The clatter of a pan and the shifting and shuffling of odds and ends washed over her, soon joined by her parents’ gentle murmurs.

She took one last look out the window before returning her gaze to the kitchen. Her mama was perched on a chair around the tiny table, glasses reluctantly perched on the tip of her nose as she skimmed the newspaper, skipping over the sports section and sparing a glance at the cartoons before stopping on the weather forecast.

“Paper says it’s going to be sunny.” Raelle drawled and tilted her head back to peer out the window. She shot a look at her daughter, “Thank the goddess we subscribed to the newspaper.”

Spying the front page, Henley had a feeling that wasn’t the reason why.

“You’re just grumpy, you couldn’t figure out the crossword earlier.” Scylla bustled by, pressing a warm mug into Henley’s hand, “How’d you sleep, honey?”

“Good. Fine.” Henley accepted the drink, bringing the steaming liquid up to her lips and taking a small sip.

“I’m not grumpy.” Raelle grumbled.

“Since when do you do the crossword?” Henley asked, watching her mama set the paper down and flick off her glasses.

“Since Byron challenged her.” Scylla answered.

“Uncle Byron?”

“He answers one question about Shakespeare and thinks he’s a crossword master.” Raelle huffed.

The phone rang a moment later.

Scylla raised an eyebrow as Raelle glared toward where the phone was, “You going to answer that, babe?”

Raelle shifted her glare at her before pushing to her feet, snagging the cane propped against the back of her chair, “You’re so mean.”

“Say hi to Byron for us.”

Raelle limped out of the kitchen, her voice rising a few seconds later as the ringing stopped, “Hey, Byron.”

Scylla took her wife’s vacant seat, leaning back and holding her mug close to her chest, “Have a seat, Hen.”

Henley swayed a second before walking over to the other chair, slowly lowering herself into it. She set her mug on the table, fiddling with the handle.

“Your mama and I were surprised you decided to visit this weekend.” Scylla hummed into her drink, taking a sip.

It hadn’t been long since she came down for her pre-planned vacation.

Henley traced the edge of the rim, “I know it was short notice.”

Short notice meaning she borrowed Skylar’s car because it was parked closer than hers and drove up, arriving at her parents’ door late Friday night without calling first.

Hopefully Skylar found the keys to her own car she left behind for her.

She couldn’t wait. She had to go.

They needed to go.

“You’re always welcome, Henley. You know that.” Scylla smiled, “At least you didn’t try to break in this time.”

Henley formed a tiny half grin, but it quickly disappeared. 

Scylla took another sip, the room growing quiet except for the sounds of the ocean and Raelle’s muted mutterings in the other room, a growled, “You cheated, you asshole.” filtering through and causing Scylla to roll her eyes. Hard. 

Henley picked at the mug, twisting it back and forth. She reached forward, sliding the front page towards herself. The headline was big and bold.

**TALK OF CONSCRIPTION ESCALATES AS TROOP LEVELS INCREASE IN ONGOING CONFLICT**

Henley bit her lip as she reread the headline, the print seeming to scream at her.

Scylla broke the quiet, “It’s not easy.”

“What?” She sniffed, curling a knee up to her chest.

“All of it.” Scylla canted her head as if she heard something.

A familiar warmth blossomed in Henley’s chest at her mom’s voice, like a cozy quilt that she could snuggle into, and she folded the newspaper away from herself, blocking the bold print from view. 

Scylla glanced down at the newspaper page, an indistinguishable glint entering her dark blue eyes, face taking on a look Henley couldn’t quite recognize before it smoothed away. “You’re staying safe?”

“It’s unlikely I’ll be deployed. Research doesn’t see much action.”

Scylla only hummed in response.

A soft scraping echoed through the window, and Henley frowned at the noise. Standing up, she stepped over to it, peering outside.

She didn’t see anything.

Squinting, something nagged at the back of her mind. She walked out of the kitchen, gaze moving to where a window looked out toward the drive, Skylar’s car parked next to her parents’.

She stopped as she saw what had caused the noise.

Allison stood on the gravel, hands on her hips as her body moved up and down, recovering from a long jog. Her face was red, hair windswept and tousled. Raelle stood in front of her, speaking too softly for Henley to hear, but Allison’s head dropped at whatever was said, and she wiped harshly at her eyes before linking her hands on the back of her head. 

The younger witch suddenly felt like an intruder. Like she was witnessing something not meant for her to see. Yet, the urge to go out there, to take Allison’s hands away from her hidden face and replace them with her own filled her, gnawed at her. She wanted to hear what her mama was telling her. 

Were they talking about the scream that had woken Allison up from the nap she’d succumbed to while Henley picked at her lunch? A scream that had Henley thinking of the only people she could who might know what to say, because Allison refused to mention it for the rest of the day.

“Henley.” Scylla called from where she leaned against the doorway leading back to the kitchen, mug in hand.

Henley tore her gaze away to look at her mom, noting the seriousness around her eyes, the soberness outlining her mouth. It was almost startling in its solemness. Taking one last look out the window, she made her way back to the kitchen. As she passed by, Scylla grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

“If anything happens.” Scylla spoke sternly, “you need to call us. Ok?”

Henley blinked, “What?”

Scylla stared at her, eyes as serious as when Henley first told her she had enlisted, “Your mama and I both love you. More than anything. If something is wrong, call us immediately. You, Allison, Skylar, anyone. You need to call us.”

What was she talking about, “Mom?”

Scylla held her gaze, “Promise me.”

“What’s wrong? What are you talking about?”

“Promise me, Henley.”

“I promise.”

Scylla nodded, releasing her wrist, “Good.”

“Mom, did something happen? Did you hear something?” Had one of her aunts said something to her?

Scylla’s face revealed nothing. 

* * *

The ocean was calm, a sparkling sea of diamonds, ships far off in the distance.

A lone figure sat on the beach, legs bent, arms resting on the tops of her knees, still as the water in front of her.

Allison stared out at the unending blanket of shimmering blue, faded sweatshirt snug around her shoulders, keeping her warm from the chill rolling off the nonexistent waves, the hood lying haphazardly around her neck, the string long gone.

She felt the sand shift slightly behind her. Noiseless feet padded up to her side, the other person carefully sitting down on the soft earth. 

She glanced over as Henley threaded an arm through hers, resting her head against her shoulder.

“Time to go?” she asked quietly, for some reason not wanting to speak too loudly. To break the peaceful tranquility of the spot.

The complete opposite of Fort Salem.

Henley nodded, fingers digging into the crease of her elbow. “We should leave if we want to get back before dark.”

“Ok.”

Henley’s head lifted from its perch, but she didn’t move away. Didn’t release her hold or stand up. Brows scrunching slightly, Allison turned her head fully, a question on the tip of her tongue. It died away when blue, far more beautiful than the vision she’d been staring at for the past hour, met her green. 

Her mouth went dry, and a nervousness fluttered inside her.

Henley tilted forward, kissing her softly. Slowly. Hesitantly. Familiar yet not.

Allison’s eyes drifted closed as she kissed her back.

Lips slowly drifting away, Allison didn’t open her eyes, scared at what she might see.

That Henley might not even be there.

That this was all a dream.

“Henley?”

Henley cradled her jaw, thumb dancing along her cheek, “One more time. Let’s try one more time.”

“It didn’t work.”

“I know” Henley whispered, “But, I’ve tried, and I don’t love anyone else. If you want to try, I want to try.” She nuzzled closer, “I want to be with you.”

They'd tried.

More than once.

They fought for each other, against each other.

Loving touches and bitter words.

Hard glares and soft caresses.

Late nights spent together and apart.

Feeling so much and nothing at all.

Doing everything to not break a promise.

“Ok. One more time.”

* * *

“They seriously told you no?”

Henley nodded grimly, marching down the starkly lit hallway of the necro building, Jay at her side, empty pad of paper in hand that was meant to be used to record whatever happened during Henley’s experiment.

The experiment that was now on hold.

“Maj. Buttonwood said there was a mix-up. There are no available cadavers for anything. Teaching. Practicing. Nothing.” 

It was absolutely ridiculous.

How were they supposed to do anything? How were the new recruits meant to learn if they couldn’t actually do Work? 

“What about donations?”

“Civilians never donated and witches stopped when the war started...and there weren’t that many to begin with. Most went to STC.” The witches decided they would rather support an educational institution separate from the military than offer their bodies to the military itself.

They were finally free from conscription. The military wasn’t getting their bodies back.

“Would STC give you one?”

Henley grit her teeth in frustration, “It would need to be approved by Maj. Buttonwood.”

Which meant no.

If everything was on hold, there was no way their superior would grant them this request.

Pushing into one of the labs, Henley crashed to a halt.

She blinked.

Blinked again.

There was a pale body laid out on the metal table near the center of the room.

“Henley?” Jay asked, peering around her.

Henley ignored her and slowly approached the table.

It was a woman, her witches mark visible on the side of her neck. At first glance, she hadn’t been dead long. Maybe a couple of days. Her face looked familiar, but Henley couldn’t place it. She most likely was someone seen on base at some point. 

There were no tags or anything nearby to indicate who she was or why she was there. 

“What are you doing?” Jay crept up behind her.

Henley eyed the body.

She was going to do something that might get her in serious trouble.

“Close the door, Jay.”

“Why?”

Henley reached into the bag slung around her shoulder, plucking out the notebook inside. Depositing the bag on the floor, she flipped the notebook open, glancing at the scrawls, mouthing along to a few lines.

Catching on, Jay moved to the door, closing it firmly, “Please don’t get me court-martialed.”

Henley reread a few words, “Take notes.”

This wasn't how she planned on conducting her Work for the first time. But, it was the only chance she had.

“You sure about this?”

No, but it was the only shot she had. She did not spend all the time she had, days, weeks, months, of her life studying and creating this to not try. 

If this worked, it would open up a whole new tool to help her fellow soldiers.

New Intelligence.

A new advantage.

In her quieter moments of contemplation, a way for families to know what their loved ones were thinking when they passed away. What their final thoughts were. Their final wishes.

They were in the middle of a war.

Any way that could help end it needed to be explored.

No one else needed to get hurt.

Setting her notebook aside, Henley carefully stepped up to the body. She hesitated. This was a person. A witch. 

Someone who deserved respect. 

Some only viewed a body as a vessel, nothing but flesh and bone.

It wasn’t.

Just like a soul wasn’t merely a ghostly mirage or death was the final act, nothing after, a solid firm black and white concept.

It was all so much more complicated than that.

Silently thanking the witch for letting her do this, Henley sent a quick prayer to whoever was listening that this would work. It would be better if it was right at or after death, but, if it worked now, it would certainly work then, and this added amount of time only made the Work more valuable.

Closing her eyes, she eased her hands near the base of the body’s throat, inhaling deeply and clearing her mind.

Just like her mama taught her.

Just like her mom taught her.

Evening her breaths, she began to speak quietly.

The mother tongue flowed from her lips, smooth and steady.

_The room was expansive, elegant, mahogany and oak mixed with priceless antiques and an unrivaled view of Fort Salem._

_Gen. Harley, Leader of the United States Army, successor to Gen. Bellweather, stood near a large ornate desk, hundreds of years old, a crystal lamp near her hand, papers stacked neatly near the center of the wooden plane._

_This was her office._

_The office once held by Gen. Sarah Alder herself._

_Eyes skipping around, they finally settled on the handful of officers, the stripes and various markings on their uniforms indicating the highest levels of military rule. Speaking softly to Harley was Gen. Todd, newly promoted and seen as one of Gen. Harley’s most respected confidantes._

_Someone pressed a glass into her hand, and she peeked down to see a small bit of wine swirling in the crystal cup._

_Harley took her own from the major passing them around, lifting it up in a slight toast, “Congratulations. You have my utmost respect and thanks for your efforts. Today marks the beginning of a new era. An era where we, once again, display the power and strength of our sisters. Where we no longer bow down to others. Fire and fury shall finally be returned to the army, led by those who were always meant to lead.”_

_The others cheered, taking sips of their drinks._

_A person nudged her, and she looked over to see the major take another sip of her wine, “Can you believe it worked?”_

_“Incredible.”_

_“Shows how much was lost when they began to allow others to take positions of leadership. Of power.” The major shook her head ruefully, “To think, if we hadn’t planted that explosion, none of this would have happened. We would still be losing our standing, our place in the world.” She took another drink, “Now, we are on the verge of victory against China...as long as the Hague remains loyal...India has always been worrisome, and Russia is an annoyance, but, either way, civilians will see how needed we are. How much they need us. Witches will fall in line, and we won’t have to worry about people trying to pretend like they’re someone they’re not. Like their matrilines matter as much.” She snorted, “Can you believe them? Bellweather might have promoted people like...combat medics...but not anymore. Those who matter will be back where they belong. Leading witches as civilians beg for us to protect them.”_

Henley jerked back, nearly toppling over as she crashed into a stool a few steps beside her.

“Whoa, you ok?” Jay shot up from where she was perched on her own stool, “Did you see something? Did it work? It looked like it worked.”

Henley stared at her friend’s eager face.

It was a lie.

It was all a lie.

It felt like she was still linked. Like she wasn’t in her own body.

Like she was floating, mind not comprehending what she just witnessed.

Her hands were shaking.

“Henley?” Jay walked up to her, “Are you ok? Are you feeling any side effects? You’re scaring me right now.”

One thought popped in her mind.

A lie.

They lied.

“I have to find my aunts.”

* * *

Abigail leaned heavily back in her chair, eyes not leaving the young witch who she always saw as family, as her niece, anxious and agitated in the seat across from her, looking so much like Scylla but barely holding back her emotions like Raelle.

Goddess, she was just like her mothers.

Tally shifted beside her, standing by her side. Abigail could easily picture the horrified look on her face, the concern in her eyes.

The concern that she blocked from her own.

“You are sure that’s what you saw?” Abigail asked, mind already working through the story.

Henley nodded emphatically, “Every word. I promise, Aunt Abi, that’s what I saw.”

“Gen. Todd’s aide passed away a few days ago.” Tally muttered to Abigail.

Abigail took this in, knowing it was true. It was likely the general trusted her aide and would have taken her with her to the meeting.

General Todd - General Harley’s second in command. 

Allison Todd’s mother.

“You’re certain it was Gen. Todd and Gen. Harley?”

“Why would I make that up? I know what they look like.”

Everyone knew what they looked like.

Abigail remained steady, calm, “I don’t know what your current relationship is with Allison Todd…”

“Abigail,” Tally warned softly.

Henley’s eyes blazed, “You think this is because of Allison?”

“No, but I think that’s what some people might ask.” Abigail held up a hand. “Allison and her mother do not get along. It’s not a terribly huge secret you and your parents played a part in it. That the general blames you.”

Henley opened her mouth, but Abigail cut her off, “Henley, this is very serious. This is…”

“Treason.” Tally finished for her. “You’re accusing the top generals of treason.”

“I saw what I saw. I wouldn’t make this up.” Henley spit out. 

Abigail nodded thoughtfully, “We’ll need to look into this. Start an investigation. A quiet one.” She stared at Henley, “Until this is resolved, you cannot do what you did anymore.”

“But…”

“Henley,” she was stern, “if anyone discovered what you did...what you learned, it would be very difficult for me to protect you. I promise, I will not let anything happen to you.”

Not again.

Never again.

“I need you to work with me on this. Keep your head down. Do not draw attention to yourself. Act as if this never happened. We’ll get to the bottom of this. I can’t promise you anything, though.”

“What do you mean?”

A sigh, “A young lieutenant tells me that she created a new piece of Work and saw some of the most powerful generals, including the leader of the army and her second in command, who happens to be the mother of someone you may or may not be dating and who does not like your family, commit treason. And, there are no other witnesses to what you saw. Not to mention you were ordered to not do exactly what you did.”

“We believe you, Henley.” Tally gave her a caring glance, “It will take us a while to prove it.”

“Until then, do not do anything else.” Abigail ordered.

Please.

For all their sakes. 

For her parents’ sake.

Goddess, please do not act like Raelle...or Scylla.

“It’s a lie, Aunt Abi.” Henley muttered. “They lied to us.” Her hands were fists in her lap, “I know people who’ve died because of this.”

“I know.” Abigail nodded solemnly.

Henley’s chin jutted out, head shaking, “This is wrong. What they’re doing is wrong.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Tally assured her.

Henley scoffed and stood up. Brows knitting together, frown deepening, she asked, “They mentioned combat medics being promoted...ruining things...were they talking about my mama?” 

The silence that greeted her question was all the answer she needed.

“They don’t care if we die, do they? None of them.” She knew the army wasn’t perfect. But this? 

This was murder.

Coldblooded murder.

“Hen,” Tally started, but the younger witch turned on her heel.

“I got hurt because they were testing Work that could be used as an explosive. Was it for this?”

Had she somehow helped play a part in this?

“Go home, Lt. Ramshorn-Collar.” Abigail ordered gently.

Henley gave one last parting shot as she opened the door, “You’re my family, and I trust you. But...witches are dying.” She sniffled, “We’re dying.”

Abigail watched her leave.

“She won’t do anything.” Tally answered the worry in her mind.

“How can you be sure?” She was a Ramshorn-Collar. She was Raelle and Scylla’s daughter.

If there was anyone who would do something, it was their progeny.

“She’s trusting us.” Tally shrugged, “We have to make sure her trust is well placed.”

* * *

Skylar hunched her shoulders as a bitter wind ripped through the trees, rattling the empty snow laden branches and slamming into her face. She hated the cold. It was never this cold where she grew up, the temperatures refusing to dip anywhere close to where the thermometers were now. It was a miserable cold that seeped into your bones and made your joints ache.

A heavy sigh sounded next to her, and she peered over from the scrunched up collar of her coat to see Allison tugging off her gloves.

“Here.” Allison held out the black tactical gloves, worn and broken in.

Skylar shook her head, walking a bit faster toward the administration building.

They were almost there.

“Take the damn gloves, Dobbins.” Allison exhaled, taking the fixer’s frozen hand and jamming the pair into her palm.

“I’m ok.” Skylar tried to give them back.

Allison snorted, “Whatever.”

Skylar glanced down at the gloves.

“They’re gloves, Dobbins. They’re not cursed.”

Skylar reluctantly put them on, eyes fluttering at the warmth, “As if you could curse anything.”

Allison huffed out a laugh, “I can curse something better than you can play pool.”

Skylar’s eyes narrowed, “I beat you last time.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I beat you by three balls!” It wasn’t even close.

“You sank the final three stripes.”

And the eight ball. “That means I beat you.”

“You were solids.” Allison’s eyes glittered, “The necro you like walked in halfway through and you got distracted.”

That was...not true. Jay had walked in but she kept playing while the blonde joined a few other soldiers chatting nearby.

“It was great that you tried to impress her by doing trick shots with my balls.” Allison teased. “One of my best games. I really liked the one where you made the cue ball jump one of your solids and knocked my final stripe into the corner pocket. Brilliant move.”

Skylar glared at her. Opening her mouth to respond, she closed it as movement flickered along the edge of her gaze. She peered closer, something catching in her throat, “Your hands are shaking.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, you’re cold.”

“I’m not.”

“Your…”

“It’s fine, Dobbins.” Allison barked, shoving her hands in her pockets.

Skylar gulped, biting the inside of her cheek at the sharp tone. Steeling herself, she looked down at the toes of her boots, “How long?”

“How long what?”

“Have your hands been shaking?”

Allison didn’t reply.

Skylar had seen it before. Soldiers who had come into the infirmary. Hands that always shook. Never stopping no matter how warm and comfortable they were made to be.

Usually the hands belonged to the soldiers sent back from some of the worst areas, the ones who had scars on their bodies, both inside and out.

“Allison,”

“Drop it.”

Before Skylar could reply, a blur rushed out of the administration building, clattering down the stairs and turning toward them.

It was Henley.

She was upset.

Really upset.

“Hen?” Allison asked, spotting the girl as well.

Henley looked at them, eyes wild yet focused, jaw locked so tight it had to ache. Skylar felt a sense of panic fill her. Allison started beside her, jogging to close the distance. The shorter girl quickly followed suit, a half step behind her.

“Henley,” Allison reached her, immediately touching her arm.

Henley shook her head, siren eyes screaming, “Not here.”

“Ok,” Allison looked around before guiding her away from the path and around the back of the building. Skylar followed, trying to think of what could have caused Henley to be anywhere near there.

Necros rarely went to the administration building. It was meant for Field Command and other high ranking officers.

The Necromancy Department stayed in their own little corner of campus. The odd ones normally separated from the general populace.

“What’s going on?” Allison led them to a spot near the brick wall.

Henley wet her lips, eyes darting back and forth as she processed what had all happened in such a short period of time.

“Hen?” Skylar asked quietly, nudging Allison out of the way a bit.

“Did someone say something? Is it your parents? One of your aunts?” Allison rattled off.

Skylar elbowed her side.

She needed to let Henley think.

Give her a moment.

Allison pressed her lips together, biting the tip of her tongue.

Henley took a few breaths before replying, “I met with Aunt Abi and Aunt Tally.”

Skylar nearly kicked Allison to keep quiet. Mentally yelling at her to not say anything until Henley was finished.

Allison didn’t say a word.

“I had my experiment today. A body came in. I don’t think it was mine, but it was there. So, I used it. Used her.”

Skylar waited patiently.

“It worked.” Henley huffed, “My Work did exactly like I said it would.”

“That’s great, Hen.” Skylar praised.

“It’s amazing.” Allison spoke up. “You did it, Henley. Just like you said you would.”

Henley stared at them, blue hazy, like a shattered glass or the sea broken by the waves, “She worked with General Harley.” She blinked, “The war is a lie.”

“What?”

Henley nodded, “We were never attacked. It was a setup. We attacked ourselves.”

Shit.

Skylar felt like she’d been smacked, “W-Why would we…”

“What did your aunts say?” Allison asked firmly.

Skylar glanced at her in confusion. How was she not freaking out right now?

How did she not look as confused and betrayed as Skylar felt? As angry?

How could this be true? 

Attack themselves?

What?

“They would look into it. Investigate. It was hard to go off of my word, and the Work is new, but they would find out what’s going on. Until then, I’m not supposed to do anything. Keep my head down. Not draw attention to myself.” She folded her arms across her chest, rocking on the balls of her feet.

“A new body? Someone who worked with the general?”

Henley nodded.

“Died a few days ago?”

“Yes.”

Allison nodded, looking at the ground, “They want more evidence?”

Henley’s eyes shifted, mouth dropping as she studied the older woman, “No.”

Skylar looked back and forth between them, “No, what?”

“Allison, no.” Henley shook her head, “My aunts will handle it. They know what to do. We have to trust them.”

Skylar looked back and forth. What was happening?

“You believe that?” Allison’s hand coming to rest on the scourge strapped to her side, fingers tapping incessantly at the leather.

Henley didn’t. It was clear on her face. But, she stuck with it, “It’ll be ok. They have resources. We can trust them. They’ve never let me down. Ever.”

Except when she ended up almost dead in the infirmary and her mama laid dying in her mom’s arms went unsaid.

“What is Allison not supposed to do?” Skylar asked. What was she missing? What weren’t they saying?

Allison answered mildly, as if it were casual conversation, a bit of small talk about the weather, “My mother works with General Harley. One of her aides died a few days ago. If there were any documents, any evidence, my mother would have it.”

“Let my aunts handle this.” Henley grabbed Allison’s hand, “Please. Your mom...leave it be, ok? Don’t provoke her.”

Allison didn’t say anything.

“Allison, promise me.” Henley tilted her head, trying to catch and hold her gaze, blue locking on green, “We need to act like nothing’s changed. It’ll be ok. Aunt Abi and Tally know what they’re doing. We need to pretend like I didn’t tell you this.”

Allison only smiled and squeezed her hand.

She never should have told them.

* * *

An unmarked envelope appeared at Henley’s workstation two days later.

A folder full of documents laid inside.

* * *

Allison was reassigned to a new unit and deployed without warning the following week.

* * *

The orders came down soon after.

Henley was reassigned to Tally’s staff.

She would work alongside the older officer, staying by her side.

Staying in her sights.

Under her care.

* * *

It was late. 

Henley huddled next to the phone hooked to the wall in the hallway, eyelids heavy but her mind wide awake. The fresh t-shirt she’d slipped into molded to her torso and shoulders, her uniform jacket not blocking out the cold that resided inside of her. 

She should be home.

Instead, she wandered around the necro building, picking her way across campus and ending up near a payphone inside the administration building.

It was quiet.

The silence was a soft comfort that only tangled with the edges of her twisted and knotted thoughts. She tried to sleep, but the dreams, the nightmares, had woken her up. She didn’t know what was real or fake, a concoction of her mind or something tangible. The casualty rates were rising day after day. Her aunts had no news, shooing her away with a grim unrelenting lack of any progress whenever she cornered one of them. Allison was deployed to who knows where. Not one letter. She didn’t know what to do. She tried to work on something new. Lose herself in her books and notes. Turning page after page, skimming words in english, mother tongue, and a strange combination of both. She rearranged multiple labs. Took care of the recently cultivated mushroom specimens. Retyped old paperwork. Went for a jog, doing laps around the entire base until her legs hurt so much she couldn’t stand.

She tried everything to settle her mind.

To get it off what she had seen.

What she now knew.

About the fact Allison was gone and her aunts still had nothing to show for their investigation.

That Skylar sometimes shared a look with her. That Jay did the same.

That the war was growing. Rumors spread across the base like wildfire about who would be deployed next. Where the newest battlefront would open. Which country was falling on which side of the increasingly unmitigable line.

Nothing worked.

Her chest still ached and her mind still whirled. Images and voices and ideas careening and colliding in a chaotic mess.

Pressing her lips into a pale pink line, she rubbed her hands together before letting one shoot out and grab the receiver. She lifted it to her ear and quickly punched in the number she knew by heart.

It rang once.

Twice.

Her lips pressed together harder, her teeth pushing into the back of the pliant flesh. 

A third time.

There was a tiny click and a groggy voice answered, “Hello.”

Henley swallowed tersely, the voice the balm she needed to hear, “Hi, Mom.”

“Henley?”

“Yeah,” she sniffed and rubbed at her nose with the back of her sleeve.

“Hi, Honey.”

“Hi.”

There was a bit of shuffling and, “Give me a second.”

Henley nodded, even though the other woman couldn’t see.

She clutched at the receiver, her other hand digging into the lapel of her jacket and holding on. She hovered closer to the small phone bank, closing her eyes for a moment.

There was a sigh, “Your mom forgot to add tea to our shopping list like I told her to. Are we drinking...green jasmine or english breakfast?”

No chamomile that evening.

Henley’s eyes closed, mouth dripping into a comforted smile, “The green. Black will keep you awake all night.”

“You say that as if it doesn’t do the same to you.” Scylla hummed. 

Henley could hear her go about filling the kettle with water and putting it on the stove to boil. She could clearly picture the tiny cottage kitchen in her head. The way the stars would shine in through the window. The spot where the chamomile tea should be, now where the green jasmine and english breakfast sat. The old kettle and the mugs her mom would choose, not changing no matter where her parents lived.

She could almost pretend she was there, settling into the kitchen chair, curling up as her mom pushed a mug of steaming tea towards her before sitting back and taking a sip of her own, cradling the warm ceramic in her hands.

“Mom?” the plastic of the phone creaked under the pressure of her grip, and she turned her shoulder blocking off the rest of the world.

Scylla hummed, “Yes?”

Henley paused, the words on the tip of her tongue but stuck there, unable to fully form, her voice unable to make the sounds. She rubbed at her face and touched the chain of her medal, fingertip tripping along the links. 

Scylla waited for her to speak.

“How’s Mama?” Henley finally asked.

“She’s good. We’re both fine, Hen.” Scylla assured her, “Except for her losing her glasses. I swear she did it on purpose.”

“Yeah, sounds like Mama.”

They both went quiet.

Henley let her chin droop, fingers itching to tuck into her pockets, to fiddle with the cord, to drum against the phone, “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“What would you do if you knew something terrible...something that could change everything...but it would put people in danger if they knew?”

Scylla went silent.

Henley held her breath, unconsciously counting heartbeats as her stomach clenched.

“It would depend on what I knew.” Scylla finally answers, “And who would be in danger.”

Henley held the receiver so hard it was a miracle it didn't shatter in her grip, “Something really bad. Something that could get people killed. That...that is getting people killed.”

Scylla’s voice was rock solid, “Tell me what’s going on.”

Henley did.

She told her what she saw.

What she told her aunts and they told her.

About Allison being gone.

As she finished, the line remained silent. 

“Mom?”

There was a muffled curse, “Henley, listen to me very carefully. Do not go anywhere near Gen. Harley or Gen. Todd. I am serious. Do _not_ go near them. Do not talk about this where they can hear you. Where are you right now?”

“The admin building.” Henley sniffed.

Another curse, “Hang up the phone. Go home.”

“Mom?”

“Go home, Henley. Call me back once you get there.”

The phone clicked.

She’d hung up.

Henley stared at the phone for a beat before returning it to its cradle and leaving.

When she got home and picked up the phone, her mom answered on the first ring, “Henley?”

“Yeah,”

There was some shuffling, “Ok. You need to do as Abigail and Tally told you.”

“Mom…”

“Do as they said, Henley.” Scylla did not back down. At all. “You are extremely powerful, Hen. Incredibly smart. They have the resources right now. You cannot do this on your own. The army...you can’t fight them by yourself, honey. Do you understand?”

Henley nodded, “Yes.”

“Come home the next chance you get. We’ll talk about what you can do. Tally and Abigail can try to protect you right now. Your mama and I...we can figure something out. Ok? But, I need you to not make waves. You know why.”

Henley closed her eyes, the words bubbling up, “They sent Allison away, didn’t they?”

“Yes.”

Henley pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead.

“Henley, I know you want to fight. I know you do. Now is not the time. This is not the battle to wage right now. The army is...you need to make smart choices.” There was a muted muffled rumbling in the background. She heard what sounded like Scylla placing her hand over the receiver, “It’s Henley...yes…”

Raelle’s voice came on a second later, “Hen?”

“Hi Mama.”

Raelle’s voice was as grave as her wife’s, “Do as your mom says. We can help you. Abigail and Tally have you covered right now. We’ll figure out the rest. If you need to, go to Glory’s. If she’s not available, you go to Byron. It doesn't matter what time or day. Same with Skylar. Do you know where Allison was deployed?”

“No,”

“That’s fine. I can find that out.” She turned away from the receiver, “Scyl...what about my dad’s place? Yeah...ok. Anacostia...yeah. No, Abi didn’t tell me.” She spit out angrily, “Neither did Tally.” She returned back to the phone, “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

“Did you know? Did you know this happened?”

Was this what her mom meant when she said to call?

“No. There were...we’ve heard some things, but nothing solid. Nothing like this.”

“Mama?”

“Yeah?”

Henley covered her eyes with her hand, “What didn’t you tell me about when you served?”

The line went quiet.

“Mama? What didn’t you tell me? What didn’t Mom tell me?”

“We told you a lot, Hen. After you decided to enlist.”

“You died. You told me you died. Mom’s parents...were killed.”

“Henley,”

“I wanted to keep people safe.” A tear rolled down her cheek, “I wanted to make sure no one else got hurt.”

“I know.”

“Did they lie to you, too?”

Raelle sighed, “It was different back then, Henley. We...we didn’t have a choice. You know about conscription.”

“When it ended?”

Raelle was quiet.

“You and mom cried when I enlisted.” Henley choked out, throat closing, chest constricting. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Mama.”

“I know.”

“Why did you stay? You could have left. Why did you keep serving?”

“They needed people. I thought I could help. I knew I could help. The fixers...there were barely any left. I didn’t want to leave the people I cared about, your aunts.”

“Did you help?”

“I tried.”

Henley gulped, the random thought popping up, “Allison’s hands kept shaking. Before she left, her hands kept shaking. They shook all the time.”

Raelle paused before responding, “Mine did too, for a while.” A breath, “Come home, Hen.”

* * *

Henley scribbled her observations of the latest patch of samples into the logbook. The pen rolled smoothly across the page in the tiny box next to each individual specimen, the black ink sinking into the page and bleeding slightly into the crevice of the binding. 

Hearing the door open and footsteps echo on the linoleum floor, she didn’t look up, concentrating on finishing so she could grab a quick cup of coffee and meal at the mess hall before it ended service for the evening, leaving her with nothing but a few granola bars or a trip into town to pick up something from the local store or one of the dubious take out restaurants. 

A slice of pizza did sound really nice at the moment, though.

If she didn’t finish in time, maybe she’d swing by and snag a slice or two from the pizza parlor in Salem. 

She could almost taste the stringy melted cheese and overly spiced sauce.

Then, only a few more days until she could drive down to the cottage near the beach.

Go home.

She wondered what her parents had found out.

Her aunts were still mum. Nothing to share.

She forced herself to not be frustrated. Angry.

It wouldn’t help. She had to remain calm. Controlled.

They’d figure it out. They had to.

Her parents promised they would.

The footsteps stopped, and she felt eyes on her, a presence hovering heavily near her side.

“Yeah?” Henley scratched out another few words.

Someone cleared their throat, “Henley.”

It was Skylar.

What was Skylar doing in the necro building? 

Goddess, was she checking up on her, again?

Skylar shouldn't do that. If anything, she should act like normal. Like they agreed to.

The fact it might be normal for Skylar to check in on her when Allison was deployed didn’t fully register.

Without looking, Henley answered, “I’m fine, Sky. I need to finish this, then I’m done for the evening.” She knew she wasn’t supposed to be in the necro building anymore, not after her transfer to the administration building, but, she had to keep busy. Distracted.

Not like she could do much else at the moment besides worry about what her aunts were doing and if she could do anything else.

There had to be more she could do.

Something.

Anything.

Sitting around doing nothing, pretending like everything was normal. Everything was ok.

It was maddening.

Maddening to the point she was volunteering to record sample observations, something a cadet could do.

Maddening because she knew there was something wrong, something bad happening, and she was told to wait. To stand down. To put her trust in her aunts. In the officers. In the system.

To put her work on hold and not raise suspicions.

She snorted to herself.

She was a hairsbreadth from disobeying orders, disobeying her aunts, and figuring out how to get the rest of the country, the world, to see what was happening. To understand. 

To see what she had finally seen.

The only reason she didn’t was because her parents told her to wait.

Because doing so might put the people she loved in even more danger.

“Henley.”

The brunette paused at the somber tone.

Skylar never sounded that serious or forceful, especially not by only saying her name. Frowning to herself, she peeked up, her frown growing as she saw Skylar and Jay standing side by side.

Jay looked miserable.

Skylar had tears in her eyes.

The pen fell from her hand.

Her heart stopped beating.

Then, it thundered back to life.

“What? What is it?” 

What was wrong?

Had the general figured out it was them? 

Had something happened to one of her aunts?

Her parents?

Skylar? Jay?

She tried to remember where she had parked. How long it would take them to get to it. The distance to her parents’ place. Glory’s. Byron’s.

Skylar inhaled sharply, opening her mouth but closing it, not sure what to say, how to say it. Jay only offered her a sorrowful glance, a glance that had Henley’s stomach plummeting into knots.

“What? Tell me. What’s going on?” panic started to fill her, cold dread nipping at her spine, threading through her veins, filling her lungs with ice.

Something was seriously wrong.

Was it her family?

Were there more deployments? Was Skylar being sent away?

No, they couldn’t be doing that. Not Skylar. 

Not Jay or anyone else.

She would have heard. 

Skylar was assigned directly to Fort Salem. She wasn’t supposed to be deployed anywhere.

Skylar gulped and took a tiny step forward, “Henley,” she wet her lips, “I think you should sit down.”

Henley was _not_ going to sit down, “Tell me what is going on, Skylar.”

Ice encased her entire body as Skylar swayed, taking a few seconds before continuing, “We got news from...the reports came in.”

“Reports?” what was she talking about? “Skylar, tell me!”

A headache began to form in the back of her mind. Her chin quivered, hands shaking. 

The room began to shrink. Her clothes felt small. Too small. Like a straight jacket. Like chains.

Jay touched Skylar’s hand, and the fixer straightened her back, staring Henley in the eye, “We received the list of those injured and killed within the last week. The injured will go to my unit. The...dead will go to yours.”

Henley searched her eyes, blue orbs flitting back and forth.

Skylar didn’t back down. Didn’t look away.

There was something there.

Something dark.

Something sad.

Something horribly broken.

Her chest tightened, “Sky…”

No.

It wasn’t what she was thinking.

It wasn’t possible.

Not that.

No.

“Don’t” trapped in her throat.

Don’t say it.

No.

“Allison was killed during a strike on an enemy…

Henley didn’t hear the rest.

Skylar’s voice turned into a garbled mess.

_Allison was killed._

She watched as Skylar’s mouth moved, forming words, making sounds, sounds she couldn’t hear.

_Allison was killed._

A dull buzz sounded in her ears.

_Allison was killed._

She couldn’t breathe. 

She couldn’t think.

No.

This wasn’t….

No.

It wasn’t true.

It was a lie. A mistake. 

Allison couldn’t be dead.

She was fine.

She was Allison.

She was always going to be there.

Like she promised.

No matter what.

Because they chose each other. 

Skylar had stopped speaking, her hand reaching out, catching Henley’s arm.

She didn’t feel it.

She didn’t feel anything.

She didn’t know she was crying until her vision was so blurry her friends were nothing more than hazy shapes, the lights glinting eerily around their frames. Like ghosts. Phantoms.

“Henley,” Skylar squeezed her arm, “Henley.”

“Hey, Hen, breathe. You need to breathe.” Jay spoke up.

Henley blinked, tears breaking down her cheeks, “Where is she? She’s not...she’s fine.”

“Hen,” Skylar’s face dropped.

“She’s fine!” Henley shook her head, tears flinging to the ground, “I can...I can help her. Where...she’s not dead. Death is…”

Death was complicated. It wasn’t black and white. Death was life and life was death and she could help her. She could save her. Allison promised not to leave, and she wasn’t going to break that promise. She was never going to break another promise. Henley knew death. She knew the Current. She knew the Work. “I can…”

“No, Henley.” Skylar filled her vision, “You can’t.”

A sudden burst of uncontrollable rage filled the necro. A spitting snarling fiery demon of anger and pain erupted in her soul. She pushed at Skylar, sending the fixer stumbling back a step, “Where is she?”

“Hen,”

“Don’t! Don’t tell me she’s gone. Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do! I can do this. I can save her. I can bring her back.”

“She’s gone, Henley!” Skylar shouted. Her voice immediately lowered, “She’s gone. It’s...they tried. By the time she got back to the fixer and the necro in her unit...they couldn’t do anything. Her body is already on a plane heading back to base.” A tear rolled down her cheek, “I’m sorry, Henley. I’m sorry.”

Henley shook her head, knees buckling, “No. No.”

Skylar caught her before she hit the floor, holding her as she sobbed into her chest.

_Allison was killed._

* * *

The funeral was a quiet affair.

Gen. Harley spoke about service. Honor. How Allison was brave and made her family proud.

Henley could only glare at the ground, anger rippling through her as Gen. Todd and her family watched on. As they blocked Henley and Skylar from even approaching the casket.

Skylar held her hand throughout the entire cold and impersonal ceremony. Her thumb rubbed back and forth comfortingly across her knuckles, shoulder pressed against the brunette’s, a solid warmth that refused to leave.

She didn’t see Scylla speaking lowly, harshly, unforgivingly with Abigail and Tally, Glory nearby, listening worriedly.

She didn’t see Raelle staredown Gen. Todd, Byron at her side, hand poised to grab in case she moved toward the officer. Using his entire body when she did react to the challenge silently directed her way by the other woman.

All she saw were the green eyes that first night so long ago, hazy in her drunken stupor but bright as the stars.

They were supposed to have time.

They were supposed to have one more chance.

* * *

The deluge of the orders came down quickly. Relentlessly.

Mercilessly.

* * *

_Skylar sat in the chair, not moving, still as a statue, eyes vacant, unseeing, lost._

_Henley knelt down in front of her, Jay rounding her side to touch the other witch’s shoulder, sliding her hand around to cup the nape of her neck, thumb pressing lightly._

_“Sky,” Jay murmured, running her other palm down her arm and taking her hand, “sweetie?”_

_Henley searched her blank face, the normally soulful eyes terrifying her._

_There was nothing there._

_Nothing but a slowly building glimpse of disbelieving fear as the fixer carefully blinked, gaze coming to the present._

_“Sky, babe, you’re scaring me.” Jay caressed the nape of her neck. “Say something._

_Skylar stared straight at Henley, voice small, shattered, “I’m being deployed.”_

Henley stormed out of the building, the door smacking harshly against the wall as she slammed it open, not caring that it shuddered at the force. 

_They all crowded around the small television set, staff and aides mingling with the higher ranks. The small box blinked a few moments, a couple stray lines of color fuzzing about before it became fully clear. Someone clicked the volume louder as the headlines flashed underneath the broadcaster in the chyron. Large bold block letters proclaiming what the man in a bland dark blue suit was telling them, reading from the papers stacked on the desk and a picture of the general shaking hands with the president flashing over his shoulder._

_“In an unprecedented move,” the man spoke clearly and evenly, staring straight into the camera, “General Patricia Harley and President Yolanda Desde have reached a tentative agreement to fuller explore and institute a new version of the conscription once included as part of the 1692 Salem Accord.”_

_The air in the room disappeared in a gasp._

_The entire world, all of Fort Salem, seemed to stop._

_A moment frozen in time._

_The screen changed, a clip appearing, the general standing tall, proud, victorious, in front of the cameras, medals gleaming on her chest and uniform taut and projecting strength._

_“We are in unprecedented times.” Her voice boomed, “With our enemies gaining strength and numbers, we, too, must match them, exceed them, show them we are superior and that the army of the United States of America shall and will always protect her people and this great land we call our own. Witches everywhere will, once again, be able to serve with pride and honor as we work to secure the safety and prosperity of our citizens.”_

_The clip ended, the man reappearing once again._

_“Since the end of the Salem Accord, there have been active groups lobbying for a reimagining or re-institution of witch conscription, citing the power of the witches and the need for them to protect civilians against an increasingly unstable and dangerous world with foreign nations utilizing their own witch communities to gain a much deeper and stronger foothold globally. With this announcement, their calls have been answered.”_

How could they?

How could this be happening?

She told her aunts. Told them what was happening. What she knew.

Allison told them. Gave them documents.

Allison.

Henley sucked in a shattered breath, hands fisted and grabbing at her jacket, her shirt, anything to hold on to.

She wanted to smash something.

Hurl something as far and as long as she could.

Feel her muscles strain and ache and scream in agony.

Just like her mind was. Her heart. Everything.

Her fingers stumbled upon the chain looped around her neck.

Her medal. 

The medal she received when she took the oath. Swore to serve and protect.

Serve and protect.

With one vicious tear, she ripped it off. The metal balled into her hand and she whipped her arm back, launching it off into the distance, not caring where it landed.

Hoping she never saw it again.

Conscription?

The war shouldn’t even be happening!

They shouldn’t be fighting!

Why hadn't her aunts done something? All they did was tell her to trust them. They would handle it.

How was this handling it?

People were dying!

Witches were dying!

Skylar was being deployed.

Allison was gone.

And, now they wanted to bring more in? Force witches to serve? In a war that meant nothing?

They wanted witches to die? For what?

So General Harley could stand there next to the president? Looking smug and smirking and telling the world how much...how much power she had?

Rage consumed her. An unadulterated rage the likes of which she had never felt before.

Allison died because of them.

She was gone and never coming back because of them.

Skylar was leaving because of them.

Skylar could die because of them.

Aunt Abigail...Aunt Tally...what had they done?

What had any of them done?

What had the army done? The system? The people she was told to trust? 

Her mind skipped back, skipped forward, faces and voices ricocheting around her mind.

Allison, tired, tense, preparing to be deployed.

Her mama, leaning heavily on a cane, never talking about her service. The service that almost killed her.

Her mom, so angry, so scared, when Henley said she enlisted, eyes darker whenever she was on base. Her mom, whose own parents Henely never got to meet because...because they were killed by military police. 

Skylar, never wanting to be there, quietly proclaiming how it was dangerous, risky, that the officers didn’t care about them.

The civilian who yelled at her outside the ice cream shop, her mama nearly going to jail, a silencer threatened to be latched to her throat, because she reacted, hit him, protected her family.

Allison’s mother, always sneering at her, at her parents. They weren’t good enough. They weren’t rich enough or powerful enough. The woman who now stood by General Harley’s side.

Seeing Carter make a mistake during a training exercise, the instructor not noticing or caring. Running to help her classmate, the world going black.

An explosion just like the one used against the USS Alder.

Waking up to green eyes hovering over her and her mom screaming, her mama limp in her wife’s arms.

The scar on her mama’s chest that she always buttoned her shirts all the way up so it wasn’t visible.

The way her mom looked at the newspaper that day at the cottage, the headline foreshadowing what was happening right now. Conscription.

Skylar’s face as she told her she was being deployed.

The way her civilian dates would give her a funny look or their voice would change for a second when she told them she was a witch.

Trusting her superiors. Her aunts. Those above her. All for nothing. 

Her parents.

Skylar.

Allison.

All she had wanted to do was serve. To make her parents proud.

To keep witches safe.

To keep the people she loved safe.

To not get hurt like she had.

How was anyone safe?

“Hell of an announcement, huh?”

Henley jerked around at the calm voice.

A woman, a soldier, stood a few paces away, hands loose in her pockets and weight casually leaning on one leg. Her fiery red hair was short around her ears and spiked up, eyes black and taking her in with an air of mild interest.

Henley wiped at her face, glaring at the stranger, “Excuse me?”

“The announcement. The general.” The witch shook her head, “Quite a day.”

The hairs on the back of Henley’s neck stood up, “I’d like to be left alone.”

The woman nodded, “Sure, I get that. You look really pissed.” She tilted her head, “Were you thinking of getting out or…” her eyes squinted, “you lost someone.”

Henley’s entire body trembled.

The woman sighed, “I know we’re not supposed to talk about it, but this is where we’ve been heading since conscription ended.”

Henley watched her silently.

“Civilians want us to fight their wars. Fight their battles. And, some want to. High Atlantics...it gives them power. Prestige. Wealth.” Her eyes flashed, “Look where we are, fighting a war to make others feel better, richer, have more power. To make _civilians_ happy.” She shrugged, “It’s never going to end. Not like this. Not with these people in power. More of us are going to die.” Her eyes turned soft, “What was her name?”

Henley swallowed thickly, voice hoarse, “Allison.”

Allison Todd. Dead

Raelle and Scylla Ramshorn-Collar. Broken. Haunted. Lost more than they would ever admit to Henley. The younger girl not fully noticing the ghosts that followed them until she was older, until she had her own ghosts.

Skylar Dobbins. About to be deployed to the same war that killed Allison.

So many of her friends were getting hurt or killed.

So many witches streamed through her lab.

The witch nodded, “I’m sorry. About Allison.” A twitch of the lips, “Our ancestors fought because they were forced to. Fought for people who didn’t care if we lived or died. Then, our parents and our grandparents...some of them...fought for us. Fought for our freedom. They were few, but they were strong. Smart. They knew we couldn’t live our lives, be happy, be who we are by...by placing our trust in the wrong people. In people who could only gain by keeping us in line. By keeping us down.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, there are others out there that feel the way you do. That anger? That rage? That pain? We all feel it. Some of us want to do something with it. About it. Help witches instead of sending them off to their deaths so civilians can sit back and do nothing and the generals can primp and preen with their shiny medals.” The girl approached her, hands coming out of her pockets, “I’m saying - the way over is under. The way out is in.”

She held out a hand, a small plastic lighter in her palm.

“I’m saying there’s a war being fought, and it’s not the one you think it is.”

* * *

Back at Henley’s place, the phone rang, finally clicking to the answering machine.

“Henley,” Scylla’s voice came through strong and clear, “your mama and I are on our way to you right now. Get Skylar. Pack a bag. Essentials only. Do not talk to anyone. Not even your aunts. Do not wear your medal or your uniform. I’ll explain more once we get there. We love you. Do not go back to Fort Salem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...huh. What in the world was that? 
> 
> Thoughts? Let me hear them.
> 
> Otherwise, thanks for hanging on for this wild and wacky ride. You all are amazing, and I appreciate every single one of you.

**Author's Note:**

> You know the drill. Love you for reading. Double love for kudos. Triple love and a bag of chips for leaving a comment.


End file.
